...while you sleep

Spontaneous. Doubts (?)

I wonder 

if I am (still)

 

the distant roar

that travels shyly

past your ears

 

while you sleep. 

 

 

Reviews

[LazerRays]

Hmm this is something that a lot of people who are romantically involved wonder. What do they think of us? and I often wonder this too. But dont worry, im quite sure that the person you question in the poem dreams of you too... and probably mutters your name in their sleep XD haha. I liked this poem a lot, fp :P

[Dr. YumnaKay]

That's nice being reassured ;P Your words here made me smile. Thank you so much for reading and appreciating, Sarah. Glad you like it. xx

[barleygirl]

I can think of only two people in my life where I was thinking of him when I went to sleep & I was thinking of him when I awoke. Your poem paints the night passion connecting these two dream endpoints! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Glad this poem reminded you of someone ;) thank you so much for reading, BG. Appreciated, as always. x

[Aurora]

Sigh this evokes so many feels.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'm glad it made you feel something. Thank you so much for reading, Aurora :)

[Jibey]

A pithy, simply moving capture of our wandering minds. And, yes, the sound remains in the midst of the silence.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your words here, Jibey. Always appreciated.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

my imagination took me to this place...the person is in the afterlife wondering if he or she is still remembered, still heard even if no longer seen, physically...
a memory in the ear....the sound of friendship ....a calming roar.
j.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I like how you take this piece, better than how I made it out to be. Thank you so much for your words here, Jacob.

[Chris Shaw]

Perfectly perfect Dr Y. The number of times those doubts can trouble us. Brevity which says much and leaves little to the imagination. Love the way you have conveyed those feelings.

Chris

[Dr. YumnaKay]

They do often trouble me, though I'm told that they're unnecessary...
I appreciate your words here. Thank you so much for liking, Chris. :)

[Ted Kniffen]

Nicely done, Doc. A lovely bit that resonates on many levels...doubt...love...caring.
Not sure the parentheses around 'still' are necessary.

All in all a great bit of writing.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Oh, I used the parenthesis to signify the quiet, doubtful voice in my head. I'm glad you like it. Thanks so much for appreciating, Ted. :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Such a beautiful, if whimsical short piece filled with wonder and yearning after more what ifs. You capture it is a short piece of well chosen words whose spft tones give elegance and purpose to the reader.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your lovely words here, John. Glad you appreciate.