Graffiti

poem

 

conner,
your art in your face,
you’re a jackass
and don’t sit here on a bench
where any of us have sat,

through countless puffs of smoke
from cigarettes that taste old
in young mouths,
like your masterpiece,
what I call s**t.

brett,
your art like you don’t know where you’re going,
and I sadly believe
I’ve been there on days when it wasn’t raining.
that silver eye on the wall
and conner says, behind a cigarette,
that someone is watching us now.
I laugh,
you don’t because you know
you know it’s true,
and I realize that’s what you wanted:
someone to watch, like you watching me
tell brick walls about my addictions
in spray paint mist whispers.

you watch quiet, wonder at my nakedness
in words. you have to turn away
and expose yourself as well.
 

Reviews

[Freedom]

you know this kind of reminds me of a monologue? Maybe that's just because Im a theatre person..but it would make a great one. You capture such scorn..it would be beautiful to portray on the stage. I see this because..there's a big, underlying emotion. but there are beats, too. (by 'beats' i mean changes in surface emotion).

it's beautiful how you set graffiti as a symbol..and im probably wrong, but im guessing it's symbolic of your exposition to the world..or something like, your graffiti is your rock, and the poem is you sharing both sides of it with certain people.

It's truly a beautiful piece.

[Nikkikid48]

ugh I love this!...I respond well with free form poetry and you capture this sooo well....its like a story...years in fact in 2 paragraphs...imagery is so profound here...and a few lines are incredible namely "from cigarettes that taste old in young mouths" and "and I realize that's what you wanted: someone to watch, like you watching me tell brick walls about my addictions in spray paint mist whispers. you watch quiet, wonder at my nakedness in words. you have to turn away and expose yourself as well." so basically the whole this but the last line especially...great job :)

[The Mad Prophet]

Different, neat, and a bit odd for me, and I am odd. Thats good when I can't figure out the feeling portrayed. I know you expressed your art as Graffiti on a building, and I know you feel better then the others who do it. Also I think you got caught. So why do I feel there is more to this story?

[dorkfish]

huh... rather intreging. but i like how parts are directed at a speacific peron rather than just anyone in general. and how you analized the people downt to things rather than characteristics. very nice.