I wish they knew

a story about a lost girl trying to be seen by people yet no one really believes in her

She was always the girl with the shy smile. The one who never looked people in their eyes because she was afraid that they would notice how sacred she was. She never had any real friends because every time she tried making friends; she ended up with a broken heart. She never had anyone who believed in her --not even herself. She had always been seen as the average girl and none expected much from her. Her mom was too strict on her so she became best friends with her room. Because that was the only place that she felt safe. Her mom made her feel stupid because she had always told her that she could never do better because an average girl like her had no future.
Then one day, she woke up feeling different. As if she was a new person. As if she had gained new confidence. She decided to embrace this newly acquired personality because she thought it would make her feel more important.She started making friends and she even fell in love for the first time. For the first time in forever she had felt important. She loved how people would ask her for help because she felt as if these people valued her. She was living the dream life that she had always hopped for. Her love life was also coming along pretty well. Despite her mom not letting her date at the age of 16.She decided to take the risk because she felt as if she had found her "forever love" This guy told her that she was beautiful,smart,kind, and the guy believed in her. She had always wanted to feel special to someone and when she found this guy, she was ready to do anything for him.
It was not long before she woke up from this dreamland and realized that nothing was as it seemed. Her friends only wanted her so they could use her. Her "one and only guy" was too different from her and he would at times say things that made her feel less important. No one around her saw her as any different rather than the girl with the shy smile.
Her heart was now  broken even more because she realized that she was in a big world where she was all alone. She could not trust anyone and mostly she could never find peace. So she decided to turn her shy smile into a crooked smile. Because she knew that the world would never appreciate her because they never gave her the chance to prove that she was stronger than most people saw her.

Author's Note

Is my work too emotional ?

Reviews

[Confused Canteloupe]

I don't believe it is too emotional. If anything it is not emotional enough. You have this story of a shockingly familiar girl who we see all the time, but you don't displace her with the complexity she deserves. She is much more than what you described her as being. There are many details you missed that you need to properly display how beautifully complicated she is. Other than that though, you have a wonderful character in the making and I feel you will be a wonderful writer some day soon.

[Clearskys]

I enjoyed it! I don't believe it is too emotional I think it just shows a part of life that is very sad and hard that alot of people deal with and that alot of people are oblivious too. I personally enjoy when I can see real emotion in writing wich I can in yours which is really sad but it makes it feel real and genuine. I feel like alot of people could relate and alot of people go through a realization that people are s****y and gain alot of apathy and unhappiness. The story ended on a dark note, which is fine because you should write what you feel and there needs to be stories that end dark. If this reflects how you feel I am sorry you feel this way and I am not one to tell others to be positive as im pretty negative but I feel there are beautiful moments and experiences in life to have that make all the darkness and shittiness worth it atleast I hope. Anyways I just checked out your profile since I haven't been on this website in several months and you happen to comment on one of mine, sadly mine is not a real experience but a small fantasy but I guess its not 100% fiction. Anyways I'm glad I clicked your profile because I liked how you worded alot of things. I hope your doing alright.

[Drizzle]

Thank you for your review and yes I am doing good...

[SuperGirl]

Nice work. I like it a lot.