To***

A love poem...

 

Down through the Alps, immortal, standing high

Whose feathers are the clouds of passing days

And whose sweet bosoms touch the milky sky

And whose faint breaths birth thick and gentle haze;

Upon the hills and valleys, laced with white

And brushed by bonnets of the passing clouds

There is beneath the mounts, a lovely sight:

Which please all mortal eyes: soft daisy crowds.

Of all unearthly, flowery June treasure

Of all the decors and bouquets of spring

Perchance, the fairest, by all equal measure

Yon daisies, in the moist glades, lingering

    And there where such soft blossoms dance and play

    Are you and I upon a summer day 

Author's Note

Painting by Maboysen
(All paintings belong to their respective owners)

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Hello, Gleb. I admire poets who find making sonnets as simple poems because for me it's the most complicated form of poetry. I enjoyed making different poetry forms and types, but sonnets are quite difficult for me. In my first attempt to make a sonnet, I asked somebody to check it and help me improve the poem...until I I finally give up and make it a common rhyme poem. LOL. I think I have made only 2 sonnets in my one year of writing. If I'm not mistaken this is a Shakespearean sonnet because of metrical variations present (like in lines 9 and 11).

What I really like about this poem is the concept and the diction. I love Daisy flowers not only because it's my name, but because Daisies are really one of my favorite flowers. You have exceptional word choice in most of the lines.

This is an outstanding piece for me. Kudos!

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Thank you very much for your kind review. Sonnets are, indeed, difficult to write, and my first sonnets weren't that great either.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're welcome.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I could spend many an afternoon wrapped up in this poem. If I had written such a piece, I may cut back on the amount of "and (s)" used. However, I am not a technical poet and do not use meter or much rhyme scheme.

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Thank you very much for your kind review. Now that I think about it, there are too many "and(s)." Thank you.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

I love your ending!
A summer day is always to be cherished.
You paint a lovely picture here.

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Thank you so much.

[Sami Khalil]

"Upon the hills and valleys, laced with white
And brushed by bonnets of the passing clouds
There is beneath the mounts, a lovely sight:
Which please all mortal eyes: soft daisy crowds."

Simply amazing...:)..................

[Einstein Noodle]

blooms my heart with anticipation of summer ... so glad i stopped and found this ... from the lofty to the lowly ... finding love ... great stuff! and such a flower the daisy ... you do it justice and i can see the lovers in the glade so clearly ... reminds me of that classical scene and song in "The Sound of Music"
E.

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

very nice poem it's a very sweet depiction of a good old fashion summer

[Skyangel_91]

Such a wonderful poem. No other way to describe it. A job well done

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Lovely.. It took one to the beautiful destination..!!


Keep Sharing..!!

Good Wishes..!!

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Thank you.

[M. L. Zane]

Howdy Gleb. This read request took a bit long due to commitments of mine, but, hey, worth it. Song of Sinai is now on Amazon's Kindle store. Check it out. You'll enjoy it.

As for this, I am not usually a fan of naturalistic work. I tend to prefer character driven poetry, and I rarely read works simply about the world around us. You have a strong talent for painting a picture with words, and for that I commend you. This is a very interesting piece, and you've got my attention. Let's see what else you can do.

I do have one minor complaint. Double space! Makes this much easier to read. You may want to also consider italics, but this is just a stylistic issue.

Fine work. Check out Song of Sinai.

Regards,
-M.L. Zane

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Thank you.