Freewrite, Number 2

don't read this.

 I’m dizzy.

 

Skin-dizzy.

 

Blood-dizzy.

 

I might throw up. I got up too fast and my vision caved in and now, once again, I am dizzy. I learned today that the difference between vertigo and dizziness is spinning. I’m not spinning. I’m dizzy.

 

I think the universe is manifesting itself. Metamorphosing itself. Metaphoring itself.

 

I can’t breathe very well.

 

I can’t speak very well, although, well, that may stem from some public speaking issues I developed in the third grade and the speech impediment that surfaces sometimes when I’m nervous or angry or any other extraneous emotion.

 

Of course,none of this changes the fact that I’m dizzy, and I might very well throw up.

 

I feel like blood diseases are a metaphor for satan. I haven’t got much to say out loud. There’s symbolism in that. That which can not be named. I still can’t breathe. I’m not going to school tomorrow. I can’t handle it, I don’t think. Maybe if I thought with different parts of my brain. Maybe I should talk to myself out loud more. Maybe my history teacher judges me. I’ve gone to therapy. This principle might be consuming itself like a black hole because I’m thinking about doing it. There’s no direction. I think science is a religion. I know that microscience is. I spout off information every day of my life; why am I doing it to myself, spouting of information in a thought process thing. Why does it bother me so much? Maybe I’ll get carpel tunnl. I feel like I’d just be really inconvenient. I wish that I had more inspiration to write things, like twenty thousand page stories. I haven’t written anything substantial in for-f*****g-ever. This is not. I want to be able to write music. I want to be able to think out loud. I can’t see. Oh man. Here it starts. There once was a young boy. There was a young girl too. In fact there has been one trillion young boys throughout the course of history. And that’s just the ones we know about. Numbers are stupid. 

Author's Note

now you know more about me than you ever could have dreamed of.

Reviews

[wolfshrew]

i would like to see this spoken

[Ama May Cooper]

A chaotic piece of true thought. I admire you and understand you at the same tiem despite how impossible you belive that ot be.
Its a well written piece of thougth tracking that induldges the reader into the truth behin the writoer. i realise you said dont read this but i did anyway and im some what glad i did,
And anythnig i have learnt has put a strong respect for you in my mind your thought tracking it written in a way much like none other be proud of your indavdual mind