Forgiveness for Deceased Father

A true commentary, looking for closure that doesn't come.

You have long been gone and out of my life
The mental scars on the contrary are there to stay.
It took many years of rework to accept who I am
And not to judge myself harshly as you did.

 

You never knew the hurt and tears from your remarks.
Only through many years of personal study and
Needing acceptance by others and myself
Do I now not need acceptance by others to be content?

 

If I had the chance, the one thing I would to say to you,
I no longer despise or blame you for your inability to love.
I now know that you never wanted to be a father,
And I paid the price - that’s okay, I’ve learned to live with it.

 

Only as an adult can I understand personal consequences
And the burden it can put on those around them.
The words “I love you” will never come from my lips
But, I can now truthfully say I no longer hate you.