Chapter 3

The next morning, René found everyone congregated in the kitchen, minus Kristen. Eric was sitting at the head of the table again, Shay sitting adjacent to him and Lee sitting across from him. There was another chair available but René had a feeling she didn’t want to sit. Eric’s arms were crossed over his chest and his face was in a controlled fixture. Shay was looking into her cup of coffee like it had the future written out for her and Lee was looking in Eric’s general direction but not exactly at him.

          “Just so it’s not like a bombshell�"” Eric began but Shay interrupted him with scorn.

          “Oh, yeah. Like you didn’t already do that.” Eric just looked at her and cleared his throat to continue.

          “Just so it’s not a bombshell,” he repeated, “in two weeks, Kristen’s coming with me.” He looked straight at René. “And you’ll get to see her every day. She won’t be too far from here. I’m not taking her from you.” He leaned his chair back slightly and René wished it would fall backwards and he would hit his head on the edge of the sink behind him. “Since I know you like to speak your mind, René, I leave the floor open to you.”

          “First, do you even know her favorite food?” She crossed her arms and leaned her weight on her left leg. “Hmm?”

          “Yes. It’s chicken.” He said confidently.

          “No. It’s not. She likes Spam. Hickory smoked to be specific.” Her glare intensified. “Do you know her favorite color?”

          “She doesn’t even know her favorite color, René. How do you expect me to?”

          “Her favorite color is green. Before I left, it was pink. Before the school year ended, it was red.” She shifted legs and set her jaw. “Do you even know how many pills to give her in the morning for her anxiety? Or the prayer she says before she goes to sleep? Or what to say to her when she’s had a nightmare? You don’t, do you?” She watched as Eric became even more uncomfortable. He looked like he regretted opening the floor for her to talk. “What kind of school is she going to? How high are their academic scores? Will they be able to keep her interested so she doesn’t fail? Have you been there and met the teachers? What kind of neighborhood are y’all moving to? Will she be able to play outside and not get shot at?

          With every question she asked, Eric’s face gained a new piece of stone. When he had answered all her questions or remained silent until the next one was asked, René rushed back up the stairs to her bedroom and curled up in her bed. She stifled her cries by shoving a pillow in her mouth and screaming. Her heart felt trampled on and torn to shreds. The pain in her chest was as much physical as it was emotional. She thought a knife in her chest wouldn’t hurt as much. Choking back the worst of her sobs, René wished she had succeeded in her attempted suicide. Anything was better than what she was feeling. It was like gaining the best thing in the world and then having it ripped away. The hollow place where her heart was supposed to be echoed in its own sorrow. The screams that couldn’t pass her lips lodged themselves deep inside her being to escape later when she least expected it.

          Swallowing back more snivels, she wiped her eyes and rocked back and forth to calm her nerves. Once the sea was tranquil again and her emotional barriers were set up, she allowed herself to think about the possibility that moving away with Eric might be good for Kristen. He said the school was good and the teachers knew how to teach students with “disabilities” like Kristen’s. He said the neighborhood had other little kids that she could play with and becomes friends with.

          A knock on her door brought her back to her reality. She waited for the knock to come again before she invited the person in. Seeing Eric walk in slowly made her want to throw the pillow at him but she knew it wasn’t hard enough to hurt him like she wanted to. He took a seat on Lee’s bed in front of her, leaned forward, placed his elbows on his knees, and folded his hands together. René could have sworn she saw some sort of satisfaction in his eyes but as soon as it appeared, it vanished.

          “Look. René. I’m not doing this to hurt you.” He rubbed his hands together uncomfortably. “It’s just your mom and I are having some differences and we can’t seem to work them out.”

          “So you think traumatizing Kristen is the best way to go about fixing them?” René whispered. “You have no idea what it’s like to go through a divorce when you remember it. She’s gonna think it’s her fault. And no matter how many times you tell her it’s not, she won’t believe you. You know that right?”

          René watched Eric closely, trying to find something in his body language that suggested more than just selfishness. If she was hoping to find something, she was let down. “She won’t be taken away from y’all. You’ll get to see her every day.” René was getting tired of him telling her that. She didn’t want to believe him but the more he said it, the more he reeled her in.

          “Ok.” René continued to hold the pillow to her torso and rocked slightly. She wanted to be left alone, but then her time with Kristen was numbered. So, once he left the room, René rushed to get dressed and met Shay in the kitchen. Her mother was ambling around like she had something to do but couldn’t remember what it was. The sixth sense the females had in her family kicked in and René felt the hopelessness, fear, and grief swarm off her mother in waves. Her mother’s emotions then became her own and she didn’t know what to do either. Lee was leaving that day and René was going to stay home to look after Kristen because Mommaw couldn’t handle little kids anymore.

          After Shay and Lee left, René set Kristen up with a movie in the living room and started to read a book. She tried to get drawn into the book like she normally did but no matter how hard she read, the words just didn’t play the movie in her mind. Her mind kept wandering back to the situation at hand. She still didn’t quite understand why Eric was leaving but she knew it had something to do with the roommate they had had before she left to visit her dad. Wolf was his name and he was a tattoo artist. René had actually liked him a little but apparently he was Eric’s role model. Wolf was around his late 40’s early 50’s and had hung out with Eric when he was just a kid, so René could understand the loyalty, but what René didn’t understand was how Wolf could have split their marriage. Just the thought enraged René and she blamed Wolf for Eric’s behavior.

          From the tidbits of information about Wolf that René gathered from Shay’s and Eric’s arguments helped her anger to flourish. Wolf treated Kristen like s**t. He would tease her when he had candy or something she wanted. He would pinch her playfully and then when she did the same thing back out of anger (she didn’t understand why pain was related to play), he would yell and get her into trouble for being mean. Eric didn’t seem to believe that Wolf did that even when Shay showed him the bruises Kristen had on her arms and legs. Eric said they were from playing outside, but the messed up thing was, Kristen didn’t play outside. Eric was keeping Kristen in danger and he didn’t even care. All because he wanted to be with his idol.

          René became infuriated at Eric’s stupidity. Her blood rushed through her ears and her hands gripped the book tightly until her knuckles turned white. If she ever was left alone with Wolf, René didn’t know if she’d be able to keep herself from doing some serious damage to the b*****d. She had never hated a person before and never really knew why people hated others but she was now beginning to understand the feelings behind it. She knew she should fear the hatred but she didn’t want to, so she marveled in it and let it grow. Just picturing Wolf caused her to see red.

          “René?” A small voice interrupted her daydreams of tearing Wolf limb from limb. “René, I’m hungry. Can you make some popcorn?”

          “How about a sandwich and then some popcorn if you’re still hungry?” René put the book down and tried to slow her heart rate before her heart exploded. Kristen seemed to think about it even though she knew she really didn’t have a choice. She giggled and started chanting for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Getting a little annoyed, René took deep breaths. She didn’t want to blow up on Kristen. None of this was Kristen’s fault and René’s anger had nothing to do with her.

          René let Kristen help get the jelly and peanut butter ready to spread. After cutting the made up sandwich into many tiny triangles for Kristen, René started to clean. Cleaning was always a chore for her when she wasn’t upset but when she was emotional, it helped her to calm down. And once she started on her cleaning rampage, it was nearly impossible to get her to stop.

          René realized the entire situation they were in was nearly the worst they could ever be in. Eric was the sole income carrier. Shay couldn’t work because she was always sick. Her lupus would flare up too many times a year for her to keep a job and the bosses never really liked her doctors telling them they needed to pay her compensation for when she wasn’t able to work. With Eric gone, money was a problem. Also, school was just around the corner. In fact, it was only one more week away. How was René going to get to school after getting Kristen to Pre-K? How were they going to eat? How could they afford rent? the utilities? What was going to happen when winter came? Being only fifteen, René started to think about getting a job. She knew she could work part-time shifts after school and then take a graveyard shift at a convenience store.

          Everything seemed to spin in circles through her mind, all surrounding money and how to get it. Before she knew it, she was finished with the kitchen and started to work on the den where the computer was. Then an idea struck her. Could they sell the computer for about two hundred dollars and then sell her guitar for another two hundred? That was rent right there… Before she could think any further, Shay came in through the kitchen door leading outside. René hadn’t heard the car come in but then again she had been so consumed in her own thoughts she wouldn’t have heard the phone ring if it had been right next to her. Shay paused in the doorway and stared at René. René could tell her mom was hurting but she didn’t know what to do. Shay had always been the strong person René had wanted to be. Never shedding a tear unless the occasion called for it and sometimes not even then. But today, Shay looked as fragile as René felt.

          “I’m gonna lay down for a little while. If I’m not up by six, wake me up.” She walked into her room and shut her door. René looked at the clock on the computer. It was 2:00 p.m.

Reviews

[nono]

I like it and I like the discussion gives a stronger understanding to the point of the story! Nice job keep it up I can't wait to read more of it!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very strong chapter. I like the discussion of how to take of the child. The character are very interesting. The pace of the story was very good. A very good chapter.
Coyote