Celestial shades

Just a reverie

Celestial shades

 

Long pale shafts of buoyant dawn cheerfully ghost their way through my bedroom blinds. Elevating my hand slowly I watch as soundless light laces with my fingers. Warmth fills my palm as an incandescent hand forms with my own. Transported through my memories I see through the eyes of a child. I glimpse the sunrises of my past and reach out through time towards them. Rising to my knees I brush aside the shades searching for myself. A man’s blue eyes mirroring in the glass gaze upon me, he smiles at me as we blink our way back to reality. “Here we are my friend”, I quietly call, “living in the days of dreams”. With lost eyes the reflection whispers, “and dreaming of yesterdays...” Closing our eyes we feel shadow shades streak across our faces. Leisurely our heads fall backwards as we allow gravity to part us from our past; in silent synchrony we say our goodbyes. Collapsing into a blanket lake of gold I sink beneath the waters of dreams, drowning in daybreak, breathing only reminiscence.

 

 

 

Reviews

[LoneWolf]

(in light of the accurate critique regarding my "lazy writing" problems, I rewrote this. Let me know if I have improved it ^_^

Long pale shafts of buoyant dawn cheerfully ghost their way through my bedroom blinds. Elevating my hand towards the glow I appreciate the light lacing with my fingers. I embrace the incandescent hand of warmth pouring into my palm. Transported through my memories I see through the eyes of a child. I glimpse the sunrises of forgotten mornings and sense my heart reaching for their memory. Rising to my knees I brush aside the shades searching for myself. Mirroring in the glass, a man’s blue eyes gaze beyond me, he smiles wistfully. Together we blink our way back to reality with synchronized facsimile “Here we are my friend”, unspoken the words are conveyed, “Living in the days of dreams”. With vacant expression the reflection whispers, “And dreaming of yesterdays...” Closing our mind we feel shadow shades streak across our faces. Leisurely our heads fall backward as we allow gravity to part us from the past; as one we depart from the glass collapsing into a blanket lake of golden shine. I sink beneath the waters of dreams, drowning in daybreak, breathing only reminiscence.

[NightShade]

A spectacular tour through an ethereal realm. A truly compelling bit of literature!

[Alskar]

I fell into a world of cosmic fantasy as I read this. Your imagery makes this piece really alive. Two reasonably small things, one this reads more like prose than a poem and you should perhaps structure it as such, and you sometimes add words where they are not appropriate or needed. 'Soundless light', we know light is soundless. Apart from that, I'm in love with the otherworldly feel to this.

[Siddhartha]

There is something so innocent about this poem that it is difficult not to fall in love with it. There is that joy of fulfillment, of redemption even. The spiritual overtones Kinda reminds me of Richard Bach. As someone rightly said, there is something very very dreamy about this piece.

[Audrey Howitt]

Lovely piece. It feels so innocent, so filled with the wonderment of childhood. I love it!

[Aleyah]

I like the style of this, I really love all of the descriptions because it creates fantastic imagery...I love the line, "With lost eyes the reflection whispers, “and dreaming of yesterdays...” Closing our eyes we feel shadow shades streak across our faces"...very beautiful piece :)

[Jester]

This is fantastic. :)

[Sarah Hale]

Love this! It reminds me of a dream I had once! Excellent piece!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

An absolutely dreamy piece...........wow!

[Sel Whiteley]

There are some truly beautiful moments in this writing. The flow is fantastic. There is a great philosophical depth and strong characterisation. The only thing I'd criticise is the adverbs, they reflect lazy writing that exposes a lack of self-confidence in the verbs and speech attributions themselves. They are completely unnecessary. Other than that, a poem with some truly beautiful moments.