Fallen Angel

Hmm, a mixture of horror and romance? A challenge. (I think)

        Today, I slept to the sound of rain…

        its pitter-patter, almost, a lullaby

        against my slowly lulling mind.

 

        And, in my dreams,

        your eyes followed my every move…

        sneakily deceptive.

 

       “I will suffocate you, Fallen Angel!”

        your eyes cautioned…

        dangerously alluring.

 

        I cannot absorb all of you all at once;

        only take you in, little-by-little,

 

        until I am no more…

        myself, but an empty shell,

        containing all 

        …of You.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

The image is interesting Dr Y, and your lines certainly convey a touch of horror. They speak to me almost of obsession where one party totally consumes the other. to the extent that they lose themselves altogether. I would say it was romance gone wrong. Well conveyed.

Chris

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I like your words here. There's indeed a fine line between obsession and love.
Glad you found this one interesting. Thank you so much for appreciating :)

[Chris Shaw]

You are most welcome :)

[lightsong]

beautiful my friend, beautiful... and in my opinion You finely painted what's a dream is like,

"suffocate you...

I cannot absorb all of you all at once;
only take you in, little-by-little"

those images just sent my mind into the dreams world, they give a perfect feeling to a dream, I didn't see Your poem as a real horror but a deeply sensual one, and when You sleep dreaming into that depth, You will have some deep mysterious feelings, and it will give You chills even after You wake up. Your first verse is gorgeous, I love it very much. You did great job here dear Yumna, perfect in all ways, well done my talented poetess, You always give me that feeling that You have so many words to say... and You better keep on wiring them down little by little :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ah, it does have sensuality hidden under the waffle ;) your review here is beautiful too, dear friend. I find that I'm not often in control of my words..
Thank you so much for appreciating this one :))

[Neville]

I agree entirely with your own description.. a got a little chill down me spine .. great picture too.. :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Glad to have given you that effect, N ;) thank you so much for liking and reading :))

[Neville]

always a pleasure & always mine :)

[andrew mitchell]

Very polished Doc. Very well executed, love the imagery, the flow, the format. Hats off to you on such fine work.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for appreciating, Andrew. Glad you like it :)

[Richard🖌]

Gorgeously rendered, Doc!
Beginning with the eye and appreciative art-catching picture choice, down through the font and color, excellently written moments of sheer image-laden emotion, metaphoric motion, and syntax smooth as silk speaking out to us in a message clear and concise, with punctuation and line-breaks spot-on … a fine, all-around presentation!
Super nice Free Versing, Poetess!
Then, how amazingly original you've poetically conveyed the sensations of being completely overwhelmed by another, whom has the kind of power that can steal the mind, heart, and soul away. Whew! I can virtually feel the sensations of being emptied and refilled by something far less than desirable and/or comfortable … almost demonic … certainly the epitome of a painfully debilitating experience!
It is so very exciting how you seem to flourish in skill and dimension with every write … I am so proud of you and impressed how you never give-up on your efforts and dedication to the art! : )

Kudos, Yumna -- you really stuck the ending, too!
I thank you most gratefully for another very enjoyable and entertaining piece from your very capable pen. ⁓ Richard

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for this lovely review and for appreciating, Richard. I'm humbled :)

[Richard🖌]

Always, a pleasure.