Invisible

I am treated like i don't exist.

I think i am invisible.

A ghost lingering 

broken halls that 

once belonged to

complete people.

A part of me felt

blinded to the reality

of the unloving world

that was on offer.

Desolation was all

that i could see and

that is all i ever appeared

to be to everyone.

A saturnine soul roaming. 
I think i am invisible.

Author's Note

Feeling numb. - Melody x

Reviews

[SkinlessFrank]

feeling this way feels pervasive, permanent, and personal...but there are rays of light one can use as signposts

[Poetic Beauty]

Gave me a feel as if a ghost was speaking.

[wordman]

funny how you can be made to feel by others,maybe you need to change your crowd

[Ethan]

Grammar corrections/optional edits:

I think I am invisible.

A ghost lingering
in broken halls that
once belonged to
complete people.

A part of me feels
blinded to the reality
of the unloving world
that is offering itself to me.



Desolation is all
that I can see and
that is all I appear
to be to everyone,

A saturnine soul roaming.
I think I am invisible.

Comments:

So, this is a cool idea. However, you switch up your verb tense. Since the reader has no reference to what has happened in the past, it's a bit confusing. It will come across more powerfully if you stick to one tense. I chose present in the edit.

Second, this is sort of a general comment and suggestion. Lingering requires a place to linger. It's not really an action like walking where you could say, "I walk broken halls." It's implied that you're walking through the halls, and though a little odd at first, it still works. With lingering, you have to say where you're lingering. So, I'm not sure whether you looked it up in a thesaurus or not (which is a great idea, all the best poets utilize every tool available to them), but if you did, make sure that you look up examples of the word in sentences so you don't miss tiny little things like that.

Other than those small comments, I enjoyed it. Good job :))

[Najam Us Saher]

You expressed your emotions really well.

[Mr.Writer]

A heartbreaking, emotional piece Melody...
We often feel like this, and the way you've expressed it is very clear and provided an imagery of desolation for the readers
Well done, keep it up!

[Joey Nizz]

This is such a beautiful read!
I loved your words in this one, made me relate to them.

Thank you for sharing!

[Priyanshi]

"A saturnine soul roaming.
I think i am invisible."...loved these lines.
a beautiful poem, dear.

[Wajiha Nayeem]

another wonderful poem from you....very good...nicely written.

[Abraham George]

nice poem and thanks for sharing this .

keep writing my friend.