Suicide Lottery

dead bolt

the doors are clicking shut

 

wandering erratic against the black

smear of conscious breath
rolling out like smoke does its cloud

 

snaps of corrupted imagery lacerating
between temples of hush muddled prayers

cats pawing at a lottery's peace

 

crumpled bending excess

swallowing up bugs, paper scraps

necessary compulsive clean 

 

corners fold in it's womb companion

offensive slits pulled to soften shadow

safe muffledsoundthroughbody

not me not me no not me counting

sand through a slit throat

escalating steady subtraction

 

she is a namelessfaceless

lessthannothing

save for suicide watch identity

 

the doors are clicking shut

dead bolt

Author's Note

a response to watching too much cnn these last few days. Kidnapping, Murder Sentence, Trapped in rubble for 16 days.

Reviews

[Steven]

Incredibly expressive. Especially:

'snaps of corrupted imagery lacerating
between temples of hush muddled prayers
cats pawing at a lottery's peace'

'lacerating' being such a great word choice. And I dig the mirroring of the first and last couplets. Nice write.

[Lluvs]

This is very well written really expresses "being trapped"

[Invisible]

that's why I don't what the news these days, too much s**t and not enough shame. but you see that commercial where a news chopper is following a safe driver? see how boring it would be if they did more stories like that on the real news? that's why they only show all the depressing and painful stuff, cause they need to keep people watching. i'm not saying they couldn't do more intelligent and wholesome stories, it's just that most people are also too ignorant and easily distracted to pay attention or care

[ZeeArsonist]

thank you for taking the time to read and respond. regardless of how slimy the news is, how was the writing?

[Invisible]

well described

[.]

"she is a namelessfaceless
lessthannothing
save for suicide watch identity"

:: the sheer number of people that society reduces to "nothing" is astounding... i nearly committed suicide several times... :: it took me a really long time to comprehend that society operates like a cult...and i was merely being punished for not being a blind follower...

:: an immensely intense piece of poetry that i relate to a lot...

[Ruth]

Wow...gonna love your work! Awesome display of chaos in the veins/mind/world/purge xoxo

[ZeeArsonist]

Thank you kindly, PoppySilver!

[Cursed]

Love the expression, dark and beautifully penned.

[ZeeArsonist]

Hey stranger! :P Thanks for getting into this one and letting me know what you think!

[LJW]

It almost sounded like you were a mental patient on suicide watch.
We can certainly feel like one after watching too much cnn, the true gold standard in reality tv.

The whole piece had a Clockwork Orange vibe to it. Stark, intense, violent, surreal. Put this character in a white suit in front of a white screen and superimpose those images across him/her in flashbulb succession.

Art.

[Richard]

this is really something
really expressive
I read about that boy too ... Syrian boy trapped yeah
I must say I love your poems titles a great deal

Richie

[ZeeArsonist]

Thank you! I thought it really interesting how in the two criminal cases, both were on "suicide watch" and hoping for a death sentence. In the factory collapse, there was a woman who was determined to live and after 17 days she was rescued. I wonder if she ever had a moment where she just wanted it to be over? I wonder if she heard people cleaning up the debris but she was too weak to call out. Anyway, thanks so much for the reads and the feedback.

[Richard]

si that right? :S I didn't know the cause of the destruction ... but it was criminals and that boy suffered? I thought it maybe was a work accident ... that's horrible
yeah wow ... I mean it shows amazing courage and dtermination to go that long stuck somewhere without anything ... that's unbelievable

and you're very welcome

[Richard]

I suffer day to day but I almost wish on myself something to throw me under a bus so to speak because it happens every day and it can happen and you grow from it ... I've been in near-death experiences due to my own stupidity and I learned and grew from them but I think there's times when I'm not living up to my potential and I wish I could take 17 days stuck under rubble ... and I mean they definitely did not deserve it I just don't quite know what I mean ..

[Naomi WIlliams]

This is actually really good. I love how the ending is the beginning in reverse. The whole poem is deep and intellectual, and the visual you give is great. Keep writing (:

[ZeeArsonist]

Thanks for finding my little corner on the interwebz and taking the time to read! I will gladly return the love. I really liked the beginning and end mirroring, too. made me feel the squeeze of time and space. like a jail cell. a coffin.

[Everett DeValle]

Deep response from watching events on news...the reason why I don't watch to much news...it just desynthesize our experience, yet it's a double edge sword, to keep informed...interesting read.

[ZeeArsonist]

as always, i do appreciate your time taken to read and respond. watching the news doesnt usually appeal to me too much, either. but i got sucked in by these stories and couldnt stop drawing parallels.

[Everett DeValle]

You are so very welcome...it was truly a pleasure to read your work.

~Ev