Long time no talk

Dear Damon,

 Ive never felt closer to a person in my life. Theres something about you that captivates me. I think I love you. 

 

    God Damn, every time i wrote these words my sentences grew smaller and more confusing. How could it be so hard for me to say those simple three words. When i stopped to think about what i had writen down i noticed my words were tinged with lies.I had felt this way once before over his brother, though the feeling slowly faded. The more i thought the more i scribbled the words making sure no trace of them would ever be seen again. not even the impression of the letters on the next couple of pages. Maybe everything was a lie, maybe im not truly living.

 

 I woke up at the crack of dawn with a piece of paper stuck to my face. and writing embeded on my forehead. i spat on my hand and wiped vigorously at my forehead until the ink ran off. Im not sure what it was at that moment but tears ran off my face like the ink recently had. I had finally broken down and realized the things previously in my life will always affect my future. I dont know for sure what triggered the realization, but whatever did hit hard. Out of the corner of my eye i saw someone in the reflection of my mirror. It felt as though all the blood in my body was rushing to my face. He was sprawled out on my bed with one of the many crumpled pieces of paper in his hands. "D****t Damon! you scared the hell out of me" he smiled and snickered, "Babe, we are the beings of hell, for you to have no hell in you would be a crime." His eyes scanned my body and i coul feel the warmth in his gaze. His eyes then returned to the paper and they widened as he read. "Is this true, Do you love me?" his words came out with weakness i could see the hope in his eyes. " Yes, I believe i have from the moment i met u."  He stared at me for a moment with a blank look upon his face. I bet at this moment his thoughts were clouded and he didnt believe me. Perhaps he did believe the words i spoke maybe it was doubt that illuminated his thoughts. As i was lost in thought he must have moved for when i returned to the real world his hand was on my face and he titlted my head up to were i could see into his mystic purple eyes. He ran his fingers through my tangled hair and kissed me lightly. I melted at the very instant his lips brushed mine.

 

In Damons Eyes

 

  I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close to me and rested my head on hers. I didnt know what i was thinking at the time, for i knew things with her could never last. Being with her, in love with her would weaken me, yet i still held her. The deeper in thought i grew the more i realized i was becoming my brother, though i knew i would not die to protect her. If i died thered always be the chance that she too would die and from the depths of hell my heart would break and i would scream out in pure and utter agony.I looked back upon the day my brother died and how fastly i ran to her side to protect her from Zan. The moment He arched his bow in her direction i no longer thought.i jumped from my position sent out a mental blast that could have very well killed me,all for her. She was my greatest weakness. The one thing that could bring me to my knees and having me scream for mercy. My body grew cold and i shuddered at the thought that she had such power over me. I kissed her hair and wispered i love you into her perfumed scent. After minutes of being lost within the loving embrace we had shared, i slowly turned and walked away.

 

   I went off into the woods to find a place i could think rationally. My mind became blank and a migrane began to form. It was one of the worst ive had in quite awhile it was the type that would have broght my brother to the groung. i laughed at my own accusations. I finally decided to sit by the trunk of Aureillas favorite oak. If you really leaned into the branches you could smell her as if she were still there.

 

  "Ah!" i shouted into the wilderness as i threw my mothers locket to the forest floor. I couldnt get Aureilla off my mind, and when i did for the slightest second my thoughts always wondered back to her. I had to leave. I need my space from her, or prehaps space from my thoughts the world will never know. My anger surged for a long drawn out time. Until i fell to my knees in tears. I had finally cracked.

 

  Birds chirped and the sun was slowly rising. I must have fallen asleep upon the "thinking" branch. I lit up a smoke and drowned out my groginess. I peared up at the pastel shaded sky wondering how long it had been since i indulged on a nice smokey treat. "too long" i said to myself as i smothered the burning ash on the bottom of my combat boot. Though i hadnt drank anything i felt as though i had the worst hangover of my life. My head was pounding and i felt my stomach as it slowly knotted. I knew i wasnt hungry for i barely ever ate, i could go weeks on end without food. Its one of the benefits of great will power. My mind was often stronger then my body, but never faster. My thoughts then drifted back to the same reason i had ended up in this tree, dangling above the ground. I sighed the deepest sigh i have probably ever sighed and lept into the air. My hair caught the wind the light breeze caressesd my face, the sunlight and green of the trees flashed before my eyes. It all ended when my boots hit the ground in a muffled thump.

 

 I leisurely wondered back to canvas city, as i liked to call it. The birds finally went silent along with the rest of the world. I began to whistle a war tune and shuffle my feet slightly. The space between me and canvas city slowly got smaller. Until the moment i reached the first tent, Nolan sat upon a post blood covering his what seemed cold hands. Panic surged through my body, whose blood could it be?