'Lacking Understanding'

..pain in a world of epitomic ache..

'Lacking Understanding'


Grab my soul and squeeze without remorse. 
I want to see if anything will appear. 
Strangle it, with your mighty force. 
What will slip out: love, hatred, or fear? 

Take hold of my hand and understand, 
That nothing I am is fine or pure. 
There is no direction, and the reasoning is bland. 
There is a sickness and it unravels me, to lack a cure. 



Something that once, aware of I became. 
I was sure that it could salvage my existence. 
But then my vision was suffocated by facial rain, 
And I lost the message in a fit of resistance. 

I use to wish that this was all a sleeping dream. 
That one day, you would wake me and return my vitality. 
I use to wish that I was in a neurological stream. 
And one day, I would awake to a parallel reality. 



I'm struggling with a world of epitomic ache. 
Full of piercing pain and devoid of gentle grace. 
A demoralizer of any sort of valid faith. 
Forsaken, with abandonment to face. 

Beyond the stars, all, you are able to see. 
You are aware of every single action happening. 

So If every picture I create in my mind is ascending. 
I still await that unreceived ultimate understanding. 

...

Reviews

[alan peter kelly]

what will fall out? all of the above...:) eloquent description of a wish to be immursed in an oasis of ideal...truth is...it'll come in its own good time...i believe a level of ascendency is possible in THIS life...and to waste to much time awaiting the mystery of the NEXT life is folly...life is pain...life can be likened to a chronic illness if that's one's choice...i accept the pain the grief...embrace it as normal...and KNOW i am not alone...especially with reads such as this...i can empathise...and i would imagine that this is NOT the totality of your existence...epitomic is apt...everyone has one of their own...a strong and sweeping write...i will read more of your work...enjoyed hearing your voice...thank you for the privilege :)

[...]

. about excruciating pain ... but expressed with great eloquence and in a balanced way ... that balance is tough to achieve ... for it starts in the mind first ... i've written about abandonment and isolation but never so well ... yet i feel that there is more ... there is more to pain ... understanding helps ... true that ... but inspiration helps a lot more ... and it does help people transcend pain even if their threshold of pain is redefined each day ... just my thoughts ... and yet again ... this is amazingly well written ...

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

it is a good poem for it is like a huge wake up call to everyone that this is the reality that we need to work hard to reach our dreams...

[Pax Analog]

"Something that once, aware of I became.
I was sure that it could salvage my existence.
But then my vision was suffocated by facial rain,
And I lost the message in a fit of resistance."

Effectively puts physiological response to emotion in a strange light -- where it actually is.

The classic dilemma of your poem does in fact summon empathy. Empathy is a spectrum ranging from creaturely basics to emotional struggles to intellectual snarls to integral assessment to spiritual grace.

The "epitomic ache" arises from any or all of those elements being inadequately met, by another, or in oneself.

It is safe to say you are here understood.

There is an eloquent Neptunian ripple to this piece which brings a beauty to the tread-water confessional.

[Amber Betty Marie Child..]

like spiritual visions in a young evolving gifted girl living that hard lesson learning life