The Awe of Betrayal

..loyalty in the face of betrayal.. is it possible..

I feel numb. 

The pit of my stomach screams at me with an acidic pain of knowledge. This awareness that has befallen me is infinitely horrid. Im in a constant state of perplexity with these stabbing pains that puncture me. This secret that has been revealed feels like it could be the death of me.. 

I feel nothing.. 

Nothing that can build to something good. Honesty is good but this candor to my core it shook. Betrayal of the most personal kind.. and answers I cannot find, to kill this revelation that has destroyed me. 

I now know.. 

Forever I will not be as I was before.  

For myself has crumbled into chunks of vulnerability that I cannot hide.. the viral imagery is alive.. as it seeks only destruction of a psyche that was fine but now it does not seem to function. 

I dont understand.. 

For barely I can accept.. this affair that has transpired,  to make my life a laughing jest. 

The situation now altered by a foul action committed.. but it was against ME.. so why do I feel so insipid.. dirty, filthy is who I am, but my body is clean in action, yet my mind is filled with imagery of that horrid infidelity.. 

I am filled with jealousy.. befuddled.. mental atrophy.. 

Annihilation of my heart and all the feelings, what a lark..

And the irony of this fallacy is that those feelings held.. 

The feelings speak of my continued devotion ..  a notion that I cannot quell. 

Reviews

[Ruth]

Almost like grief in a way..not meaning to take away from this brilliant piece of writing..so many things in things in life cause emotions we don't understand and thoughts we never perceived possible!
This portrays that so well..heart wrenching love!
Great work
xx

[Ben Taylor]

A very deep, biting portrayal of betrayal. You astutely captured the confusion and shock, as well the the almost self loathing, that comes from being betrayed.
The format also adds to the poem, giving certain phrases special emphasis.
Well written.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Reminds me of what Judas did to Jesus. Awesome work.

[OT]

the awe of betrayal! what a title - and what a scene you portray - how one action and just one thing can alter the path and life of someone - "Forever I will not be as I was before." - no it won't the ultimate betrayal - so much can pivot on that one thing - great write!

[Dream Weaver]

A painful description of betrayal of the worst kind.
Well done DD...........