Dead Streets

A walk down Avalon

I was raised by a very humble family. Maybe humble is not the right word to use because my mom has always been the kind of person who is never satisfied with what she has; and my dad is the most competitive person I have ever met. However, my parents raised me to appreciate what we had even though they themselves always strived for a “better” life. And due to this we ended up moving from our country of origin and to the United States. We lived in Los Angeles, but not the fancy LA with beverly hills. We lived in South Central and I went to a school that had a graduation rate of around 60%. My school did not have enough AP classes so we had to wait till junior year to take the classes. Also, since my parents worked a lot I walked to school and took one bus and a train. Every morning and afternoon I would walk down Avalon alone. I was never scared of the drunk men and the homeless people who sat besides the streets. Infact occasionally some of the men and women waved at me and said good morning. Three people have died on that path and I still walked there even after I saw the dead body wrapped in a black bag. I would still walk on that street and read the goodbye messages that the drug addicts would write for the dead people. One time I was walking with my ex boyfriend and a man that I had seen every morning for about 2 years looked at me and said I looked happy. The same incident happened when I walked down with my current boyfriend. A lady stopped us and said “Aww ya’ll make a cute couple” and in another occasion another lady said “ya’ll look so happy”. Keeping in mind that my relationship is interracial. These people did not care that I was dating someone from another race. They were happy that I was happy. They were good people who had maybe taken a wrong path in life. They were doing their best to survive in that dead street.

I was fortunate enough to graduate form that schools and I am now attending UCLA. Here, I have been exposed to a new kind of life where people walk around with the latest iphones and macbooks. Where people don’t care how much they spend because their parents will recharge their accounts. At UCLA the streets are clean and people do not die along the sidewalks. I even find myself “feeling” safer. Mind You, I had never felt unsafe walking down Avalon. But when I went to visit my high school last week, I got off the bus the same station where I used to and i decided to walk down memory lane. I walked down Avalon but this time I felt scared. I kept turning my head and making sure no one was following me. I saw an older couple ahead of me and they both looked drunk and they were dressed like the men I used to see laying around the streets. Ahead of them I saw a younger couple and they looked like high school kids. They were kissing and the guy was holding his pants up with one hand and holding the girl with the other. I am sorry to say this but they had that “look” that I knew well enough. Both these couples seemed contented with the kind of life they were living. I knew that if that younger couple ended up graduating high school and staying in that community, they would end up just like that elderly couple. They had a high chance of ending up in that dead street. Something about that didn't seem right. I knew there was more out there and maybe that life out there wasn’t meant for people like me but if I worked hard enough I had a chance of living that other kind of life. Maybe I should feel bad for wanting a life that was different from what I had seen on that dead street. But after I walked down that street, I understood why when people left that kind of life, they tend to never want to go back to it. They have lived in street that have posters of “missing dogs” not “missing people” they see their streets being cleaned off leaves not police coming to collect dead bodies of people who overdosed.

It was a sad realization that I too wanted another life and I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to come back to this life ever again. I know we are suppose to go better ourselves so that we can improve our communities but I feel that some things are easier said than done.