Lonely Dancer

A Poem by zed

I have a phone filled with love songs. I have a Netflix account full of love movies and shows I’ve binged. I have dreams of someone capable of feeling for me what I feel for them. I’m a helpless romantic trapped in world without someone to romance. When I think about it, life has no purpose. That being said, it is up to each and every person to decide for themselves what their purpose is. We all just linger through life waiting until we discover something so great it gives our life meaning. I guess I’m here still waiting. I’m a lonely dancer swaying to the rhythm of a heartbreak melody. Strum your strings and play that tune that consumes me. Fill me with nostalgia and memories of heartache. Fill me with blind hope to guide my clumsy feet in the right direction. Much like a broken heart, my dance is jagged and rough. The onlookers laugh at the sight of my jaded, erratic movements. In a ballroom filled with gleeful dancers I somehow find myself isolated in the center. As I attempt the break away from the gravity that pulls me from the crowd, I am quickly pulled right back. I can never manage to have a partner stick around for too long before they rhythmically fade away. It’s like clockwork. My feet are blistered and my legs are shaky. My socks are bloodied my back is aching. My clothes are withered and covered in sweat. I dance and dance with endless regret. I try to stop but the music keeps playing. It grabs my soul and my body keeps swaying. This is torture. People say they wish they were capable of feeling what I feel for other people but it’s a sickening curse. That love people claim they desire is the very same thing that frightens them. My fluttering heart is the cause of my lonely. My fleeting romances remind me why I will always be my only. I just wish someone would take the time to know me. But then I remember what happens to the ones who come close. I remember the toes I step on and nimble dancers I’ve tripped. I remember the dancers who ignored my faults but still danced at my side. Yet for some reason I push them away. So...watch me dance. Watch my body crumble. I dare you to look into the eyes of a man who’s heart is so withered you feel like you’re staring into the eyes of a corpse. As a matter of fact, turn up the music. I’ll dance for another song, maybe two. But soon will come the day where I can no longer stand and neither can you. You’ll fear that day because you’ll finally forever be alone. But I’ll smile at the thought because lonely is all I’ve ever known.