Trick'ling ~ a thousand tears

Swap Quatrains. A learning experiment.

Trick'ling ~ a thousand tears

With head in clouds, a girl was she,

desiring her heart to be free;

thus, shying 'way from thoughts 'n crowds,

a girl was she, with head in clouds.

Alone, she travelled far and wide,

letting the stars her path decide;

blooming music soon unravelled,

far and wide, alone she travelled.

As nighttime fell, with wintry glow,

a softly windward kiss she'd blow,

and hues so blurred would cast a spell

with wintry glow, as nighttime fell.

Oh, the moon shone then, up above,

sparkling crystals of buried love,

as songs lament her heart's intone;

then, up above, oh, the moon shone.

No longer found, the voices heard,

distance remained, without a word ...

her soul still ached, as time unwound,

the voices heard, no longer found.

Trick'ling her face, a thousand tears;

she wrapped her heart around her fears.

Mem'ries played back and interlaced ...

a thousand tears trick'ling her face.

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

I love your experiments, your expressions, opening your poetic mind to so many wondrous variants. Here you voice such a tenderness, so a beautiful melancholy. One feels the magic of the lights in darkness all around and the suffering soul being released in every sacred tear. Enchanted.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I love working on new poetry forms to push myself out of my comfort zone :) while writing this piece, I was strongly reminded of the collab I wrote with you, which still remains one of my most favourite pieces and which does feel similar to this write.
Thank you so much for appreciating this experiment here, Craig. :))

[An owl on the moon]

Ah, smiling so much... that is one of my favorite pieces too. I am very thankful you continue to press the boundaries of who you are, to know there is so much more of you. :))

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

So beautiful- sometimes alone is the most understood place we can be - the emptiness of the sky and stars speaks a million words - the loudest voices are heard in the silence of the night- the light faced then moon shines the way - we know we feel we trust- wonderful and unique🌹

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your lovely words here and for appreciating this piece, my friend :)

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

How could one not appreciate- only a honour🌹

[Melissa]

I really enjoyed this poem. I love the consistency and restraint you showed working within the form you chose. It's a classic form and subject done beautifully.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Aye, it was interesting challenging for me to work through this form since I usually don't write rhyming poetry. I'm glad you enjoyed. Thank you so much :)

[Richard🖌]

Yumna,
Spot-on syntax, rhyme, rhythm, and flow … one would be hard-pressed, indeed, to find a more eloquently stroked, deeply emotional, or beautifully rendered Swap Quatrain than this.
Your metaphor and imagery virtually dance upon the page, up into our minds, hearts, souls, and emotions in such a way the impact is deeply palpable to the senses, but these kind of moments seem to be the hallmark to many of your most excellent writings.
Picture selection, font choice, and gentle color set the perfect mood, and highlight your moments to come … what a lovely work of poetic art, Yumna!

Thank you most gratefully for sharing and for allowing me to offer a wee hint here and there … big hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You humble me with your extravagant praise, Richard! I'm grateful to have you as my mentor for poetry lessons :D thank you so much for teaching me this particular form and all the help ;)

[Richard🖌]

Nothing extravagant in my words, Yumna,
I express recognition of only that which you've labored for, legitimately earned, and shared with us.
Teaching and helping you is a true pleasure … I thank You, as-well. : )