misty, watercolored

more puzzle pieces

misty, watercolored   Memories, mere snippets of events, real and imagined, with no way to truly know what happened from what was hoped or feared. The places in my mind are both awesome and mundane; did that really happen there, or at all? We moved so often that memories are jumbled and when jostled, often erupt in a way I can only describe as consistent with what I understand of post-traumatic stress disorder. I wonder if I can find relief, short of revisiting all the little hells I remember, and/or imagined.     I remember being a passenger in a car as we rode thru Hot Springs, AR. when I saw a building that sent my head spinning. Images flooded my head and I knew my family had some history there. I was later informed we had lived there for a time when I was in 3rd grade. This happened more often than I can recount here.     I first arrived in Laguna in Jan. 1980. I had just turned 18 the previous Dec. and knew I had to see the sea before I died. Death seemed imminent as a teenager in Oklahoma, not because we lived on the mean streets, but rather the dull dead-ends of a Federal housing development known as "the projects".