Hate

this is in the perspective of my sixth grade self.

Mom always asks me why I don't want to go to school. She tells me its normal to get made fun of and I should tell a teacher if someone is bothering me. I do. It doesn't stop. 

The girls keep pushing me in the halls. The boys keep calling me names. I feel so alone. There is no one I can talk to, no one who can stand up for me.

I do nothing after telling the the teachers. The bullying stopped for a while. Then it only got worse.

"God, you little waste of space, get out of my way!" I turn around and see one of the 'bad' girls that used to pick on me. She has her hands on her hips and her eyes are piercing. 

"I'm sorry..." I move out of the way for her. 

She walked by me and said words I will never forget to this day. 

"You would be better off dead than standing in my way." I stare at her as the group that surrounded her laughed and walked on. The words keep running over and over in my head.

I still never forgotten what they said. What did I ever do to them besides help them pick up their papers one day when they dropped them?

I waited in line and they pushed in front of me. They seemed to act like I wasn't even there. Thank goodness they didn't say anything to me. Suddenly, a hand came on my shoulder.

"Now you are making us later to lunch." The hostile voice made me flinch. Hands were placed in between my shoulder blades and I was shoved forward. I was pushed right into the girls that hated me for no reason.

I still remember the daggers of their sharp glare stabbing me as they pushed me into the wall. None of the teachers had seen this go down. I remember letting out a small yelp and only got laughed at.

I grabbed my things and headed to my locker. I was really excited. It was Friday and nothing wrong had happened today. I open my locker and get down to get my books out of the locker. The hallway was filled with kids so I didn't feel the presence behind me.

"Oops." A hard shove knocked me off of my balance on my knees. My head flung into my neighbors locker and closed it in the process. 

"Hey, my locker!" My body shook with frustration and embarrassment. Everything in me told me to yell yell back, 'hey, my head!', but I just apologized after that and ran out of there.

Not much happened after that. I had a goose egg on my head for about two weeks and what not, but they stopped messing with me as much. Names and stuff like that is all. 

Things stopped all together when the main person who bothered me got arrested in the middle of school. She was taken out in hand cuffs. She left school and that group disbanded. 

She is now back at my school. Her group is back together and they are starting up again. I hope they know I am not the same push over again. I will stand up for myself and show them what happens when they mess with me.  

Author's Note

Black is me past me. Blue the present me.