Clouds Rising; Love Sightings

inspired by Cloud Gazing, Love's Phasing

 

We lay here together

Moments with you won't last forever

While your head gently nests 

Between my waist and my chest

Never before 

Have I enjoyed like this

Looking at the sky

From the corner of my eye

I catch a glimpse of your smile

Never gone to waste

And your pretty face

With a background of rye

 

You keep my hand

Firmly

Stopping me

From looking at my watch

I can't help but to think

You're everything I thought

It makes me feel as though

My heart's been tossed

My heartbeat stops

As I think about my

Soon to be loss

Who's apparently

...*lick*

Wearing gloss

 

A soft breeze squirms through us

Just enough

For your scent

To take me over

Step by step

Both 

With no idea

Of where time went

The sun is setting

And molding

With the up and coming

Crescent

Night has crept

 

Our mutual importance

Is prime

Our hearts seem to

Beat 

At the same time

We simultaneously look at ourselves

Like a rhyme

We know it's time

Almost like we can

Hear the chime

After getting in that car

There's no physical rewind

 

As we walk away

My left hand on your hip

I have a hard time

Losing grip

I feel our interior grit

Our similar wit

Our desire to

Lose it

Lust fits

Or stop

And talk

Publish our remarks

To each other

Guaranteed sparks

 

But in the end

I'll be content

With our time

Well spent

Nothing less than

Exquisite

 

Author's Note

this one felt extremely good

Reviews

[KAin]

An interesting rhyme scheme, well-executed to convey a great message. It had a bit of a "message in a bottle to my love" feel to it, but maybe that's just me. The sensation is mostly due to the rhyme scheme and the tone of how i read it, as opposed to the words themselves which showed an intimate moment spent with a loved one. Well written, indeed!

[John McGrael]

this is a well written poem.. but i just didn't like it that much

not my style

dont get me wrong, its a good poem, its well-done and ur a great writer
just not my style

[emmajoy]

A romantic look into a situation veiled in want and warmth.

'We both have no idea where the time went / The sun is setting and is molding with the up and coming crescent / Night has crept' .. those three lines conjur a most beautiful picture.

There's something very special when two people feel they're two parts of a whole, and, even if they separate, they've made a memory that does remain 'exquisite'

Great write, fine words. Thank you for sharing.

[Tai-San]

I like this! ^.^

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very upbeat and witty not to mention romantic.

[Tracie Skarbo]

This is vivid in description, I like the image of the both of you on your backs looking up into the clouds and laying in the yellow rye. Very nice! I also love the title of this piece. Nice job...

Tigra

[Christen Rose]

so first i read through this, a little bit too quickly, i got to the end, sighed, looked down while shaking my head and giggling to myself, scrolled back up to the top of the page, read it again, and couldn't help but smile my widest. i am astonished. obvisouly, inspired by my poem, it's as if you captured the same scenario, only in the male perspective. it's absolutely perfect, i mean.. yours is much much better than mine, but i feel like this one delivers the same message i hoped mine would. i am impressed, truly. and i feel honored, in a way, because my writing inspired this. amazing, yann. as always. this one felt extremely good to read as well.

[Bud]

Rightfully so. It is an Excellent write. You have much talent, my friend! Love can inspire great works of art. Likewise, the beauty of nature can have great inspiration. When the two come together in one experience...there are no words to accurately describe the resulting reaction of chemistry! Outstanding!