Hypnos

The Greek god of sleep

 

Oh Hypnos lord of all the lands of dream,

    Whose slumb’rous breath weaves eyes with poppy leaf,

    And whose sweet lullabies mortals relieve

Of throes, and shields them from the evil scheme

    Of Phobetor who roams around the world at close of eve,

 

Oh Hypnos, phantom o’er each mossy cot,

    Whose gentle, dreamy hands all place to rest

    The cooing birds found snoozing in their nest

And all the goats upon the meads where not

    A pallid moonbeam can descry, for all’s by night suppressed,

 

Or mortal denizens in cities, pent

    Or gleaming fish found in the ocean’s deep,

    Or cattle, waiting in the glens for sleep

To dawn upon their minds, and their souls send

    Into Elysium until the morn shall night’s shoots reap,

 

And plant its gloried beams into the bare

    And fill the lands with nec’trous, honeyed rays,

    Come on us, god of sleep, unearthly grace

From out the shadows of your mystic lair,

    And spread across our waking minds your thick, morphean haze.

 

How much I’ve agonized and yearned to gain

    The lavender and eat such dozy bud,

    And try to fall asleep, and ever nod

As I get lost and stray in dream’s domain,

    But never have I had success for slumber I could not!

 

I roamed across the clouds of yester night

    And round the meadows of the yesteryear,

    But never can I my bright spirit steer

Into such sleep, and take upon my flight

    Into deep slumber’s den, until, Hypnos you did appear,

 

And eased my mind and soul, and with your spells

    Had quelled the raging passions of my heart,

    And carefully had closed the draws to part,

Once you had done your deed and slowed the swells

    Of my free spirit, and had my sore mind with slumbers barred…

     

Author's Note

Does this poem sound a bit forced?
Plus, are there any grammatical errors?
Thank you.

Reviews

[Shaun Payton]

That was surely one of the most fantastic poems Ive read here. Didnt appear forced, lools grammticaly solid as far as I noticed. Very well done!

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Thank you very much for the kind words.

[Shaun Payton]

Im having trouble typing today lol You are welcome:)

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Gleb... within my novice mind...
I did read your prose and found it
soothing as a summer day with meadows
fond memories...the cooing birds found
snoozing in their nest...gleaming fish found
in the ocean's deep. May your bright
spirit steer...into deep slumber's den...
Amen.... truly... Pat

[Sami Khalil]

A mythical write with mythical dimesions. Thank you for the tribute to great poeple and god's of antiquity...Splendid

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Thank you for your kind words.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome hypnotically...Just kidding...:)....................

[Jack...]

Gleb, it doesn't sound forced to me, it has a nice flow to it, almost of a lullaby (yep, lullaby) fashion. But I can tell you this, I have been up for the past 16 hours and won't be home for another 2, so I don't think he will need to visit me tonight.

As far as grammatical errors, none that I could see, but I'm not the best at that kind of thing.

[Gleb Zavlanov]

:D. Thanks for the review.