Chapter 1

Waking up the next morning was hard for René to do. Anxiety swarmed in her stomach and knotted everything up. She didn’t know what to expect when she went down stairs but she mustered up the courage and found herself sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee drowned in sugar and milk with one Chihuahua laying comfortably in her lap. She sniffled and held back the tears that threatened to consume her. A knock on the front door caused her to jump. She didn’t know who would be knocking on someone’s door that early in the morning but she went to answer it anyway.

          Opening the door, René’s heart found its way into her throat. There Eric stood, with Kristen standing next to him, on the other side of the bars. René glanced at him and hid every emotion she could behind a stone mask. She opened the grate and let them in. The moment Kristen was over the threshold, René picked her up and hugged her.

          “Sissy, you squishin’ me,” the little four year old said breathlessly. She wiggled in René’s grasp but René didn’t put her down. Fixing Kristen on her hip, René left Eric there to shut the door as she walked into the kitchen.

          “Are you hungry, baby?” René gently moved Kristen’s hair out of her eyes and kissed her on the forehead.

          “Yeah. I want Coco Puffs.” René giggled and tapped Kristen on the nose with her finger.

          “Coco Puffs it is,” and René went to work fixing breakfast. After Kristen was set up and satisfied with her cereal, René went into the foyer to find Eric still standing there by the door. She walked up to him, folded her arms across her chest and fixed him with a deadly stare.

          “Is Shay up yet?” He asked, looking around.

          “If she was, don’t you think you’d see her?” The hatred evident in René’s voice, Eric nodded once and stepped back.

          “May I come into the kitchen?”

          René moved her hands toward the door to the kitchen and the sound of a spoon hitting a bowl and said, “Sure, why not? Be my guest.” She watched him walk passed her and followed behind him. Once he was in the kitchen, Shay came out of the door adjoining her room to the kitchen and ruffled Kristen’s hair as she walked by. Glancing at Eric, Shay stirred non-dairy creamer and sugar into her cup of coffee. She then took her medications and sat across from Kristen. Eric took the chair at the head of the table and leaned back. Lee then joined them and made herself comfortable in the last chair available. The only person missing was Mommaw but they all knew she wasn’t going to show up unless some major yelling took place, and that wasn’t going to happen so long as Kristen was in the room.

          “As you now all know,” Eric began, looking at René, “your mother and I are having some difficulties-”

          “Bullshit, Eric,” Shay interrupted, “it’s more than just difficulties.” The pain in Shay’s voice caused René to get angry. Knowing Eric was the reason René’s mom was hurting just made things worse. “All this over a damn sharpie. And to think the way your idol treated your daughter is the least of your goddamn worries. Wolf had a damn rig in his bag of tattoo needles-”

          “He said it wasn’t his!” Eric almost yelled but then calmed down, noticing Kristen.

          “Oh, yeah,” Shay’s tone was laced with sarcasm and contempt, “like we all haven’t used that f****n’ excuse before!” René watched as they continued to argue in controlled pitches. When Kristen was finished with her cereal, René put the bowl in the sink and carried her up the stairs and into her room. Sitting on René’s bed, she and Kristen told stories of their time apart. When the clock read 9:30, René got dressed, still talking to Kristen, and then went back downstairs to see if everyone was ready for church. The voices in the kitchen were calmer, so René ventured in and asked if they were going to church. “Yeah. We’ll be ready in a minute.” Shay stood up and walked into her room. Eric almost followed but Lee and René both glared at him.

          Piling into the car and heading to their church under a bridge was so routine that René could almost believe nothing wrong was going on. After jumping the curb to park, Eric and Shay took Kristen to the Sunday service for children and left Lee and René to find seats. Once three seats were found, René left Lee to find Jim, the youth group leader, to see where they were going that afternoon and when to expect to be picked up. After she found him and received the information she needed, she weaved her way through many homeless people and hugged the people she recognized. Then, René settled herself in the rocks near one of the columns holding the bridge up. A few minutes later, Brother Jack and Sister Jill walked onto the make-shift stage and started the worship service. Never really believing in a God, René let her mind wander when Brother Jack began his preaching.

          Picking up a few rocks in her hands, René began to think about what was to come. She wondered if she’d be able to see Kristen again and if Eric knew enough about her to take care of her. René knew he didn’t really want Kristen. He didn’t even know her favorite color and food, how was he going to know the prayer she said before bed? Or which hand she wrote with? Or the fact that she needed routine or else she would have an anxiety attack and become violent? The fact that René knew he didn’t know how to be a father to her by himself scared her and she worried about Kristen’s welfare. What also bothered René was that Lee was heading off to college and wouldn’t be around anymore. René and Kristen were both getting used to the idea and Eric leaving just made it a lot harder to deal with.

          Half way through the sermon, René got up and stood in line to the brunch table the church always provided on Sundays. The warm bowl of chili comforted René in the sense of normality and after she ate it, she felt a little calmer and more at ease. The sense of tranquility didn’t last very long, though, no matter how much she fought for it to stay.

 

          After the service, René stood next to the rear car door waiting for Kristen to come out of the little trailer holding all the other little kids. Watching her little sister bounce around with a child-like joy softened René’s heart and made her smile for the first time that morning. Catching Kristen and swinging her in a circle, René marveled in her laughter. She put Kristen down and tousled her hair. Grinning at each other, they both climbed into the back seat of their mother’s beat up Hyundai, and raced to get their seat belts on. René let Kristen win and acted like she was upset that she lost but congratulated Kristen for winning. They tickled each other for a little while until René noticed Jim talking to Shay and occasionally looking in her direction.

          Shay turned around and met Lee on the way to the car. René watched as Shay handed Lee the car keys and pushed her toward the driver’s side. Kristen and René looked at each other with apprehension and tightened their seat belts. Glancing around, René noticed Eric wasn’t coming with them. He caught her looking and she quickly averted her gaze to Jim a few feet to Eric’s left.

 

          Back at the house and safely inside, René went to her room to work on her 1,000 piece puzzle laying on her floor. The two angels hovering over the firefighter’s shoulder from 9/11 were finished but the firefighter himself was incomplete. The sound of a soft pitter-patter caught her attention and Kristen dashed into the room and landed on René’s bed. René smiled and continued to work on the puzzle. After a while, Kristen joined her and tried to fit two pieces together that looked like they fit but didn’t. René laughed when Kristen threw the pieces down in frustration and folded her arms over her small chest, pouting. An hour or two later, Kristen was getting tired so René laid her down on her bed and covered her up. She then handed Kristen a stuffed bear and turned on the radio next to the puzzle. Within five minutes, Kristen was sound asleep and dreaming. René hoped her dreams were good and had nothing to do with what was happening around them.

          Glancing at the clock, René figured she would take a shower before she went to youth group around five. Taking one more look at Kristen and gently moving a few long blond strands of her hair off her face, René stepped into the upstairs bathroom and turned on the hot water. Brushing her hair, waiting for the water to get warm, René heard a soft tap on the bathroom door. She opened it and continued to run the brush through her hair as Shay walked in.

          “You going to youth group today?” Shay asked, taking a seat on the lid of the toilet.

          “Yeah,” she put the brush down and faced her mother, “Why didn’t you tell me? I asked over and over again if everything was ok and you kept telling me everything was fine. Did I not deserve the truth?” René kept her voice calm so she didn’t wake up Kristen. Shay fidgeted with her hands for a moment and then made eye contact.

          “I didn’t think you needed to know about it while you were visiting your dad.” She took René’s hand and rubbed her thumb over the back. “You needed to enjoy being with him, not worrying about what was going on here.”

          René nodded and slipped her hand out of her mother’s, “I need to take a shower. Kristen’s lying down in my bed.” Staring at Shay, René felt the urge to cry but she held back. She didn’t want to be cross with mother but she was angry and didn’t know how to get it out. Without argument, Shay walked out and shut the door. René was slightly surprised her mother didn’t stay to justify her actions like she normally would have done, but she brushed it to the side.

          Undressed and under the high pressured stream of the shower head, René relaxed and let the almost unbearable hot water roll over her. Coming home was nothing like she had thought. Soaking for a good fifteen minutes, she scrubbed down, drowned her hair in conditioner and soaked for another ten. Once cleaned and fresh, she dressed back into her jeans and T-shirt. She towel-dried her hair as much as she could and defogged the mirror before she swung her towel over the rung holding the shower-curtain up and exited in a cloud of steam. She took the stairs two at a time and shivered when she passed the window unit practically blowing snowflakes at her. She noticed the house was quiet, even for a Sunday, and found everyone in the living room, including Mommaw and Eric. Kristen sauntered over to her and hugged her leg and then Eric guided her to the kitchen for a drink.

“What’s going on?” René asked everyone in the room. Lee stood up and left to follow Eric. René tried to catch her eye but Lee refused to look at her. Dreading the answer, René looked back at Shay, hoping against hope it wasn’t what she thought it was. Her hopes were squished. “Oh, God. Momma no.” René shook her head and her chin began to quiver with the effort of holding back her tears. “No, no, no. Now? Please no.” Shay just looked at her with torment in her eyes.

“Go ask him,” was all she said.

René ran to the kitchen and forced Eric to look at her. “Is it true?” She watched him. There wasn’t any remorse, or any emotion at all, displayed on his face.

“I was going to tell you when you got back.”

Reviews

[nono]

Nice intense working it's way to the top, and falling back down! lol! I like it and I agree with coyote! Send the request this deserves to be read! hey wanna know something funny! My mom's names Renee though it's spelled with 2 e's lol! I like this though it's amazing, and so impressive, and really interesting!

[Coyote Poetry]

A lot of intense feeling in this chapter. To be in the middle of a battle of two people you care for leave no winners. A very nice pace. I like how you took the trip to the church and the discussion in the story. You left with a open ending. a very strong story. I will come back and finish. I'm on my pain in the butt 13 hours days at work. Please sent me read request.
Coyote