On Giving Constructive Reviews

A rant mainly.

Giving out reviews is never easy. Especially if you mean it in a good, constructive way. 

During my time here in the cafe, I've always tried to give honest opinions regarding writes although I've been guilty too of reciprocating the ones who reviewed me in the past. 

Here's what I don't understand. When you leave a review commenting on a writer's lack of grammar/feel of the write, etc while also pointing out the positive aspects of that piece, they thank you. Then they ask you to point out the errors. When you do so, they end up offended somehow because 10 other reviewers did not see those obvious errors. 

The hilarious thing comes when you get a friend request from them after that and a private message offering thanks for the effort you made on pointing out their mistakes. Afterall, they want to make their poetry more poetic. (keep in mind that I asked them not to follow the edits if they didn't want to). After thanking you immensely, you get unfriended and when you check to see the edits--ta-da--the piece you pointed out the mistakes on is deleted. 

The above scenario was what happened with me recently by a writer here. It makes me question where do new writers here stand in improving their writing skills (that is, if they really want to improve it), and where reviewers like me stand when we're kept being treated this way by immature writers on a platform like WritersCafe. Not meaning to offend anyone by this but my advice to the newbies - keep an open mind while posting a piece and especially if you specifically ask someone to review it or they take the time to review it for you. Keep in mind and observe the tone of the reviewer to judge whether they're genuine or trollish or simply the reciprocating ones. That's easy enough to notice. 

Not meaning to brag either, but my time here in the cafe in the past 1 1/2 years is what gave me the courage to be open about things and improve myself as a writer which is what the constructive reviews are for. 

Thank you for reading. 

Author's Note

Just my personal opinion and an opening for discussion. I'm not in the least bit offended or bothered by what happened but just wanted to put it out there. I'd love to hear differing opinions. And of course, I'll continue giving reviews the way I usually do :D

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

I don't give detailed and constructive feedback about structure etc unless I know that person well. Over years I have found that writers can get very upset about their precious lines. I prefer to give feedback on how a poem gets to me on an emotional level. If someone wants more specific help, then they can ask for it.

Chris

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I realized that too during my time here and for a while stopped giving reviews but it's hard to ignore when someone asks you on a pm. Other than that, yes, that is how I approach a piece of writing mainly too.
Thank you for your thoughts here, Christine. Appreciated.

[Chris Shaw]

I am new here, two months only. As I get to know people better, I may change my stance.

[Lavi]

These things are probably part of the reason that I am so selective in who I pick as friends here. The last time I corrected someone's grammar it turned out it was a computer thing. People who put, "don't mind my grammar" I don't bother to correct, and most things I do read and like by leaving a review don't usually have anything that needs correcting. Whomever did this to you was obviously to sensitive to being wrong or having a lick of humility. Just let it bounce off you, clearly their words have no construction to them.
On another note, if someone gets particularly annoying or nasty I always pull out my sarcastic self. And if that doesn't work just delete and block them. I don't have to do it often but it is there in case it is needed.
Do continue to correct people's grammar though, lest they tell you to excuse it. If they're touchy then don't stress about it. It just means it's best not to befriend them, haha.
Take care,
(sincerely your silently-correcting-your-grammar friend)
- Lavi

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Lately, I've been doing the same but just 'slipped' and tried giving a constructive review instead of choosing a well written piece to review. Lol
I agree with you here, anyone who chooses to ignore criticism either think too much of themselves or nothing at all. Dk which one is scary though...!
:D thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I always enjoy your reviews. :))

[Gee]

I tend not to do read requests, am grateful (surprised) to receive the reviews that I do get, but will hold my hands up and openly admit I am absolutely crap at reviewing, unless being daft. As for friend requests , these on the whole are to garner a review methinks.
I'm currently blocked by a couple of pens on here and haven't a clue why, but, hey ho, each to their own.
Like this piece Doc, should get some good responses.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I don't do read requests often but it's kinda hard for me to ignore when I get a pm asking to review a piece of writing. I agree about the friend request part. Lately, I don't accept friend requests from anyone new except if I've seen them active around here and since the said one was... But lesson learned lol
Just block 'em back, that's what I do :P
Thank you for your thoughts here, Gee. Hopefully the message 'sinks in' with some readers here. Glad you like it :))