THE RING

fictional story that takes place during the 1950's...

 

Henry leaned against the lamp-post, his head thrown back, eyes closed, as the raindrops pelted his face and poured down his neck. The cold water stung as it traveled through the open collar of his shirt and down his chest. Get the guts, fella. He looked down at his feet and shook his head, the water droplets scattering on his already-wet shoulders.

 

"You've gotta stop being so stupid," he growled, scuffing his feet on the wet sidewalk. However, the image in his mind and the tight feeling throughout his chest and torso continued to plague him. He hadn't slept for nearly a week now.

 

"Stupid, heh?"

 

The snarling voice that spoke startled Henry. He looked up and squinted at the man through his water-ridden blond lashes. The man who spoke stood there in a long black raincoat and a fedora, an almost goblin-like grin on his tough, wrinkled face.

 

"Heh?" the man said again, tipping his head. "Stupid?"

 

Henry pushed himself back from the lamp-post and leaned his hands into his pockets. He turned sideways from the man, looking down the dim grey street. "Yeah. It's me."

 

The man gave an acidic, almost wild laugh. Henry stared at him.

 

"You know, son," the man gasped between chuckles. "You know, there's only one thing that will make a man stand out in the rain like this, calling himself an idiot. And that's a woman."

 

Henry shook his head and rolled his eyes, leaning back on the lamp-post toward the empty street. His back was to the sidewalk so that the man wouldn't be able to see the grimace on his face.

 

"Ah ha," the man said. From the distance of his voice, he still had not moved. "I see I am correct." The smugness in his voice made Henry want to turn around and sock him. "At the same time, I'll bet you're getting not even five hours of sleep a night."

 

Henry turned around so fast that the rain that had been gathering on his head dripped down the side of his face. "How did you know?" he asked, giving a loose shudder as the cold water traced down his shoulder.

 

The man shrugged, but his face said he knew more than Henry would have guessed. "We've all been there at some point, sonny," he said. "A purty broad bats her eyelashes our way a couple times, and soon enough we're sleepless, dreaming of her long legs and red lips, listening to records of Frank Sinatra, standing in the rain. It's inevitable, my good man. What you do about it is the thing that will make or break the man."

 

"What do you mean?" Henry asked.

 

The man dug for a cigarette and lit it. He took a long puff, then said, "A lot o' men, oh they just give in to their purty little notions and get married, thinking that married life is going to be perfect. That's what they think, son. And the first two weeks are purty exciting for him. Would be for anybody. But they get two months into the marriage, and their wife doesn't stop talking, never stops nagging, and the man either has to submit himself to what she wants him to be, or take the bit and get outta there, losing over half his money and dragging a little label on him."

 

Henry stood still. "I don't believe you. She loves me."

 

The man laughed again. "Sure you do. And she probably does. But love ain't the thing you think it is. Men and women, that's where they get mixed up. Love for a man is sex when he comes home at night. Now, don't look at me like that. You know it's true, deep down, you know it is. 'Neath all those purty feelings. Love for a woman is just hugs and kisses, and feeling beautiful, and new clothes and a nice kitchen where she can have her friends over for cooking parties. Marriage ain't really for each other. It's you for yourself and she for herself. That's the world. It runs on selfishness."

 

Henry shook his head. "I don't believe you." As he stood there in the rain, this man seemed like a nightmare, someone come to haunt him. His hand, buried deep in his pocket, closed over the little gold band. He rubbed it between his fingers. It was cold.

 

The man grinned at the defensive edge in his voice. "But the smart one...now, he's the one who gets what he really wants in life. Gets love when he wants it, gets money when he works for it, no little female clinging to his ear every minute of every day..."

 

Henry closed his eyes, felt his eyelashes spatter the fresh rain on his cheeks. His heart swelled until he thought it might burst. "Stop it."

 

The man continued to talk, his snarling voice tearing away at Henry's ears, making him nauseous. "...every minute is his own, when he wants it..."

 

"STOP IT!" Henry yelled.

 

The voice stopped.

 

When Henry opened his eyes, the man was not there. He stared at the spot where the man had stood, then looked up and down the sidewalk, and over his shoulder. The street and sidewalk was empty. The rain spattered on his forehead, and his shirt clung to his chest.

 

"I don't believe you," Henry said, his mouth numb.

 

-----

 

He stopped by her house at noon. Betty was beautiful as she came down the stairs, nearly flying into Henry's arms in her pretty white dress that showed off her long legs. Her mouth almost seemed to drip with dark red lipstick, and her vixen eyes were shadowed with makeup.

 

"Henry's here!" she called to the household. "Goodbye everyone! Goodbye!"

 

They drove up into the mountains to a little picnic spot that overlooked the city. As Henry laid out the checkered blanket and carried over the picnic basket, he found himself unable to look at Betty. She talked a lot, he noticed, and when he had told her that she was beautiful, she had said, "I love you." The words made his gut tighten, but not in a good way.

 

"Henry? Is something wrong?" Betty asked, pulling out the sandwiches.

 

He shook his head.

 

Betty set the forks down. "Something's wrong, Henry." She scooted over and straightened his collar, then set her hand on his. "You're not listening to me."

 

You're not listening to me. The words swirled in his head. You're not listening to me. "I am listening to you," his mouth said.

 

"Come on, darling, what's wrong?"

 

Henry shook his head. "Nothing." He stood up and walked to the edge of the outcropping that overlooked the town. "I'm okay, Betty." He put his hand in his pocket, and pulled it out.

 

"Henry?"

 

Henry felt the coldness of the metal between his fingers; he looked at the forty-foot drop in front of him.

 

"Henry?" Betty's voice stretched with concern.

 

He reached his hand out.

 

"Henry?" She was coming up behind him.

 

Slowly, he opened his fingers.

 

He turned around. "Yes, Betty?"

Author's Note

Okay, what did you think of this, other than the fact that it's depressing?

Oh, and I don't agree with this at all. You may take it as you wish. For myself, I wrote it more to show how the world (the old man) can influence people for bad.

Reviews

[Caleb Benton]

I am in awe. You have addressed a very important issue here; human selfishness. People can be together for years and be absolutely fine, but when it comes to marriage, things get difficult. I think the ideal relationship is a friendship. Anything beyond that requires that we stop putting ourselves first, which few people are actually capable of. Yes, we like to tell ourselves otherwise, but in reality we are all selfish. We dont want to love, we want to be loved. Thats why we seek out relationships in the first place.

[Francez]

Very well written! I love how you picture the scenes; they are very descriptive. The theme is also very intriguing, and the ending is perfect, giving a sort of cliff-hanger effect to the reader. Well done!

[clemon73]

all i can say is AWESOME. I really liked it. Great description, story flowed well. This piece needs to be published. Great job.

[MissWordSmith]

You really are am amazing writer. this story was fabulous is itself. it didn't need to be shorter or longer or anything. this really was a great story. and yes, you're write about the man. we have to be careful about who we let influence us. this was truly inspirational.

[QuietPoet]

I have to admit it is depressing and it does make you think, but I dont believe the old man. Marriage is beauitful. I hope the young man didnt believe him and asked her anyway. Great write, I enjoyed it, kept me interested.

[Ellen Hammond]

Wow! this sure gives us a lot to think about. You are a great story teller! I like how you show the inner turmoil that makes many men nervous about commitment. No doubt there are a lot of marriages that work out as the man in black described. however, most start out with idealized expectations that are often far from reality. In our youth, opposites tend to attract only to have the things that we found exciting become the very things that become tedious and repelling when faced with it day after day. Better to marry a friend who has like interests and values.

Great write! It held my interest all the way through and had me sitting on the edge of my seat toward the end.

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a great story. the details are wonderful. I am sorry that Henry met the old man in the street is all.

[HorrorMaster]

Very good I love it. :)

Wow, I love the way you captured the essence of the 50s.
This is a stunning write, but I feel ever so sorry for Henry.
I really liked this piece.
~Calypso Firebutton

[S. Kimball]

"A purty broad bats her eyelashes our way a couple times, and soon enough we're sleepless, dreaming of her long legs and red lips, listening to records of Frank Sinatra, standing in the rain. It's inevitable, my good man. What you do about it is the thing that will make or break the man."

I would like to begin by saying that is utterly fantastic.

Now to the review:

The story was, in fact, horribly disheartening, but I like it.

I haven't seen a whole lot of stories directly address human selfishness in this manner; it's almost always an undercurrent, but never the focus of the story. For this creativity, you must be applauded.

The flow of the story was exemplary. Not a single area where I had to pause or read again.

Your voice was also outstanding. You've clearly found your own style, and you're quite comfortable with it. So am I. I thoroughly enjoyed the way you put things.

I don't know exactly what to think of the message towards marriage the story puts out. In some ways I agree completely, in other ways I disagree feverishly. Overall, though, I believe it's an interesting viewpoint that makes for a great story and also food for thought.

Overall, I'd say this story is a 100/100, and I've never given one of those out before. Excellent work.

[Frantzuu]

Omg! That story was stunning. The imagery in this story is breathtaking. I can picture the street, the old man talking, henry standing in the rain with water all over his face. The message in that story is just great sometimes people just don't know what love is supposed to be anymore. I like how the old man played with Henry's head and got him all confused and suspicious about Betty. That really made him think hard about everything.

Then tension in the end got me excited I thought he was going to kill himself lol
for a second I was like ohh s**t, he's ganna jump but he didnt.
Honestly u're an awesome writer, you should differently try to get this piece published. It's amazing. I've never written a comment that long before lol

I love the story. 1000000000/100