No apologies, Yumna, we all have a right to live our own lives without manipulators pulling our heartstrings
As to your poem, you have always known how to explain your feeling, a keen imagination or - for much of the time, both. Your words are beautifully sad. As you well know, little in life is wasted - however hard. But, it needs to be stored in the 'where to put it index - a guide how to feel those hands intertwined for a wise reason that only you know. Welcome back.