THE RING

fictional story that takes place during the 1950's...

 

Henry leaned against the lamp-post, his head thrown back, eyes closed, as the raindrops pelted his face and poured down his neck. The cold water stung as it traveled through the open collar of his shirt and down his chest. Get the guts, fella. He looked down at his feet and shook his head, the water droplets scattering on his already-wet shoulders.

 

"You've gotta stop being so stupid," he growled, scuffing his feet on the wet sidewalk. However, the image in his mind and the tight feeling throughout his chest and torso continued to plague him. He hadn't slept for nearly a week now.

 

"Stupid, heh?"

 

The snarling voice that spoke startled Henry. He looked up and squinted at the man through his water-ridden blond lashes. The man who spoke stood there in a long black raincoat and a fedora, an almost goblin-like grin on his tough, wrinkled face.

 

"Heh?" the man said again, tipping his head. "Stupid?"

 

Henry pushed himself back from the lamp-post and leaned his hands into his pockets. He turned sideways from the man, looking down the dim grey street. "Yeah. It's me."

 

The man gave an acidic, almost wild laugh. Henry stared at him.

 

"You know, son," the man gasped between chuckles. "You know, there's only one thing that will make a man stand out in the rain like this, calling himself an idiot. And that's a woman."

 

Henry shook his head and rolled his eyes, leaning back on the lamp-post toward the empty street. His back was to the sidewalk so that the man wouldn't be able to see the grimace on his face.

 

"Ah ha," the man said. From the distance of his voice, he still had not moved. "I see I am correct." The smugness in his voice made Henry want to turn around and sock him. "At the same time, I'll bet you're getting not even five hours of sleep a night."

 

Henry turned around so fast that the rain that had been gathering on his head dripped down the side of his face. "How did you know?" he asked, giving a loose shudder as the cold water traced down his shoulder.

 

The man shrugged, but his face said he knew more than Henry would have guessed. "We've all been there at some point, sonny," he said. "A purty broad bats her eyelashes our way a couple times, and soon enough we're sleepless, dreaming of her long legs and red lips, listening to records of Frank Sinatra, standing in the rain. It's inevitable, my good man. What you do about it is the thing that will make or break the man."

 

"What do you mean?" Henry asked.

 

The man dug for a cigarette and lit it. He took a long puff, then said, "A lot o' men, oh they just give in to their purty little notions and get married, thinking that married life is going to be perfect. That's what they think, son. And the first two weeks are purty exciting for him. Would be for anybody. But they get two months into the marriage, and their wife doesn't stop talking, never stops nagging, and the man either has to submit himself to what she wants him to be, or take the bit and get outta there, losing over half his money and dragging a little label on him."

 

Henry stood still. "I don't believe you. She loves me."

 

The man laughed again. "Sure you do. And she probably does. But love ain't the thing you think it is. Men and women, that's where they get mixed up. Love for a man is sex when he comes home at night. Now, don't look at me like that. You know it's true, deep down, you know it is. 'Neath all those purty feelings. Love for a woman is just hugs and kisses, and feeling beautiful, and new clothes and a nice kitchen where she can have her friends over for cooking parties. Marriage ain't really for each other. It's you for yourself and she for herself. That's the world. It runs on selfishness."

 

Henry shook his head. "I don't believe you." As he stood there in the rain, this man seemed like a nightmare, someone come to haunt him. His hand, buried deep in his pocket, closed over the little gold band. He rubbed it between his fingers. It was cold.

 

The man grinned at the defensive edge in his voice. "But the smart one...now, he's the one who gets what he really wants in life. Gets love when he wants it, gets money when he works for it, no little female clinging to his ear every minute of every day..."

 

Henry closed his eyes, felt his eyelashes spatter the fresh rain on his cheeks. His heart swelled until he thought it might burst. "Stop it."

 

The man continued to talk, his snarling voice tearing away at Henry's ears, making him nauseous. "...every minute is his own, when he wants it..."

 

"STOP IT!" Henry yelled.

 

The voice stopped.

 

When Henry opened his eyes, the man was not there. He stared at the spot where the man had stood, then looked up and down the sidewalk, and over his shoulder. The street and sidewalk was empty. The rain spattered on his forehead, and his shirt clung to his chest.

 

"I don't believe you," Henry said, his mouth numb.

 

-----

 

He stopped by her house at noon. Betty was beautiful as she came down the stairs, nearly flying into Henry's arms in her pretty white dress that showed off her long legs. Her mouth almost seemed to drip with dark red lipstick, and her vixen eyes were shadowed with makeup.

 

"Henry's here!" she called to the household. "Goodbye everyone! Goodbye!"

 

They drove up into the mountains to a little picnic spot that overlooked the city. As Henry laid out the checkered blanket and carried over the picnic basket, he found himself unable to look at Betty. She talked a lot, he noticed, and when he had told her that she was beautiful, she had said, "I love you." The words made his gut tighten, but not in a good way.

 

"Henry? Is something wrong?" Betty asked, pulling out the sandwiches.

 

He shook his head.

 

Betty set the forks down. "Something's wrong, Henry." She scooted over and straightened his collar, then set her hand on his. "You're not listening to me."

 

You're not listening to me. The words swirled in his head. You're not listening to me. "I am listening to you," his mouth said.

 

"Come on, darling, what's wrong?"

 

Henry shook his head. "Nothing." He stood up and walked to the edge of the outcropping that overlooked the town. "I'm okay, Betty." He put his hand in his pocket, and pulled it out.

 

"Henry?"

 

Henry felt the coldness of the metal between his fingers; he looked at the forty-foot drop in front of him.

 

"Henry?" Betty's voice stretched with concern.

 

He reached his hand out.

 

"Henry?" She was coming up behind him.

 

Slowly, he opened his fingers.

 

He turned around. "Yes, Betty?"

Author's Note

Okay, what did you think of this, other than the fact that it's depressing?

Oh, and I don't agree with this at all. You may take it as you wish. For myself, I wrote it more to show how the world (the old man) can influence people for bad.

Reviews

[Caleb Benton]

I am in awe. You have addressed a very important issue here; human selfishness. People can be together for years and be absolutely fine, but when it comes to marriage, things get difficult. I think the ideal relationship is a friendship. Anything beyond that requires that we stop putting ourselves first, which few people are actually capable of. Yes, we like to tell ourselves otherwise, but in reality we are all selfish. We dont want to love, we want to be loved. Thats why we seek out relationships in the first place.

[Ameseule]

Very nice, it's a great little snapshot of emotion and reaction. The writing is easy to read and I loved the feeling in the man's voice in the first half, it's convincing. If you'd like to develop it, you could definitely do that - and that's the only suggestion I really have for the piece. Right now, it's very simple - man gives Henry reasons not to do it, Henry doesn't do it. It would be nice to see a bit more conflict in the piece - what you have, do not get me wrong, is really great, the exchange at the beginning has a lot of depth to it and there is some conflict there. But let's see Henry really struggling with it, maybe even work at proving the man wrong instead of immediately realizing he's right and letting go of the ring. Or perhaps a bit more fleshing out at the beginning - you don't have to give away the fact that he has the ring, of course, but give the reader a little more information about where he is in the beginning - is he already unsure about the marriage idea, or even experimenting and making him completely convinced at the beginning that marriage is the right idea, that would provide a little more of a shift, opportunity for conflict and a non-static character.

[Dms]

Awww...he should have at least returned the ring to get his money back. But seriously, nice story.

[Pax Analog]

Edgy. The cold metal of the ring almost seemed like a gun.

Interesting that you took the male p.o.v. re "love" and "desire" running on different rails.

Humans are strange when they are unable to walk and chew gum at the same time. There is absolutely no inherent reason for the empathy of love and the fire of desire to be mutually exclusive. In truth, a savvier woman loves sexual fire, and a more well-rounded man enjoys being sensitive to his woman AND strong within himself. In a word, f**k sleepwalking false dichotomies such as freedom vs. commitment.

CONSCIOUSNESS is what slays this faux dragon of free desire vs. comforting love. A higher frequency of being makes for a seamlessness vis-a-vis these time-worn issues.

Many of us who have been around the block are aware of the men and women who stand the cliches on their heads, the wilder women, the sensitive men. Zen says "Sit, stand, don't wobble." In this story of yours, if Henry was a bit smarter, he'd take Betty to a whole other level in the process of all-embracing desire. When both love and desire are grounded in will and intuition, they are THOROUGH and are ONE.

What you've delineated is sharp, well-etched, and typical. Existentially, tho', there IS higher, firmer ground.

Good work, and I hope you realize what a profound art relationship really is. Few do. For Spirit, there is no "other," but a seamless whole, fiery and deep.

[Mark]

So much of human sadness is rooted in Ego (Vanity) and Selfishness (Greed) the key proponent of which doctrines being the One who was addressing Harry in the street.
If we could only realize that we are NOT the Epitome of God's Creation long enough, and admit how far we have to grow, and to go, and at the same time see that the other persons to whom we have attached ourselves have the same failings and weaknesses as we, we might be more patient with nagging, more tolerant of the bit.
BTW, when a horse TAKES the bit, he submits to authority; I think you might have meant "...take OUT the bit..."

[Emily B]

Perfectly drawn, I almost wondered if he would jump off the precipice. . . but then he let go of the ring and backed away from the edge. ;)

I almost think I've been there before. That moment when you see the future clearly for what it will be, instead of what you hope it might be.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Nice story with the acidic bite of truth. Pity that people don't get it until ... they really get it. You write with a wisdom that outpaces your years. My only nitpick would be in the line ...

"The street and sidewalk was empty."

I think you want "were" instead of "was" there. Otherwise, I'd say this was spot on. You give us a truth that's not sexy or exciting ... just truth.

[abejoyal]

Wow. Absolutely wonderful story, perfectly done (save for the fact that I don't like the name Betty). This is a really nice job and I must say one of my favorite pieces.

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

Loved it. I love depressing writing when it taps into a dark reality of the human condition. You did that here. I truly enjoyed.

Cheers!
FF

[Gregory Hill]

Ooh very sad. It is true that all humans have a fallen nature and they are very selfish, not many can overcome this as Caleb said. Very good right, keep on writing :)

[Adeline]

wow. that's like all I can say. this IS really depressing. The sad thing is it's so true, people don't get married for love anymore. I hope that doesn't happen to me, or you if you want to get married, Jane. :D Nice write, I think it will help people to see if they themselves are selfish when they read it. And maybe think back on past actions.