small

we are small, through and through

we have always felt so small

 

a kid being small is expected

physically,

we have always been fragile little things

scraping our knees once they scratch the pavement,

tripping over our little limbs

 

we were loud and messy

unapologetic

and when people took care of us

sometimes we let them

most times we grumble

 

I don't want to sleep yet!

I want to go outside!

Five more minutes!

 

feeling small was something we had to get used to

it was a challenge

a race against time

a conquest

to finally prove to these big people

who always told us what to do

always told us what we can and can't do

that we're big now

we can take care of ourself

we can do whatever we want

 

but growing up

means getting bigger

physically,

maybe in other parts too,

though we see it better
when we look in the mirror

 

the small ones look up to us now

our knees don't bleed as much when they hit the pavement,

we can reach the top shelf,

there's meat where there weren't,

hair where there used to be none

 

there's a great disconnect

when we see ourself in the mirror

and see a similar image

to the ones we always looked up to

staring right back at us

- not lower, not higher

but we don't feel any different

 

if anything

we feel smaller