Chapter 4

For the next week, Shay seemed to isolate more and more each day. She sometimes forgot to eat and no one really saw her unless they peeked their head into her room to see if she was still alive. Mommaw stayed in her room as much as possible and played on her computer. So, René and Kristen were basically the only ones living in the house. René and Kristen ended up sharing the same room because Kristen didn’t like to be alone and René didn’t think she should be alone when things were upside down. Food became scarce, so René stopped eating three meals a day so Kristen could have enough to eat. The Saturday before school, Shay woke René and Kristen up to go shopping for school supplies and school uniforms. René wondered where the money came from but she didn’t argue because truth be told, Kristen’s clothes were too holey and René’s pants were almost nonexistent.

          After the clothes and shoes were bought, they went to the nearest Family Dollar store to get paper, folders, pencils and backpacks. They weren’t able to get much more than that but René was content with it. And then when they got back home around lunch time, Shay went back into her room and isolated. René wanted to help her mother but she didn’t know how. She felt like she wasn’t doing enough and that her mom was feeling the blunt force of it.

          Keeping Kristen busy until nap time, René was exhausted. She hadn’t slept a full night’s sleep in a few days and her shoulders felt permanently hunched forward. She didn’t know how she was going to handle school, Kristen, house work, and the worry of losing the house. She still didn’t know how she was going to sneak a job behind Shay’s back. René had brought up the idea of getting a job to her and Shay had almost yelled her head off telling René that she didn’t need a fifteen year old telling her how much a poor mother she was. René hadn’t meant to insult her so she didn’t bring it up again. Eric hadn’t been by to see Kristen at all since Monday and René wondered if his absence was foreshadowing what was going to happen when he took Kristen.

          Once Kristen was asleep, René started to clean the morning dishes and lunch dishes. She looked in the fridge hoping to find something good for dinner and found nothing really worth cooking. For one, she didn’t really know how to cook and two, anything she did know how to cook, she didn’t have all the ingredients to make it taste remotely edible. Looking in the cupboard, she took out the instant rice and a can of beans. They were going to have a poor man’s dinner. She sighed and sat down at the kitchen table, totally spent.

          A knock on the door grated against René’s nerves. To her surprise, Shay emerged from the comfort of her room to answer it. René heard a conversation in whispers and a few forced laughs. A little curious, René poked her head around the door jam and saw one of the church members standing there with an envelope. She was smiling at Shay and seemed to be speaking to her about God. René didn’t catch the end of what the woman was saying but the relief in Shay’s voice when she thanked the woman was unmistakable; the envelope in Shay's hand.

          Going back into the kitchen and trying not to think about her hunger, René tried to put that little meeting together. Involvement in drugs was out the window because Shay had been clean for over seven years and the woman she had just talked to had never been into drugs, at least so much as she knew. René watched as her mother made her way back into her room and contemplated asking what that was all about but then thought better of it. She didn’t feel like getting into a fight, which is what happened anytime they talked since she got back.

          Dinner that night was just as empty as the other nights that week and René dreaded the next day. The days were going by way too quickly for René’s liking. One more week and Eric would haul Kristen away. René had found a new reason to hate Eric. He had lied to her. She didn’t know why she even believed him but she was more pissed at him than she was at herself. He was going to move to Philadelphia. He wasn’t going to stay in Texas, let alone Waco, and René felt even more betrayed. She wanted to commit homicide but she knew that wouldn’t help. It would just make things a lot worse for her and Kristen.

          After dinner, René helped Kristen pick out which color polo shirt she wanted to wear with her khaki skorts for Monday. At nine, René had Kristen in bed and saying her bed time prayer. Kissing her forehead and hugging her goodnight, René got the biggest surprise.

          “G’night, Mommy.” René froze and didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to confirm it but then she was a little selfish and felt a little pride. Conflicting with herself, René watched Kristen roll over and fall asleep.

          Too exhausted to go back down stairs, René lied down on Lee’s bed because Kristen had taken hers. The smell of her older sister brought back memories of them staying up all night talking about nothing and everything. She imagined she was talking to Lee right then. Telling her about everything; about her fears, thoughts, and what ifs and what wills. The darkness served as a movie screen as René saw Lee in her mind’s eye. The anxiety soon melted away and René was again thinking about Kristen calling her mommy.

          She didn’t really think it was a bad thing but then she knew it wasn’t her place. There was no way she could risk Kristen calling her mommy in front of Shay. Shay would flip. But then Shay hadn’t been around much. What was René supposed to do? Stop taking care of Kristen? That wasn’t an option. Definitely not an option. But then it’s back at square one. If René continued to take care of Kristen, René would soon take over Shay’s role. And René didn’t really want to do that. She was honestly too young but then there wasn’t anyone else to do it. Kristen couldn’t take care of herself and Shay sure as Hell wasn’t able to take care of Kristen.

          Left without another way out, René made the decision to do her best at being an older sister. If Kristen called her mom, she would correct her but not scold her. It wasn’t right to get angry when she didn’t see it as something to get angry at. With that last thought, René fell asleep around 2 a.m. curled up in Lee’s scent and dreamed of her coming back home to stay and making things better.

Reviews

[nono]

OMG! Climax part much? I like it though and ain't that the second time of 2 a.m. used in this curiouser and curiouser!!! Does it have significance meaning, or considence! You did a nice job on this chapter once again! I can't stop reading it!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very tense chapter. Poor children get twisted up in separations. I believe the child know at a certain age know what is right for them. A very sad chapter. The emotion of the upcoming separation can create chaos in a life. A very good chapter.
Coyote