Again?

You asked for a second chapter and here it is lol.

            “You’re late, Sam,” the a*s of a boss said. “How many more times are you going to be late?” I quickly put on my apron and took out my notepad and pen. I glanced at him and didn’t bother to explain until he stood in my way.

            “There was traffic,” I bit down on the back of my pen, “It’s not like I could make everyone move.” And with that I went straight to taking orders. One of my regulars walked in and waved at me after sitting down at one of the booths. “May I take your order today, Mike?” I couldn’t help but smile. He was just so damned cute with his too long black hair and clear gray eyes.

            “I would like my usual, please,” he looked around to the woman sitting in front of him, “and I think she wants the famous Bulgarian waffle.”

            “Oooh, wonderful choice,” I wrote down everything, “They make’em huge here.” I whispered. “Ok, so you’re having the two sunny-side-up eggs with hash browns, bacon, and rye toast,” I turned to the pretty brunette, “and you’re having the Bulgarian waffle. Would y’all like anything else with that? A cup of coffee, milk, juice, or soda?”

            “I’ll have some OJ if you’ve got any,” the woman said.

            “And I’ll take the coffee,” Mike smiled.

            “Sure thing.” I yelled out the order to the cooks in the back and put the piece of paper on the order wheel. A few minutes later, the whole restaurant was packed full of newcomers and regulars, all having a wonderful time. I was rushing around trying to take orders and get the food to everyone within a reasonable amount of time. It’s amazing how fast time flies when you’re busy. Kinda scary when you realize five hours have already gone by when you thought it was just two hours. But that only meant my shift was almost over. Which made me really happy until Jim crossed my mind. I had almost forgotten about him because of how busy everything was but once everything slowed down close to three in the morning, I couldn’t get him off my mind. Just the thought that he now knew where I lived was frightening.

            I was gonna have to move all over again just to get away from him… again. Didn’t he understand I didn’t want to be around him anymore? Why did he have to make things worse? I was getting along fine without him, and now he was back with a bad attitude. Ugh. Just one of my worst days, or nights for most. And get this--I had to walk home. I didn’t make enough tips to take a taxi. So every sound I heard and every shadow I saw, I thought was him. It didn’t help that I had acute hearing and seeing. But what the worst part was, I smelled him. Almost like he was right next to me… But he wasn’t. That’s what unnerved me the most. I couldn’t see him, but I could smell him. Which meant he was following me or he had already walked this path. Which led me to believe he knew where I lived. Then it donned on me. Jessica was at the apartment. What if he caught her and used her against me? What if he was there waiting? Was she ok? Was Justin ok?

            I took off running as fast as I could, my breath puffing in the air as little white clouds. I got to the apartment and his smell was strong. And he wasn’t normal either. Like, not normal at all. There are all types of normal for regular humans but for us, normal is turning into a huge furry snarling beast of strength, speed, and bloodlust… And he was my kind of normal.

            I hurriedly unlocked the door and rushed in. My nerves were going crazy and twitchy. I just wanted to make sure Jessica and Justin were ok, but they were nowhere in the apartment… My frantic search of the apartment brought up a little note on the fridge in Jessica’s handwriting:

            I went over to Ken’s house for the night. I left some breakfast foods in the fridge if you care to have it and there’s a new movie in the DVD player if you want to watch it. It’s really good. I recommend it. I hope your day was ok and not too terrible. See you tomorrow when I get back.

                        Love,

                        Jessica & Justin

 

            Relief washed through me. Jessica was spending the weekend with her boyfriend and Justin wasn’t going to be in harm’s way. I relaxed a little and searched the house once more to make sure no one was there that didn’t belong. Then, I decided it was time for a bath. Not a shower--oh no--but a warm, bubbly bath full of salts and oils to take the tension out of me. Jim’s smell dissipated slowly but not enough for me to close both the bathroom doors. With all the lights down low, I slid my aching body into the wonderfully hot water and sank down to my nose. Only my head and my toes peaked out of the bubbles. It felt sooo good. The smells of the oils and the salts steaming off the water sent me into a deep doze.

 

I heard music; soft, classical music. I tried to sit up, to find out where the music was coming from, but slumped back down as my head throbbed. What did I hit my head on? I wondered, as I tenderly slid my fingers over my scalp. A huge knot throbbed at the back of my head, a little on the left side. Confusion and fear started to settle in, as I realized I wasn’t at home with my parents. In fact, I wasn’t even on a bed. The cold floor beneath me was dotted with tiny droplets of water as if it had been submerged in a fog. I reached out and ran my hand over the droplets, letting them accumulate on my shaking hand.

            I started to remember what happened. It was all a blur of confusion and colors unknown to my senses. Sorrow engulfed my heart; I knew now. I didn’t want to remember, but my mind kept the memory streaming through my consciousness. I tried to block it with all my might"fighting back tears and screams as horror filled me.

            I lay, screaming uncontrollably, on the hard, wet concrete as realization donned on me. I lay paralyzed by terror, even as the man burst into the room. I lay, forever traumatized, in the clutches of a--

 

            I shot up out of the tub, cascading water all over the floor as a wolf howled near my apartment. I stood there shaking, despite the hot water dripping down my body and the steam filling the room. I shook myself of the memory and started dabbing myself dry. Every hair on my body stood on end as another howl, closer this time, sounded just outside my door. I felt the calling, the need to join in the hunt, the need to feel hot blood gushing down my throat from a rabbit or deer. My skin began to crawl in anticipation, slowly moving, gliding over as the fur tried to spill over my body. I doubled over, groaning, not wanting to let the wolf run free; not wanting to lose control. Searing, hot pain laced its way through my body, slowly following every nerve so they felt on fire. My front door banged open, but I didn’t comprehend, my mind was reeling from too much pain. Choking back screams of misery, I lay in the fetal position on my side. There he was crouching beside me, like he always did in my moments of pain.

            “You haven’t come out to play in a while, Sam,” Jim whispered, reaching out to touch me.

            “Don’t touch me,” I snarled in disgust, much like a wolf. My teeth were bared in defiance and hatred.

            “How often do you run?” His fingers trailed down my back, causing more pain than it should have. “Hm? How long has it been?” A gurgling moan escaped my slightly parted lips as he pulled my head back by my hair. “Just one more time. For old time’s sake,” he said, staring me down like any alpha would to a pup.

            “Never again,” I threw myself at him will all my strength, “you a*****e!” As he lay sprawled out on the floor, I jumped for the door. I landed on all fours with a howl of freedom echoing through the night sky. 

Author's Note

Yes, you may critique my use of grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation. You may also critique the chapter itself ^_^. Thank you for any reviews.

Reviews

[Eidolon Michael]

I really enjoyed reading this ^-^ It leaves me wondering what's going to happen next and I love the flashbacks and the narrative of the main character. It flows so well that it's like watching a television show in book form, which is probably how all books are supposed to be, so you did a fantastic job. I'm looking forward to what's next!!

[Tala]

"He was just so damned cute with his too long black hair and clear gray eyes." - maybe a bit purposely-not-outright-description but it's not bad and I dunno how else you'd do it.
"he looked around to the woman sitting in front of him" the around is a bit null and void, maybe ditch it.
"make’em" there should be a space between unless that's purposeful dialect stuff which is likely from "y'all" but just thought I'd say.
" I had almost forgotten about him because of how busy everything was but once everything slowed down close to three in the morning, I couldn’t get him off my mind" Wee bit wordy, maybe paraphrase slightly but it's actually alright.
"And get this-" wee bit colloquial and massive change to narrative compared to the rest of the chapter.
"donned" is "dawned" unless that's an american thing.
"gliding over as the fur tried to spill over my body. I doubled over" Way too much over

Really good though, those are all just minor wee things that, in all honest, you could easily ignore and it'd still be pretty good. I really like the internalizing and the flashback was pretty good. If you want to do some research on flashback structures look up "The Trick is to Keep Breathing" by Janice Galloway. Her books are godawful plot-wise but the structure's really interesting. Really great start though, keep me posted.

[YouoweYoupay]

That was... weird. Well, you did a good job at capturing and holding my attention, all the way until the howling. I liked the flow of events, the dream-reality confusion, the blurs the images, and the emotions. You conveyed them very well. But I just didn't like how the chapter ended. Maybe it's because I've gone through many werewolf fiction 'especially Twilight'. Keep writing though. Thanks for sharing.

-youoweyoupay

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the set-up of the chapter. The introduction of her work and describing the location gave strength to the main character. A action filled ending to the chapter. Thank you for sharing the excellent chapter.
Coyote