Where It All Began

MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! No one knows this part! lol Hope you enjoy, my readers!

            Kat Benson walked into the glass double doors of Barak High School and stepped into the office without even a whisper of her jeans. She strolled over to the secretary’s desk and cleared her throat quietly. A woman with dark, short, curly hair and thick glasses looked up from her computer screen and smiled sweetly.

            “May I help you, my dear,” she asked.

            Kat returned the smile, “Yes, m’am. I’ve just been transferred here from Jonston’s High and I was hoping to get my schedule.”

            The woman asked for her name and found what she was looking for when it was given.

            “Here you go. Will you need help getting around campus? Because I can assign you a chaperon to guide you to your classes,” she suggested.

            “I would appreciate that. Thank you.” Kat said as the woman picked up the phone after looking at Kat’s schedule and called a boy’s name over the PA system.

            A tall boy of about 15 came in and looked at Kat with his shining green eyes under pitch black bangs. She smiled a sweet smile at him as he introduced himself as Danny Jenkinson. For an instant, Kat felt like entangling her fingers in his shiny straight black hair, but she suppressed the urge as soon as it had arisen.

            “Hello Danny. I’m Kat and I’m obviously new. You wouldn’t mind escorting me around school would you?” Kat asked him politely before the secretary could ask for her.

            “It would be my pleasure.” He looked at the woman and asked if it was alright if he took Kat off her hands. She smiled and shooed them out of the office.

            As they were down the hall out of earshot, Kat started giggling. Danny turned quizzical eyes in her direction.

            “What’s so funny,” he asked with genuine curiosity.

            “You have her wrapped around your little finger. You could have asked her if we could skip class and she would’ve agreed,” she giggled some more. She glanced at him sideways and he joined her merriment for a little while but stopped when a tall, slender, red-haired girl entered the hallway. Kat heard him clear his throat and look down. She sensed an aura of superiority around the girl and watched her carefully as she made her way directly in their path. The girl sneered at Danny and turned her cold brown eyes on Kat.

            “Hello. I’m Don and this is,” she raised her arms, spread out her hands, and looked around, “is my school. Welcome.”

“Why, thank you, Don, for the welcome,” Kat pulled out her schedule and found her class, “but if you don’t mind, I have Biology class right now and you’re kinda standing in my way. Have a wonderful day.” Kat smiled innocently with a twinkle in her eye and brushed past Don without any effort. Don's eyes flashed and her demeanor changed to an almost hostile position. Kat paid her little attention and kept walking. A hand grabbed her shoulder and she instinctively wrapped her fingers around the wrist of the hand holding her. She spun around and in the same movement, forced the wrist in on itself, causing the victim to go to her knees.

"Don't..." Kat warned Don. Kat let go and took a deep breath. Don slowly got up and glared at Kat.

“I can sue you for that." She snarled, rubbing her wrist.

            “How about I sue you, stating it was self-defense and you were harassing me?” Kat suggested in a soft convincing voice. Don stiffened and mumbled something like, “That wouldn’t stand up in court” but Kat just laughed.

            “Danny, where’s the Biology room,” Kat asked. She turned to face him and he started walking in the direction of a door not far from where they stood. He entered the class room and motioned for her to follow. She closed the door behind herself and walked over to the teacher’s desk. He looked up at her from his paper work.

            “I’m Kat Benson. I’m new to your class. I apologize for being late,” she said politely.

            “Well, what are you waiting for? Sit down and read the chapters assigned,” he snarled.

            “I need a book first, sir.”

            “They’re over there,” he pointed with a pencil over to her right and went back to his paper work. She walked as quietly as she could to the bookshelf and picked up a copy of Biology Today! from amongst four others. She then very quickly and nonchalantly scanned the room while opening her book to the 13^th chapter. She began reading the “Introduction” to the chapter while she glided to the back of the room, avoiding bookbags. She was almost to the empty desk, when a boy’s foot came out in front of her and tried to trip her. She lifted her leg up a little higher and locked his leg between her two ankles. She twisted ever so slightly and he fell out of his chair. Everyone laughed as he picked himself up of the floor and she sat down behind him. She never lost her spot in her reading and was already starting the actual chapter.

            The rest of the class period was quiet and uneventful. She finished all five chapters and started doodling on the back of her schedule when the bell rang for the end of class. She looked up and realized the class consisted of only boys and she was the only girl. Everyone was putting the books back onto the shelf and exiting the room in a hurry, some had notes and the others looked tired. She waited until everyone had left before she went to ask the teacher if she could take the book home.

            “You should have finished the chapters in class Ms. Benson. When I assign something, I expect it to get done,” he sneered.

            “Oh, no, it’s not that. I did finish the chapters you wanted us to read. I was just wondering if I could read the chapters before thirteen,” she replied sincerely. He looked at her long and hard with a cold expression.

            “Don’t get your hopes up young lady. You will never pass my class. Women are not meant to know things men know and I will not have a girl pass a man’s subject. This is a man’s world and it’s not made for ladies,” he said clearly. Kat blinked, a little stunned, and stood there for a few minutes before she smiled.

            “I don’t have hopes Mr.-,” she looked at her schedule and found his name, “Ike. I only do my best and no one can tell me I’m a failure until I actually fail. If I do not pass your class, then I will take it again next year. It’s also not very inspiring when a person is told he or she is not going to make it in life,” Kat replied firmly but sweetly. Mr. Ike laughed and shook his head.

            “Make up the chapters in class next time.”He went back to grading papers. She placed the book back on its shelf and met Danny outside the room. They walked further down the hall and turned a corner where crowds of people rushed past. By that time, Kat’s shoulders were hunched over and her hands were in fists at her sides.

            “What an a*****e,” Kat fumed. She made a strangling sound and played it out with her hands. She simmered for a few more minutes before she realized Danny was smiling at her. She glared at him and almost pushed him into a group of unsuspecting girls.

            “He’s only an a*s to females, so don’t take it too personally,” Danny stated, looking at her wearily. She took a deep breath and forced it out. She smiled, trying to make her bad mood go away.

            “What do I have now,” she asked herself. She turned the piece of paper over and looked at the next subject in line.

            “Studies? What’s Studies?

            “It’s when we catch up on homework or study. It helps out if you have too much work to do. Are you good in math,” Danny asked. She looked at him quizzically and nodded.

            “I think so,” She replied.

            “Could you help with mine? See, I’m not very good in pre-cal and Mr. Stats gave us 93 problems.”

            “How many have you done?”

            Danny paused and looked down at his feet bashfully as they walked into the library.

            “None.”

            An embarrassed smile crossed his lips. Kat grinned and shook her head with a chuckle. She knew just how he felt. That’s the way she was with history. She always waited until the last minute to get things done. She had a feeling she already knew the answer but she had to ask anyway.

            “Ok. So, when is it due?”

            They stopped at an empty oak table next to a window back behind the history bookshelves. She noticed Danny remained silent a little too long and he kept fidgeting with the zipper of his bookbag.

            “Today,” he whispered. Kat paused for a moment before she laughed loud enough to startle a few students sitting three tables down.

            “Give it here,” she demanded and motioned with her hands to hand it over. She looked at all 93 problems and sighed when she noticed it was a variety from trig functions to completing the squares. This was up her alley and she went to work trying to teach him how to do them as best she could. When the bell finally rang for them to change classes, Danny had just finished problem 93 and put his pencil down with a sigh.

            “Now,” he paused for effect, “we go to pre-cal.”

            They both got ready to leave, Kat standing and stretching her aching muscles, and Danny putting his things back in his bookbag. The rest of the day was about the same. Kat ended up falling asleep in pre-cal with Mr. Stats’ droning voice in the background. She loved the English teacher, Mr. Scotty, because of his dry sense of humor. Coach Drone was a pain in her a*s but was bearable; she made Kat do a full physical exam from a six-minute mile to wall crunches, from 50 jumping-jacks to 20 push-ups. Then there was second lunch and the dreaded cafeteria with other students who judged her. Thankfully, Danny sat with her, even though it wasn’t his lunch period. She only had two classes left and they were her two favorite classes: art and American History. When the bell rang, again, for the end of lunch, Danny walked her to the art room and introduced her to the art instructor, Mr. Bais.

            “But you can call me Al,” he said while shaking Kat’s hand, “We’re going to sculpt today but since you are new and you don’t have a sketch-”

            “Oh, I have tons of those Mr. Bais-” he raised an eyebrow, “I mean Al. I can show you some.”

            Danny quickly excused himself and told Kat he’d meet her at the end of class before he stepped out of the room to rush to his next class.

            “Well,” Al clapped his hands twice, “we have work to do class. This-” he

put his hands on Kat’s shoulders, “-is Kat Benson. She is new and you will make her feel at home.”

            The last few words he said in an unarguable tone while looking at a red-haired girl at the back of the class. The redhead smiled and glanced at Kat.

            “Ok, Kat,” he turned his attention to her, “what have you got for me? Hmm?”

            She turned away from the class and pulled out a picture of Mr. Scotty from her pocket that she had sketched in his class. Al took it and examined it through his eye glasses with close scrutiny. He tilted it one way, turned it another, and looked through one eye and then the other. Kat’s expression went from curiosity to bewilderment when Al handed the drawing back without so much as a word. His expression was smooth but his eyes held an emotion she didn’t recognize as he studied her. His face lit up with laughter at the extent of her discomfort.

            “Great sketch,” he chuckled, “Go get some clay and you may begin.”

            Kat stood there dumbfounded for a moment before she did as she was told. She found a stool near the back corner and got busy making the clay flexible in her hands as she studied her model picture for ever manageable detail. She began to whisper instructions to herself while folding the clay in her warm hands. About thirty minutes passed and her hands had already created a form slight resembling a human being. Her fingers were mending the miniature Mr. Scotty’s back into a comfortable slouch, when a shadowed figure came up to her side. The figure stood there for a moment as Kat’s fingers then added some legs to the torso.

            “Hello, Kat,” a squeaky unpleasantly high pitched voice that made Kat cringe said, tearing Kat from her zone. She didn’t put her clay model down but continued to

look busy.

            “Hi.”

            “I’m Julie Lee,” she introduced herself with a flash of her pearly whites.

            “Uh-huh,” Kat continued to appear busy with her figurine. Julie Lee sat down next to her and leaned in closely to her.

            “You may be new; you may be Al’s new favorite, but you will give me the respect I deserve,” she whispered dangerously, her eyes flashing in anger.

            “I don’t owe you any respect just yet, Julie Lee, but when I do, you will have it. But you have interrupted my relaxation and I am just a little peeved at that. Now if you can wait ten minutes, I’ll be more than happy to chat,” Kat paused for a moment, seeing a crack in Mr. Scotty’s head and fixed it, “Oh, by the way, I love your hair. It’s artistically bright. Did you dye it?”

Julie’s eyebrows went up with the compliment and her demeanor changed from the hostile slouch to a proud, arrogant air.

            “No, it’s not. It’s natural.” Her head went up and she looked down her nose at Kat and flipped her hair over her shoulder. Kat smiled as she thought, She is just too easy. She stood her little person up, wiped her hands on a paper towel at her side, and faced Julie.

            “Now, we can talk,” she said.

            “Oh! Um… Uh, yeah… So, this is Barak High, a small town as you can see, and it’s like a little family. If you ever feel like talking or sharing some news,” -apparently she didn’t know ‘talking’ and ‘sharing some news’ were the same thing-, “feel free to come to me or Don.”

            Kat smiled without meaning but Julie hadn’t noticed and continued to chat about everything and everyone. Kat had tuned her out by that time and was thinking about Danny. She saw his green eyes, black hair, and sweet smile in her mind’s eye. She wanted to play with the silky strands of hair, to entangle her fingers through it, press her lips to his"

“" and Danny! I can’t believe they stuck you with him! He’s so rude and immature.

He can’t do anything right,” she took a breath to continue but Kat intercepted.

            “What’s wrong with Danny? He seemed nice to me.”

“He’s ugly! My God girl! Do I need to give you the run down on all the dateable guys? There are guys you can and cannot date. And he’s one of the ones you can’t. Got it?”

“But why,” Kat inquired with sincere curiosity. Julie huffed and folded her arms over her curvy chest.

“He’s just off limits, ok?” The defensiveness and sternness in her voice made Kat even more curious as to the reason why he was basically an untouchable. The bell rang for the ninth time that day, ending the class. Everyone rushed out except Kat. She stayed behind to clean up her table. She was wiping it down when Al came over.

“Watch yourself with her. She’s not the nicest of people,” he warned.

“Oh, don’t worry. She’s not as bad as Don.”

“You’d be surprised. Don is straight forward, Julie isn’t. She’ll stab you in the back as soon as it’s turned, and you’ll be none the wiser.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Kat threw away the paper towel littered with wasted smears and specks of clay. Kat glided out the door and met Danny in the hallway. They walked in silence for a while.

“You’re quiet,” Danny commented.

“Yeah,” she paused, undecided, “Julie told me you were off limits in the dating field. Why’s that? And she was so defensive about it too.”

Danny laughed and it was like a melody to Kat’s ears.

“They think I’m gay.”

“Are you?”

“Nope. I just won’t date these people. They’re all fake.”

“Oh,” she smiled, secretly relieved, “A reasonable reason.”

“Here’s history. Ms. Fathom is a wonderful teacher. You won’t have much to do today. We’re having a test.”

Kat watched as Danny strolled smoothly into the darkly lit room and took a seat at the back of the class while other students filed in. She followed him and sat in the chair next to his at the two-chair table. The other students paired up with each other and took their seats. A hefty woman burst in through the door carrying a stack of papers in one hand a a book in the other.

“How are we today, class,” she chimed in a smooth, motherly tone. Her hair was long, dark and curly. She wore wire rimmed glasses that hid her caramel-brown eyes, and even though she was big, she moved with a flawless grace. She scanned the room with a quick glance and paused on Kat.

“Oh! New student,” She motioned for Kat to come to the front, “Come here, child. Introduce yourself. You don’t just walk into someone’s house unannounced do ya?”

As she swiftly and soundlessly made her way to the front of the classroom, she realized everyone in there were also in all her other classes except P.E. and  art. This is a really small school, she thought. When she made it to the front of Ms. Fathom, she felt small and insignificant.

“And you must be Kat,” her lips parted in a smile that reached her eyes, “Welcome to my class. Could you do me a favor and pass a test out to everyone? I would gladly appreciate it.” She held out the papers still in her hand and Kat took them. She passed them out and shuffled back to her chair next to Danny. About thirty minutes later, Danny turned in his test. When he sat back down, Kat noticed a folded up piece of paper next to her hand. She silently unwrapped it and read a note:

Can you hang out with me after school?

She smiled, thinking how much Monica, her new foster mom, would be pissed at her for not coming straight home. She scribbled a quick yes and slid it back. She yawned and looked down to see the note back in front of her.

How do you like Barak High? Is it better than your last school?

She had to think before she wrote:

It seems ok. Some people I don’t particularly care for. A school is a school. Nothing’s    really different, except it’s a hell of a lot smaller. How long have you been here?

 They continued this pattern of conversation for a little while until Danny asked:

 What are your parents like?

              She blinked at this and tried to keep a straight face, but she could tell he already knew he had asked the wrong question. She was saved by the last bell of the day. She waited for him to get his things together before she headed to the door. She heard him shuffle up beside her as she made her way to the nearest door leading outside.

              “Hey, wait up. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just"”

              “It’s not that. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted that way,” she kicked aside an empty can of soda and dug her hands into her pockets and whispered, “I just don’t have any.”

              She watched him from the corner of her eye, expecting to see him snicker or smirk at her but he didn’t. She gathered some courage and met his gaze. She stared in wonder at his green eyes and the way they grew lighter when the sun caught them. He rested his hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed reassuringly.

              “I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t,” he looked away, passed all the people, and all the way down the street, “So, you still want to hang out? There’s a place down the street that serves some really good coffee and cookies.”

              “Are they chocolate chip cookies?”

              “You bet!” His smile lightened up her mood and caused her to smile back. They talked all the way to the little coffee shop down the street and Kat felt relaxed for the first time in years.

Author's Note

Finished typing it!!! I will start typing the next chapter. ^_^

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this girl. She is very smart and can control a situation. A very good chapter. I like how she was kind enough to help with the math. A excellent chapter.
Coyote

[WayOath]

Agreed, the two writers with the beef need to keep it between eachother. But onward with the review. This chapter told so much in it's length. The first day of school, hell for most, but for Kat...that girl can handle anything. I love how that guy tried to trip her and failed...miserably. The character you have build around Kat is marvelous and most of all, sarcastic. I love her. Everyone needs a girl like that in their life. This chapter gave a ton of insight on your characters and you did a great job writing it. Would love to read more!

[WriterSki7]

Eh, if two writers here have a problem do NOT bring it up on a review.

To my knowledge all numbers are to be written out. Do not use arabic numerals (1,2,3,4,5 and the like; albeit it seems very easy to do so). This was a rather good chapter. Needs improvement, but I think AJ and James have covered enoguh for now (that I can think of).

Matter of fact, I'll probably be using some of their tips myself.

[AJChallenger]

James is a fool. Anything under 10 you spell, after that you use the number. That is correct format. Again, James is an idiot. Don't listen to anything he says.

Show, don't tell. You're first two pagraphs are an example of this.

Kat Benson just arrived at her new high school. This wasn’t the first time she was transferred to another school. Actually she was quite used to it now. This was her fifteenth foster home since her parents’ deaths when she was four.
She walked into the glass double doors of Barak High School and stepped into the office without even a whisper of her jeans. She strolled over to the secretary’s desk and cleared her throat quietly. A woman with dark, short, curly hair and thick glasses looked up from her computer screen and smiled sweetly.

Don't tell us all that in the first paragraph, slowly seed it into the story, though conversation, actions, etc. Don't juts tell us. It's also best no to just flat out tell us what someone looks like. Have the lady playing with her dark hair, have her take off and clean her glasses. Don't just tell us.

“May I help you, my dear,” she asked.

That is a horrible dialogue tag. Don't ever say "She asked, she yelled, she cried." Etc. We should be able to tell be the tone of the dialogue or the conversation if it is question, statement, exclamation etc.


Kat returned the smile, “Yes, m’am. I’ve just been transferred here from Jonston’s High and I was hoping to get my schedule.”

That is not a dialogue tag. That is a sentence. A dialogue tag is showing something is being said, not a sentence with a comma before or someone speaks.


Here you go. Will you need help getting around campus? Because I can assign you a chaperon to guide you to your classes,” she suggested.


Again, don't do that. have the woman pick up a phone. Try something like this.

"Here you go, will you need help getting around campus?" Ms. Benson (I just made up the name) picked up the phone and punched in a few numbers. "I'll assign a chaperon to show you to your--yes? Hello, this is Ms. Benson, send Billy Brown to the office, please." She hung up the phone and smiled. "Someone will be here in just a minute."

See what I mean?

Don't do that little italic thing, either. Just write it out, we should be able to tell if it's a thought or a note by the way you describe it.

I didn't read thsi all, just the first half or so. Use my advice and I'll go over it again. You've improved a bit, but there is still a long way to go.

Again, don't listen to James. He is full of s**t.

[Levioshock]

very nice!

[James Watts]

A tall boy of about 15 came in and looked at Kat with his shining green eyes under pitch black bangs.(A tall boy of about fifteen came in and looked at Kat with his shining green eyes under pitch black bangs.)

“Hello Danny. I’m Kat and I’m new. ( “Hello, Danny. I’m Kat and I’m new. )

“Hey, wait up. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just"”( “Hey, wait up. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just...”)

This is not bad work at all. One thing I advise is that on numbers. Anything under one hundred I would spell out. Two of my major nitpicks you have avoided well. First, I saw no multiple quotations, A+ on that lol. And Second, I didn't see an overabundance of the -ly adverb. Those tricky devils will lure you in with their wiles. They weaken prose. Some will always be necessary, but most can be omitted or the sentence reworded to weed them out. And they should never be tagged to dialogue.
This was fine work and I am impressed. It flowed well, the characters all seemed to have a place and the dialogue was believable. The imagery was just right, not too much and not too little. Nice work.

[James Watts]

Not bad start. I didn't see any major issues. A few typos but not much to worry over right now. Nice work.