Chapter 2

“You mean after you took her?!” René’s voice echoed in the small kitchen. “You coward! You couldn’t even tell me yourself!” René’s cheeks became wet and her vision blurred. Anger at her own weakness rushed through her chest and her hands curled into fists at her sides. She stormed out of the kitchen with him following behind her trying to justify himself.

“You’ll get to see her every day. I’m not leaving Waco.” He stammered but René wasn’t buying it. “Look, you need to calm down, you’re getting Kristen upset.” And just like that was her cue, Kristen started crying, too. Eric went to pick her up but René stepped in front of him and took her into her own arms, glaring at him. Hugging her and swaying back and forth, René was able to get a hold on her own emotions to quiet Kristen enough to tell her everything was going to be ok. René wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and then gently wiped Kristen’s with her thumbs.

“I’m gonna be back tonight after youth group.” René told Kristen and hugged her again. A honk from outside told René that Jim was waiting for her to get into the van. Without a second glance at anyone, René left. Stepping up to the sliding door to the van, René burst into tears and fought the urge to scream. The van was so crowded with the other members of the youth group that René had to sit on the step leading to the door. Curled up, she was able to cry in a relatively private bubble.

Since her church, Church Under the Bridge, didn’t have a church building, the youth group had to use other churches to assemble. The one they went to was normally unavailable for them but they were lucky. The basketball court was open and the comfortable chairs in the other rooms were accessible. A few of the girls seized the chairs before everyone was even in the building and started to flip through the channels on the TV. René didn’t really know anyone and she didn’t really care for the ones she did know. Just about every Sunday, there was a different group of people mixed in with the usuals. In isolation, René picked up a magazine and flipped through the pages while sitting on the floor in a corner. She wasn’t really reading it but she just didn’t want to seem abnormal. Turning the seventeenth page, one with a gorgeous brunette, René realized she wasn’t alone anymore. Jim had sat right next to her and was acting like he was watching TV but René knew better.

“Your mom called.” He took a sideways glance at her with his hand on his chin and his elbow on his bent knee.

“Yeah? What’d she want?” René turned another page without looking at him. She clenched her jaw and drew in a deep shaky breath. She knew she wasn’t fooling him but she had to tell herself she was so she wouldn’t break down again like a cry-baby. She felt a little self-conscious with him staring at her but she knew he cared.

“She said Kristen’s staying.” René leaned her head back and looked up. Her eyes became glossy and her sniffles came back. Closing her eyes, she took deep breaths to calm her nerves. Relieved for the time being, René felt some weight shift off her chest and shoulders. She swallowed and returned her attention back to the magazine.

“Ok.” She shuddered a little and gained her composure. “Thank you.” Finally taking the chance to look at him, René saw the concern in his eyes. Without realizing it, René studied them. The deep blue contrasted with the light blue and green specks scattered around the pupils. It was almost as if his eyes were made for concern with the way the light filtered through them, softening them.

“You want to talk about it?” René almost laughed but refrained. She knew talking about it would only make it worse. She didn’t feel like becoming the butt of every joke.

“Nah. It won’t help anything.” Jim looked like he was about to argue but seemed to reconsider because instead, he just nodded and returned his attention to the TV screen.

“You know, you don’t have to do this by yourself.” This time René did laugh but stifled it quickly by clearing her throat. “I’m serious René. You don’t have to be alone.”

“And may I ask who would be so kind as to share my sorrows with me?” The hint of sarcasm mixed with René’s bitterness created a long pause before Jim finally answered.

“Your Father who art in Heaven.”

“Hmmm, yeah. He hides in Heaven while His children suffer down here in the middle of His and Lucifer’s war. What a wonderful way to show His love.” She turned another page a little forcefully in her sudden anger and glared at the selection of runway clothes.

“He’s with you at all times. All you have to do is just let Him do what He does best.” He turned to face her and she got caught up in his stare. If he were a preacher, she knew she would have a hard time zoning him out. It was like his presence demanded her attention.

“If you don’t preach to me Jim, I won’t preach to you.” She glanced at the TV for the first time since she got there and scowled at the crap the other kids were watching. Shaking her head, she straightened the magazine out and began to read so she could try to ignore Jim. “And believe me, you don’t want me to preach my views. You won’t like it one bit.” From the corner of her eye, she saw him sigh and close his eyes.

“Are you always this stubborn?”

“Yup.” And René thought to herself, “Maybe that’s why no one really stays for very long.”

 

The ride home was somewhat peaceful. She sat up front with Jim and looked out the window at the many different houses and apartments that flew by. Since she was the last person to get picked up, she was supposed to be the last person get dropped off. This was the only reason she was allowed the front seat by the other teens. Once the van was empty of everyone else, Jim turned the radio to one of his favorite channels instead of the rap the kids listened to. René didn’t complain because it was a lot better than the rap and it didn’t make her feel as if she were going to vibrate to pieces. It took a little while before they reached her house but she didn’t mind. Yeah she wasn’t able to be with Kristen but then she also wasn’t in the middle of the drama. Surprisingly, she felt this rage against her mother that she couldn’t really explain. She had let men into their lives before and René had always been able to fend them off but Eric wouldn’t leave when she had wanted him to. She hadn’t meant to get close to him but once she had lived with him for a good four years, he had wormed his way in.

Arriving at her house, René opened the door to get out. A gentle hand held her back by her shoulder. “If you ever feel like talking, you know my number. Feel free to call.” René smiled and got out. She shut the door and walked up to her house without looking back but she knew he was still there waiting for her to get in safely before he drove off.

Walking through the front door, René was filled with dread. She didn’t want to see anyone, she just wanted to be alone. She knew she was being extremely selfish but she couldn’t really help it. Distancing herself from everyone always helped; at least it did in the past. She was halfway up the stairs when Shay called from the kitchen.

“Are you hungry? I made some Chinese fried rice.” As much as René loved her mother’s fried rice, she declined politely. She then locked herself in her room, turned her music on, and lost herself in her puzzle. A little after two in the morning René allowed herself to go to sleep. She looked at Lee’s bed and saw her sleeping soundlessly and wondered how she could sleep with the light on but didn’t think much of it. With the light out, René was engulfed in total darkness; the way she liked it. She crawled into bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

Reviews

[nono]

Really interesting! Being able to read this, before it's in the store! It's awesome! I love how much detail, and thought you seem to spend on it! This deserves to be a published book!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good chapter. A woman knows the child. I agree with the system. Most mother's have the heart and patience to raise their children. I like the ending conversation. People must stand their ground when they believe they are right. A excellent chapter.
Coyote