Chapter 1 Crazy Beginnings!

Urgh! man! Why did I have to read that book so late last night! The book was very interesting by the way. Murder Mystery,Romance,Humor Drama you name it very interesting.But the reason why I couldn't sleep is because I was nervous about the job interview I needed to go to in the morning. Not that it's a very demanding job, just doing bookkeeping and admin for a bookstore. But its just to keep the store running smoothly. The owner of the store is an old Japanese man who says that he's getting too old to keep up with modern technology and needs someone to handle his store.

Really that got to me, almost everyone these days knows how to use a computer. But that's not all the advert said in the newspaper. It read like this"Old Japanese man needs young person whose hip and cool knows modern technology to help with Bookstore. Please reply Quick! Old age starting to catch up!!

Yeah!That's what it read,very creative.
Beep! Beep!
D****t! My alarm went of!
06:00!!!
I need to be there at 09:00!!! I want to get a taxi at 08:00 to be there in time.
"Lilly!!!"
My grandmother screams from her bedroom window."You’re going to be late girl get a move
on!"

Urgh! Grams why can't you be like all old people and sleep this early in the morning. I thought
while I pulled myself out of bed and went very unwillingly to my bedroom window and shouted back, which was not very loud. I'm not a morning person by the way.
"Good morning to you too mamma! And yes I was already awake!"
My grandmother gives me a scrutinizing look and leans forward and shouts at the top of her
lungs.

"You don't look awake to me, now get ready and I'll get breakfast going!" Was my grandmother
loud response.
"No! It's fine I can make it myself!" I replied back.
But my grandmother was already gone. Urgh! Why is it that my grandparents can still be so
very active and busy at their tender age of 75! That's beyond me! Not that I'm ungrateful. I'm very grateful to God that they're story active and still in my life and that I can spend time with them. Sometimes I worry about them and there are times where they do too much stuff and over exert themselves.

They're in their golden age where they should take it easy, but my
grandma's reply will always be"Lilly my dear girl, you need to go out and be hip and cool like
the youngsters today and go out with friends! Go to a club or something and let loose! You’re in the prime of your life, maybe that way you can catch someone's eye "

Really People...


"Mamma Please! Where did you hear that old people use words like hip or cool and no! i'm not
gonna get loose! I wonder what Mom's gonna say about that"
"Old!!! Young lady! I'm mature and wise and have years of experience on how to catch a guy! I
just want to give you a few tricks. And as for your mother she will approve. How do you think
did you came into this world!" Says my grandmother with a very serious face. My grandmother
of all people! Here I just shut my mouth and keep my reply or comeback to myself. And thought Damn! the old lady is good!

You're probably wondering why I live with my grandparents. I'm not a loafer or a sponger or
whatever you call a person that lives off other people. But the reason is my grandparents live
near town where most of the jobs are. And I'm not a lazy person either, I help them with their
bills, cooking, cleaning etc. And I stay outside in a cottage so I have my own space. And another reason why is that my grandparents practically raised me. My mom was a single mother during most of my childhood year's. I don't know much about my father he visited me and my mom once when I was younger so I don't really remember him.

But my mom got married to a great guy a few years ago. He's name is Dean Samuels and he's a
youth leader and mentor who works with kids that haven't had positive role models in their
lives. I was so happy for them, my mom really deserves someone good in her life. But after they got married my mom sold our old apartment and they bought a new home, but the new house was in another suburb far away from town. And I didn't have a job at the time to get a new apartment for myself. So my mom suggested that I should rent a room at my grandparents until I got a job and save some money for a new place. And I planned ahead when I left for college number one was to get a job then a place of my own.
But life doesn't always go as planned, that's the lesson I learned the hard way when I went for that interview for my new job. So I got up and finished to get ready, then went to the kitchen of the main house to get some breakfast. While I crossed the lawn I thought I heard a humming sound near the back of the house where most of the flowers grow.

"Morning Pappa"

I said when I realised who it was. He was sitting crossed legged with his arms on his knees and
eyes closed in a meditation pose. When I got no response just a "hun" and some humming
sounds. I just shrugged and went on into the kitchen. My grandfather is mostly the calm and
collect person compared to my grandmother’s explosive personality.

"Hi hun, there's some breakfast on the table" my grandmother says while she's busy drinking
some tea.
"Mamma what's pappa doing outside?"
"meditating"
"Oh, but why?"
"I don't know! Now get your feet up and get going!"
And that's what I did because the clock said it was getting late!

Author's Note

Any feedback will be appreciated. All reviews are welcome.

Reviews

[Violet Stone]

Nice first chapter, you did a good job. It was good we got a bit of back story on her but not too much. A couple of bits made me laugh too and I love the humor you worked into it!

Just wanted to say, make sure you don't leave the story entirely to the characters talking. You haven't quite done that but I felt like there was maybe bit too much talking. I could be wrong though.

You could tell us a bit more about her grand parents - what they like doing, how their relationship is (are they lovers or fighters?), do they leave her alone often to go do things etc.

And lastly, make sure the reader knows how she feels. Is she happy? sad? angry? why?

Cant wait for next chapter, hope my review helps. Keep up the great work! x

~ Sincerely, Violet Stone

[yuriko]

I was thinking about the grandparents background myself how I can tell the readers more about them I'm still working on that. I'm not good at describing my main character emotions and feelings but I will work on it and thanks for reviewing :)

[Violet Stone]

I see, well Its good to know your thinking about the grandparents history :)
And im sure you will do great! I dont know if it could help you because every writers different back I try and imagine myself as the character. Put myself in their shoes sort of thing and it tends to help me get an idea of what their feeling. Might help, might not.
None the less, good luck! and your welcome! x

[Violet Stone]

different but*
shoes and that sort of thing*

Sorry, I was rushing a little bit :)

[yuriko]

Thanks so much

[Redwarrior123]

Great start. I love that it is simple and relates to real life keep it up.

[yuriko]

Thanks for the review and the encouragement :)

[Redwarrior123]

Would you mind giving me some feedback on my second chapter titled Hawkeye?

[Redwarrior123]

You are a great writer and I hope to see more of your writing in the future.

[yuriko]

Thanks so much Sure I will take a look at story:)

[Eisho Shu]

Good chapter. This is a good first chapter for sure. There are a few points you needed to explain a bit more in detail. A good example is when Lilly say "Morning Pappa". You were explaining about her family only a second ago but you suddenly jump back into current time. This being me a lot of confusion until I read more and realize she was talking to her grandfather. I do however love the amount of humor you have in this chapter. Over all, fun chapter to read and good work.

[yuriko]

When I wrote this chapter I didn't have more background on the grandparents. And how Lilly 's relationship is with them and the reason why she calls her grandfather"pappa"you're right I switched to early. Thanks for the tip

[Eisho Shu]

Actually I just notice something after I read it again. You do have a transition but it is in the same paragraph. You might want to break that one huge paragraph before "Pappa" into two. I believe that is why I thought something was missing.

[yuriko]

Thanks for the tip