The Picture Fades; a Memory Long Gone

Trying vainly to take control as sobs wracked my body I could barely breathe. I found myself forced to the ground. The way his normally calm green eyes flashed in anger as he screamed at me, the words banishing me from his world, forcing me into this pit of despair and uncontrollable loneliness tore me to pieces.

I remembered how I let him scream, then uttering my final words to him and leaving. Unable to control my pride and self-preservation, I fled, running to our place. It was my haven, nothing more than a bench in a park long since deserted. Given new life as we found it that one night, we claimed it as our own.

“Rem, come on!”

I laughed as he pulled me along, knowing that I would follow him anywhere. His enthusiasm broke free of his bonds that night as he let out a whoop.

“Where are we?” I inquired as he pulled me by the hand into an old rundown park. I looked around, letting the adrenaline course through me. An old carousal caught my eye. I ran to it, breaking my grip with him, earning myself a disgruntled sigh.

I walked up, letting my hands trail across the old wooden beams, my fingers exploring the exquisite framework and detailing. I finally let my gaze, as well as my hands come to rest upon the horse’s head.

I then felt hands wrap around my waist, pulling me softly into his chest, him claiming me for his own. I smiled, tilting my head upwards enough to hear the words he tenderly whispered in my ear.

“I want to show you something.”

I reluctantly abandoned the old wooden carousal for his hand. His hand was warm to the point where heat traveled through my body, joining the adrenaline that coursed through it, sending a shiver down my spine.

Mistaking my shudder for cold, he quickly shed his jacket, and before I could protest, slipped it onto my shoulders.

He led me over to an old bench, which groaned as we sat down, creaking from our weight and its age. I snuggled into him, burying my face into his shoulder. I inhaled slowly but deeply, taking in the scent of peppermint and Old Spice. I reveled in the fact that the beautiful creature whose chest my head rested upon actually liked me.

“Remy?” He whispered, and I lifted my head to stare into his breathtaking eyes. To my surprise, there was something lurking in them, confusion. I could see it written in his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“I think…I think I’m in love with you.”

Shaking my head, I expelled the memories that had come flooding back, opting instead to force myself to think of my most recent memory of him. It wasn’t a happy one, but it was memorable. Just thinking about it brought forth fresh tears to my eyes. I blinked them away, only to have a new wave come hurtling forward as my mind flashbacked to that fateful night.

I had been sitting on Cole’s bed, laughing about the idiotic events that had occurred earlier that day when he walked in. One glance was all it took to know something was wrong, desperately wrong. His normally perfectly hair was disheveled; his clothes askew, and he had a cloudy look in his eyes. His mouth was set in a tight line, and I waited for them to part.

They did, but not in the manner I was expecting.

“Are you seriously just going to sit there like you are innocent?”

I jumped, shocked at the cruel tone that had suddenly been directed at me. Dropping the candle I had been fiddling with, the hot wax spilled over my hand. It burned, but not as much as his next words.

“You are such a filthy w***e Remy.”

I heard Cole gasp beside me, as I felt my eyes glaze over with a film of tears. Then, blinking my tears away, I found my voice.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

He gave a short bark of laughter, mocking me, and with tears glistening on his cheeks. He narrowed his eyes into slits and whispered.

“I hate you, you f*****g b***h.”

I let out the breath I wasn’t aware I had been holding as streams of tears cascaded down my cheeks, my face now mirroring his.

“Get out of my life, you pathetic, heartless s**t.”

My head snapped up and my eyes searched his. They had become stone cold, betraying no emotions. My gaze flicked back to Cole, his expression outraged and his anger building, although he seemed glued to his seat.

I ran out, my tears becoming full-fledged sobs. Unable to stand, I felt my legs buckle beneath me as I heard two voices yelling, their screams carrying through the open window.

“What the hell man? What are you doing? You love her!”

I smiled through my tears as I heard Cole defending me.
“I did love her.”

My heart turned to stone as I heard his cold response. I lost it, and took off to the only place I knew, the park.

I couldn’t tell how much later it was when I heard my own name echoing from across the park. My cries had long subsided, and since then, I had been in a comatose state. My head lay on my knees, my arms holding myself together as I rocked back and forth.

I cringed as I heard my search party nearing.

“Remy, come on. I know you are out here.”

Cole’s voice drifted over to me as I shrunk back down, clinging to myself. I wished it would all go away.

His footsteps came closer, and finally came to a stop a few paces away.

“Remy?” His voice sounded defeated, but still had a hint of hope underlying it.

I lifted my head up, my eyelashes think with tears, my cheeks now encrusted with eyeliner and mascara.

“Does he...is…what…”

He watched me struggle to get my words out.

“He’s gone. He didn’t come. I’m sorry Rem. I’m so sorry.”

He caught me as I collapsed into his arms, unable to hold my tears in much longer. He guided me slowly down to my knees, wrapping me into his arms, holding me protectively.

My sobs stopped, too late to keep Cole’s shirt dry. I sighed, letting the darkness envelop me, tired from fighting exhaustion.

Unknown to me, still resting in my violent slumber, Cole was fighting his heart and his head. He held me in his arms, trying to calm my subconscious down, as I jerked and shuddered in my sleep.

"Shh. Remy. You're all right." Cole whispered into my ear, my head still on his chest. He tried to calm my violent shuddering.

Cole's POV

I glanced down at her. I felt my heart shudder as I saw her flawless cheeks covered in dried tears. Thick, black ugly streaks of mascara and eyeliner strode down her cheeks, staining and marring her features.

She shuddered again in her sleep, causing me to look back down at her. Despite the tearstains on her face, she was beautiful. .Her sudden jerks stopped, and she finally slept calmly, her face going slack as her nightmares ended.

My rage billowed forth as I thought of what he had done. How could he do this to her? It was the original cliché. I was in love with my best friend's girlfriend.

I kissed her softly on the head, playing with her golden-brown hair. I remembered the days when her smiles were free and bright, her blue eyes shone out clear, and the days she was happy. I thought about what being with him had done to her. Her skin was gaunt, her eyes dark and empty. When she did smile, it wasn't really her. The life had gone from her eyes and I could see her arms peppered with bruises, one newer than the next.

I shook my head, resisting the urge to punch the crap out of the person that hurt her.

I remember warning her. She was always too stubborn to listen. She insisted that she was different, and she could be the one that changed him. I only shook my head; I knew my best friend.

I watched the months go by, and her eyes starting to get weaker. I held my tongue, telling myself that this was what she wanted. This life was what she chose.

Now, seeing her broken, I couldn’t help but feel pain and regret over letting her go. I stroked her hair, my tears falling. One fell from my cheek to join the innumerable that graced her cheeks.

I wiped it off, leaning in to whisper the words she could never know.

"I love you Remy, I always have."