unfinished young adult relationship story

young adult relationship story. hilarity will ensue

Yesterday

Wendy jumped into the Eric’s black Jeep Cherokee through the passenger door.

“Hi baby!” Wendy squeaked enthusiastically. She then leaned over and gave him a hug. “I missed you.”

“Hey Wendy,” said Eric smiling. He could not stop himself from smiling when he was around her. He would actually get sharp pains in his face from grinning so much. “Why are you so excited to see me? I saw you just last night.” Wendy's excitement to hang around Eric never diminished. No matter how little time they spent apart, she always greeted Eric as if they had not seen each other in years. Eric loved Wendy’s enthusiasm but sometimes pretended that he didn’t.

“Oh, why are you so excited we just saw each other last night?” Wendy imitated Eric sarcastically. “Don’t lie. You know you missed me.”

Wow, how did I score such a perfect girl, Eric thought as he started to drive away from Wendy’s house.  Maybe I don’t have to tell her. I don’t want to ruin us.

“C’mon, I know you missed me,” Wendy said waiting for a response.

“Nope.” Wendy stared him down and Eric gave in. “Yes, of course I did.”

“Good! Because I missed you so so much,” she said before giving him another hug.

Within three months of their relationship, Eric and Wendy had decided that they would eventually get married. They never fought and always enjoyed each other’s company; most people found it bizarre. After nearly three years, Eric still had no idea why a girl like Wendy would want to be with him. In Eric’s eyes, he did not have much to offer; he went to community college and was studying to be a paleontologist.

Many young boys have an infatuation with dinosaurs, but that love eventually fades as they get older. However, Eric’s boyhood love for dinosaurs never faded. He owned several Discovery Channel DVD’s on dinosaurs and all three Jurassic Park movies; he has watched each over a hundred times, yes, he actually counted. His brain contained so much dinosaur information, it could make a super computer jealous of its' memory space. One of Eric’s favorite pastimes was to rattle off knowledge from his plethora of dinosaur facts; some people politely listened, few actually enjoyed it, however most had the reaction of confusion.

Even though Eric knew paleontologists made small salaries, he still had no doubts on his career choice. Well, maybe he had one: that Wendy would not want to marry him because he would be making less than $50,000 a year. Wendy was so gorgeous, that she could get any guy that she wanted, but for some reason she was alright with settling down with Eric. She could have a boyfriend studying to be a doctor or a lawyer, but Wendy chose Eric and loved him for who he was: a dino dork.

As per weekly tradition, Eric and Wendy were on their way to purchase Subway sandwiches and then have a picnic at the top of Sand Canyon, which overlooked the suburb they lived in. It was there that Eric would tell her.

 

 

 

 

Walnuts

 

Eric and Wendy drove in silence. A single sound had not been released from Wendy since she entered the car. Wendy was still mad at him from what he told her yesterday; she was practically steaming over it. They had been boyfriend and girlfriend for 2 years, 8 months, and 12 days. Wendy was 20 and Eric was 19.

Constantly, Eric mocked Wendy for taking advantage of him because he was younger than her. He also enjoyed reminding her how good it felt to be a teenager. In reality, Wendy was not much older than Eric. According to Wendy’s count, she was exactly 11 months and 19 days older, not even an entire year. However, this minimal difference in age did not stop Eric from calling Wendy a cougar.

Tonight, Wendy and Eric were on their way to Linda’s house. For fifteen years, Linda and Wendy had been best friends. From Linda’s house, the three of them would go to Mikala’s house. Then the foursome of Eric, Wendy, Linda, and Mikala would depart for The Celestial, the small, slightly dirty, music venue. Linda knew several members of the different bands that were performing tonight, by way of making out with them. Mikala came solely to meet guys that were in bands, hoping to get to know them using the same method Linda did.

The Black Jeep Cherokee sped along the 405 freeway passing through the San Fernando Valley. Eric looked to his right at Wendy. As usual, she looked really beautiful. He thought everything about Wendy was perfect. She was 5’4”, the perfect height, had long, dirty blonde hair, the perfect hair, and soft, pale, white skin, which to Eric, was also perfect. She looked like the innocent girl next door and she possessed the sweetest personality to fit with her angelic appearance.

At the moment though, she looked very angry. She sat with her arms crossed, peering straight forward without blinking. Wendy wore a fractious face. Even with her visible fury that was directed all at him and purely driven by his stupidity, he still could not ignore her allure. Eric thought he would never take his gaze off of her, until another beauty entered his field of vision: the Budweiser Beer factory that was right next to the freeway.

Eric quickly switched his focal point to the majestic building and it took his full attention; Wendy was not even in his peripheral anymore. He always dreamed of entering the factory. Curiously, he wondered if it was run by Oompa Loompas like in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Little tiny plump men singing, while making the most delicious golden liquid called Beer. To Eric, it sounded like it would be a wonderful place. He would love to drink beer all day with the Oompa Loompas and play strange beer games that only Oompa Loompas would know. The Loompas would of course have their own spin on traditional beer games like beer pong and when Eric would try to tell them that this is not the proper way to play the game, the Loompas would respond, “no silly we are playing with Loompa rules, not regular, everyday people rules.” After hearing this, Eric would understand that, of course they would play with Loompa rules (after all they were in the Budweiser factory). Instantly, he would feel stupid for trying to correct them. Eric had many daydreams about life with the Loompas.

Ever since he had his first full beer at the tender age of thirteen, Eric was in love. Eric even subscribed to draft magazine and received new exotic beers through the magazine weekly. Dutifully, he had saved his money all year for a trip to Germany next year to attend the biggest drinking event in the world: Oktoberfest. Even though Eric drank enough beer to get a horse drunk for days, he maintained a slender body type. He was a physiological anomaly. Eric always attributed his non-beer belly to the fourteen push-ups he does before going to bed every four to seven weeks.

Suddenly, Eric heard screaming. It was Wendy’s voice. He snapped out of his deep thought and looked to Wendy who was yelling something at him. Frantically, he turned his head to the wind shield and saw a traffic jam of cars 90 feet in front of him. Eric now understood she was yelling “Slow down you walnut!” The jeep was going seventy-nine miles per hour and there was no way it would stop in time. Instinctively, Eric swerved to the lane on his left which was the car pool lane. Luckily, the carpool lane was not stuffed with traffic and he was able to avoid a devastating car crash. However, in the process, he did cut off the car next to him. The driver that Eric cut off then began to tailgate the jeep and irritatingly held down his horn. 

“What in the world were you doing!?” Wendy yelled.  “Pay attention!”

“I’m sorry,” Eric responded laughing. “I was mesmerized by your beauty.” Eric thought it was hilarious that Wendy hated cussing, so instead of using a foul word, she substituted them for other words, like walnut.

“That or you were having another one of your best buddy Oompa Loompa Budweiser fantasies!” Damn she was good. “You nearly killed me twice just now! The crash definitely would have killed me and you almost killed me again by giving me a heart attack when you pulled that Vin Diesel Fast and the Furiousesque move into the carpool lane. The car you cutoff is still honking at us! Plus you broke like eight traffic laws in the process and you know how much I hate breaking rules!”

Eric missed every part of this rant except for the part when she said he was like Vin Diesel, which instantly made him feel cool. Eric chuckled, “You have to admit that was kind of exhilarating. In like 36 minutes you will look back at this and laugh.”

“No I will not. I almost died. I won’t look back at this and laugh in 36 minutes or 36 hours or 36 days or 36 weeks or…”

“I get it you will never look back at this and laugh.”

“Gosh Eric, you are being such a pickle.”

Eric stopped talking. Wendy’s least favorite food was a pickle. Plus, a pickle is shaped like a certain part of the male anatomy that is often used as an insult. Wendy rarely used this pseudocurse word. With only one hand, he could count the number of times she used it, because she had only used it two times. Once, she used it in high school when she got an A on her math test and Blake King put up his hand to give her a high five, but instead of giving her a high five, he put his hand through his hair. Blake was officially placed on her black list after that moment; he stood alone on that list, at least until yesterday. An uncooperative vending machine caused the second pickle-insult incident. After a long run, Wendy was craving a diet pepsi; unfortunately, when she inserted her dollar, the machine spit out a water instead. She hates water.  According to her, "why would I want to drink something that tastes like nothing?" Eric felt bad for that vending machine; it got the double pickle insult. Wendy literally yelled, “You double pickle!”

The car that was cutoff still held a continuous horn and tailgated the jeep for a good full minute before it switched over to the next lane, cutting off Eric’s car while the driver flipped the jeep his middle finger.

“You are such a walnut,” Wendy sighed.

 

Sixteen minutes later, Eric merged onto the Interstate 101 freeway and was only seven exits away from their intended destination. Eric had been to shows like this before with Wendy and Linda; he thought these shows were boring and predictable. The venue would be filled with screaming girls and guys sporting bizarre hair styles, wearing skinny girl pants, and nodding their heads to the music. At every show, Linda spent all night trying to get the attention of one of the band players. When her plan did not work, she would end up crying for a while before settling for another guy in the band, and then proceed to make out with him. During shows, Wendy would stand in front of Eric hugging him with her head buried in his chest. Other than having Wendy clinging to him, the best part of these shows was the free beer Wendy got him.

Wendy was a beautiful girl. Not only to Eric. She attracted many different guys who tried to court her by buying her an alcoholic beverage. Kindly, Wendy would accept these drinks and soon after, shoot them down by telling them that she had a boyfriend. Per show, she received about five drinks, which all went to Eric.

Sadly, Eric expected he would acquire zero drinks from Wendy tonight. Then, a disturbing thought came into his mind: what if when a guy bought her a drink, instead of rejecting him, she accepted the drink and flirted with him? Two days ago, this idea would have been unthinkable, but by the way Wendy was acting, it seemed totally possible. On that note, Eric’s stomach began to feel queasy.  His head felt light and his vision began to blur. Eric pictured Wendy talking to a faceless guy at the venue. They were both laughing hysterically at something very clever that faceless guy said. Faceless guy was so witty. How could Eric compete with that? Eric was having a mini panic attack. Thankfully, for Eric’s and Wendy’s sake, it did not last long as he quickly snapped out of it when he heard Wendy’s voice. 

“Our exit is coming up in 1/3 of a mile…horseradish sauce,” said Wendy throwing another pesudoinsult his way.

“I know, I know,” Eric replied. “And hey can you stop calling me such mean names.” As juvenile as these insults were, Eric was not used to getting insulted by Wendy and it was starting to take a toll on him.

“Well if you know, why are you all the way in the carpool lane?…. You hot dog without ketchup”

Eric instantly smiled when he heard this insult; he thought back to their conversation yesterday.

“I can’t believe you used that as an insult,” said Eric.

“What? Hot dog without ketchup? You know how much I loathe a hot dog without ketchup. We have already had this discussion before. I thought that was a good insult,” said Wendy while grinning.

“I can’t believe you would rather eat cottage cheese topped with mustard and pineapples?”

Wendy smiled wide because she knew that would be a horrible mixture of food and she would never eat anything like that. She was a very picky and particular eater. Wendy loved to eat and like Eric she was a physiological anomaly because she could eat a lot of food. One time, she out ate Eric’s 260lb friend Richie at Hometown Buffet and still had room in her stomach for frozen yogurt after they left the restaurant.

“…Shut up,’” she said in response still smiling wide. Eric loved her smile. It was the first time he had seen her smile since she started hating him yesterday. He missed that smile. Wendy realized this too, so she put her infuriated face back on. Smoothly, Eric moved over the necessary lanes, without cutting anyone off, and exited the freeway on Shoup Avenue. They arrived at Linda’s house moments later.

 “Linda,” Wendy yelled as she knocked on the door.

Twelve seconds later, Linda arrived at the front door. She greeted Wendy with a hug and then turned to Eric and greeted him by calling him an a*****e. Linda had no problems using foul language and actually reveled in it when it was appropriate.  Apparently, Wendy told Linda yesterday's announcement. Linda and Eric usually got along very well, but if Linda knew Eric’s secret, he would expect to be treated like a bum begging for drugs for the remainder of the night. While Linda held the front door open, Wendy walked into the house. Eric moved forward to enter the house, but Linda shut the door in his face.

There is a song by the Black Eyed Peas called “I Got a Feeling” that always gets Eric in the mood to have a good night. The events that just occurred were like the anti-I-Got-a-Feeling.

Eric sighed, “Tonight is not going to be a good night.”

Opening the door himself, Eric entered the house. Right of the doorway was the living room, which held a fourty inch tv and two brown, pull-out couches. The compact house had a small kitchen, two bedrooms, and one and a half bathrooms. All of the rooms were painted in widely different colors, even the hallway contained three different colors.  Wendy liked to joke that Henry, Linda's dad, supported UCLA because he painted his living room golden yellow and baby blue. It was merely a coincidence that he chose these colors, but Wendy claimed it was a subconscious choice to root for the best school ever.

 

He heard Linda say to Wendy, “You know, I could have picked you up and then we could have spent the night without drinkasaurus jerkoff.”

Eric assumed that she was talking about him. 

“Hey Linda, it’s nice to see you too,” commented Eric. “I like the nickname you gave me. Nice use of alliteration.”

“It wasn’t an alliterative phrase,” replied Wendy.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was,” Eric responed.

“No, it wasn’t.”

“I think it was.”

“I didn't use alliteration,” snapped Linda. “Alliteration is when the beginning of the words make similar sounds, you doucheasaurus dookie digesting drunk.”

“Aw, so good use of alliteration on that last one,” Eric said while giving an awkward smile. 

Linda ignored him. Lazily, Wendy and Linda were sitting next to each other on the couch that ran parallel with the TV. A DVD of Entourage was playing on the screen. Eric, Wendy, and Linda had watched every season three times and would even dedicate entire days to watching a full season. They called these days Entourage Days because they could not think of a better name for them.

“Awww, Entourage,” Eric said as he sat down on the other couch. As soon as Eric sat down, Wendy got off the couch and announced that she needed to pee. Linda and Eric sat in an uncomfortable silence.

The silence was broken by a sudden outburst by Linda, “Why did you have to go and mess it all up!?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

any feedback would be great (appreciation, constructive criticism, etc.)! Ok so when I was writing the story I highlighted the parts that i needed to fix. I could not figure out how to unhighlight things on microsoft word so i just left it. if someone could tell me how to unhighlight things that would be great (you can tell that i am a computer wiz).

Reviews

[�Alexa�]

This was awesome. I really want to read more. So now it's in my library! =)

[Amanda]

this was a really interesting story...are you working on the rest? grammar aside, the plot is interesting and it flows well. i would like to see what happens next, as it did keep my attention.

Amanda

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This was good , I mean really good..
The plot was very interesting and appealing. As a reader, I was really able to relate myself with it.
But I think you that it needs some polishing with the grammar.

[Lori Nicole Peck]

My first suggestion is to use adverbs sparingly, because too many tend to make fiction sound fictional. You're going for the illusion of reality. Most emotions are implied in whatever the character is saying, so the fact that she said something enthusiastically or yelled it should generally come through in context.

Same thing with actions. If it doesn't contribute to the flow of your story, toss it. I find that too many extraneous details slow the flow of the story. I would actually prefer to see you try to develop your characters more through their words and actions. Example: instead of informing the reader repeatedly of how in love they are, try to show it through their actions.

I guess the main focus is that by eliminating as much of the "storytelling" part as you can, that it's easier for a reader to get drawn in. You have excellent characters. Let them tell their own story. Keep at it! I hope to see how this comes along.

[Brylee S. Hoffman]

i really liked it. Great word choice and i can't wait to read what happens next!

(to get rid of the highlighting go to either the top or bottom of word, it depends on which version you have, and go to this little icon that has an "ab" that looks like it is highlighted in yellow and a little highlighter next to it then select the no color button.)

[universe-explorer]

right, this tell the story that we see day to day but do not care to look into. Nice write.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

i think you write well .. i like the story and you made the 3 characters thus far stand out so we see them in our head .. i am not sure about the first part .. they were going to have a picnic and he was going to tell her there that he was going to be a paleontologist? Then she is mad and callng him food names .. why was she mad? I am not critizing your pen because the story held my attention and as i said through your words i could see them and sort of know them .. i am just confused and perhaps should read this again .. maybe i overlooked something .. i will just say i like it and it is very very well written. Look forward to more of this story.
peace
chloe
xoxo

[Hope McKenzie]

This is really good :)

[Immortal Beloved]

pretty good thus far

[..R.I.P..]

Very good, lots of details. I wish I knew what Linda is going to say next!!
What are the yellow highlights for?