June 27, 2008 7:55 AM

bad move kid,

I sometimes wonder if I am ever really sorry

for the hundred dollars I swiped

or any of the other things I've done

in a pinch.

 

Im not ashamed of what I've done,

just the fact I got caught,

red handed but not red eyed

and a cigarette or three or eight can't calm me down

or talking with Mary,

because I don't know how much longer we will be together,

or if what is happening now is really being together

in the first place.

 

Essentially I've done what I've done before,

gotten close to something

then pissed it away,

into the wind

and I spray myself unabashed.

 

Sprayed with f**k yous and f**k this

until I'm covered,

and I'm embarassed finally,

stuck in my room with a typewriter,

a typewriter and an old man's vocabulary

trapped in a young man's mind.

 

I forget what I'm doing,

forget what I was writing/saying/where I was going with all of this,

so I ramble,

and the wind gets cold,

and I didn't wear a jacket because its June,

and I won't need to be cold for a long while,

close my eyes behind fogging windshield

I wonder

what I'm gonna do next and

if I'll be sorry when I get there.