The Truth

The Full Story

How can say you understand when you don’t know the whole story,

You think you know me because you know what I’ve told you, not the bad stuff.

You may think I’m over dramatic about my dogs death but you don’t know I’m reliving his death everyday and there’s nothing I can do each time. Every time the car is faster and he looks more scared and I’m screaming louder while it all ends the same.

You think I’m always just tired cause I’m a teen but ever think maybe I can’t sleep. They don’t know I can’t sleep without meds, that I have been having panic attacks every night. That when i do sleep I don’t stop screaming.

They think I’m fine, they don’t see cuts.

Why would I let you see them. They don’t know that I can’t have scissors in my room, that self harm isn’t just cutting. 

People think oh she’s just thin, who really knows I can’t eat because I feel sick, that I’m never hungry because I’m so anxious. 

Do I go to therapy? Yep since I was 6, Do I take meds? Yep since I was 7, then why are you like this? I wish I had the answer I feel like that there’s nothing anyone can do.

But Why should they know any of this? 

Why should someone know that I’m struggling to get out of bed or to go to the bathroom, that I haven’t eaten in weeks or when I force myself to shower I can’t even finish it.

Who needs to know, who needs to know how every night I fight with myself because I can’t hurt anyone but my brain is fine with hurting me. No one needs to know. Right?