Life!

stuff

When life gets you down
and times are getting rough
there's no time to frown
only time to be tough
so stand up real tall
and puff out your chest
feel real big and not small
and do your very best
for life is a thing
not everyone gets
which really makes you think
where to place your bets
place them on yourself
all the money you have
just don't fail yourself
or your life you may halved
win all of your fights
whether lost or won
when dressing wear brights
trust me its fun
feel free to laugh
and feel good about things
for if your life was half
there would be half the findings...

Author's Note

Enjoy life to the FULLEST and wear a smile everyday there no sense in being down as long as you try your best no one not your boss, teacher, or even yourself can/should demand more than that!

Reviews

[K. D. Kromminga]

I think you were struggling near the end to find words to fit into your rhyming scheme. Very good content, but I did not detect any sort of meter or cadence to your poetry, so maybe you would be better suited searching for the right words to fit your message instead of settling for the closest proximities that rhyme. You should try rewriting this as more of a free form poem and see if that helps make it more powerful and get the core of your message across with much more punch than is possible with the current rhyming scheme.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Great no, Excellent poem to live by!

[Desert Dreamer]

Happy writing, made me smile...I like the part
"where to place your bets
place them on yourself"
and think this is a great philosophy to live by. Although I disagree about the failing part, if we fail there is almost always another chance in life.

[Warick Ten Bohmer]

Seems very upbeat and at the start the reaction to life reminds me of the stereotypical male, "no time to frown, only time to be tough".

I liked the flow of the poem and the use of your words was pretty much spot on. Though I do have to question "or your life you may halved" just doesn't sound right.....

All and all great poetry and I'll smile to that :D

[thatbryngirl]

Optimistic as always:) and inspirational.... you're getting better and better at writing. I really enjoy your nice little poems:)

[deeps]

Inspirational write here, well written

[Scott Kelly]

Very direct and happy. Sounds a little bit more like the rhyme of a court jester in a play or something; I'm not sure what to make of this. It's just so... direct. I think there needs to be more "poem" here, but maybe I'm wrong. I dunno. It did make me kinda happy, so there's that.

[MusicMartyrs]

"when dressing wear brights i love bright colors :)
trust me its fun" nice poem, great message

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

inspirational poetic presented in a strong and straigtforward flow of optimism!!~

[GBU POETRY ONLY]

"Life" rallies up the simple honest to god truth ... Thx for the reminder and the ending is frisky and profound ... I'm smilin' & puffing .... Been a hard few months ... thx again, Zend !!