The beginning.. age 10

   Its been 2 years, well two years since my dad said those bitter words. "Not this weekend" what he really meant was maybe a weekend every 6 months, if your lucky every 4. I was eight then and foolish. I believed i needed that irresponsible man. What i really need is a parent. So far i have a child father and a pair of monkeys fighting over a banana or should i say money. They truly aggitate me sometimes i think of what life would be like away from them away from the weight of the world. Nice thought. i also wonder how they can't realize im hurt. Although they dont realize much just the satisfaction of making everyone else feel ultimately like s**t. My brothers in my room. I attempt to sheild him. It doesnt work well. He left i guess he cant think of much of whats going on after all he's only three. There yelling increased and it reminded me of how music blasted from a car and the way the bass sounded and vibrated.

 

  Out of rage i went into the living room and yelled for them to shut up. Then they yelled at me. a viscious cycle it is. the constant loudness and the feeling of being emotionally drained. The puffy eyes the runny nose none of which appealed to me. I dont like others hurting me. It makes me feel weak. Anger surged through the house if it were a fire the house would deffianately be up in flames. I was done.. I took the jewelry box i had gotten from my grandmother. The pink one with the elegant heart, well id say cheesey and i threw it with all my might. I watched as the glass hit the ground. The light caught the biggest piece dull around the edges with a sharp point. i bared my arm and it all began.