channels

i wonder if

she finds it hard

to be

honest

 

though honest

doesn't seem to be

the word

 

i wonder if

she finds it hard

to find her own

feelings

 

but they

seep through her words

when she writes

 

especially the ones

she wrote with you

for you

 

 

it makes me wonder

were these all

 

love letters

 

coated in different characters

written in pretty words

and captivating dialogue

 

was she thinking of you

when she wrote them

 

did she know?

 

or did the words

pour out of her being

channeling

the many pieces of her

that loved

the entirety of you

 

before she even knew it

before she even read the words again

before she could even tell you

 

 

 

 

it makes me wonder,

was she

ever able

to tell you? 

Author's Note

when i first wrote channels, i felt very sad
i wrote this for a friend's ex who felt a little like me, but more headstrong

the friend showed me fanfics her ex wrote when they were together and i couldn't help but see traces of the friend in her works

even when they'd broken up, the ex wrote her a piece that was so full of affection and adoration for this friend and i just couldn't help but wonder

did her feelings ever reach my friend?

i wasn't sure if they did and the thought of that made me so sad i wrote this piece haha

i hope you like it!
and if the ex ever finds this piece, somehow, in some way, i wish you two well, truly
i hope you get your feelings across xx