The Well

An attempt to express the inexpressible or a self indulgent exercise in self pity? You be the judge. And it's a sonnet. Now, where's my floppy hat?

There is inside a well of grief, as deep

And dark as any night, and when the well

Yawns open wide, into the mind does creep

A paralysing power black as hell.

There’s no reprieve from this disease, it kills

The joy in life and lays a load along

The soul to crush all hope beneath its mill

And suffocate the will in pain prolonged.

For many years, I’ve been like this, alone

In all the world, for when I tell my tale

The one who hears will leave me here, disowned.

And so I trod a lonely long travail.

I wear a mask to cloak the pain,

Behind the which I dwell, my heart within confined.

Reviews

[Firebird]

Alone and disowned is more than anyone can bear. Take a hand of friendship and start to climb out of your dark well. Seal the lid and pile on stones. Reach out for life and happiness. Your well is buried in the past. Reach for the sun and high places. x

[Zugzwang]

Thanks for your kind and compassionate response, Firebird. It's reassuring knowing there are people like you around.

[Firebird]

Beautifully written too. :-)

[Firebird]

Self indulgence is a wonderful thing! Treat yourself and wallow when you feel like it.

[Zugzwang]

Ach, the truth is I got bored after line 1 but I wanted to write a sonnet so just plowed ahead. And if I come across as a prat, more fool me.

[Firebird]

No prat. The first line would make anyone want to continue.

[Zugzwang]

Floppy hatted prat:
Thats the kind of guy I am
Behold, king of twits!

[Firebird]

Nice haiku! :-)

[Alexanda Corrin]

I love your outtake on the emotions of grief, and how it never truly leaves you. But I believe that telling others is the way to go, but you feel like they'l abandon you for it. Overall, a very well written and deeply touching poem.

[Zugzwang]

Thanks Alexandra. Yeah, that's been my experience with some of the more extreme events and emotions in my life. I'm currently interested in examining them, hence the overwhelmingly negative poetry. But I actually don't take myself that seriously. This is a sonnet and is unfortunately about 10 lines too long!

[Alexanda Corrin]

I quite like negative poetry myself. I am doing a similar thing, alternating between random prompts and introspective ideas. I look foward to reading more of your works. Don't be to hard on yourself, I think its beautiful the way it is :) I find writing, especially poetry is much better unstructured at times.

[Zugzwang]

Yar, it's ok from a technical point of view but I think it's forced. This is because I'm the one who forced it! But it's all good...I look forward to reading more of your stuff too. Negative is the new positive! Take it easy.

[BrokenWingedPhoenix]

Very nice, full of emotion. I've always found it interesting how life can be a motivator and how humans have the ability to find beauty in pain.

[Zugzwang]

Thanks Phoenix. Yes, there can be a kind of enjoyment and appreciation of pain that I've noticed. It's what attracts me to endurance sports for example. But I'm also having a laugh at myself here. You know when you catch yourself being a drama queen? I did that early on and said 'Hell, just go with it' and the result is 14 lines of whinging. I am proud of and embarrassed by it at the same time. 😅

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and most often we really make our own decision to jump into that black hole...no one really pushes us there...some people live for drama...live to wallow in a self-pity....

nicely said.

[Zugzwang]

Yes, it's totally over the top. The problem with this piece is that it goes nowhere. It should have finished after 4 lines but I wanted to write a sonnet so I just kept going. The result is this histrionic caterwauling but it rhymes so I like it 😀

[alifeacoustic]

"A paralysing power black as hell.
There’s no reprieve from this disease"
Superbly captured extremes of darkness within, an all consuming darkness that is, as you say, soul crushing.
Excellent.

[Zugzwang]

Thanks Acoustic. I thought you'd get it. You can run but those black dogs are always there. And they never sleep...

[WerTherBeDragons]

Beautifully written sonnet. Sadness oozes out of it (not self-pity in my humble opinion).
An exceptional portrayal of how it feels to suffer the depths & darkness of depression. Important to get this out 'there' given 1 in 4 folk will experience mental health problems, apparently (statistically) many creative people from all genres of art do - Slyvia to name but one.

[Zugzwang]

Thanks Dragons. Yar, I'm certainly getting it out there! This one is about the legacy of child abuse...it's the gift that keeps giving. Yay. Depression is a big part of it. But that's ok. And yes, Sylvia had it as well as Sexton, I imagine. I've started reading Dickinson, on my friend Jacob's advice and I reckon she'd be right down your alley. Check her out if you havent already.