I rose a thousand feet ~ wingless ...

Experimental poetry.

I rose a thousand feet,

the distance between us

more pronounced than ever,

your commas underlining the tension.

I rose a thousand feet,

my tears bludgeoning through,

akin to a million tides, your

dulcet presence ~ a promise enclosed.

I rose a thousand feet, wingless;

I find haven, at last.

Reviews

[Lavi]

Last line kinda threw me in terms of being able to relate to it but I do like the story of it. A bit sad but what isn't? Haven wouldn't be a haven if we didn't crave an escape, no?

As for the rest of the poem, I love how you structured it with rising a thousand feet; wingless. Gives incredible imagery and gets the reader thinking on the Hows. The feelings. That sort of thing. But the tension, oh, that reminds me how my relationships often go. The distance created between each other when one rises or falls (a thousand feet or so) while the other remains the same.

Amazing write. I love your work, it gets me thinking.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

And your reviews leave me thinking too, I like that. I'm glad you like the structure. I'm still experimenting in terms of that and can't settle with one.
I like what you said about the distance thing; that's often the case.
Thank you so much for appreciating this piece, Lavi. :))

[Island Hippy]

Graceful, powerful and so poetic, we all need some where to slip away to for a time. Then emerge a new. Lovely poetry.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your lovely words, Izzy. Glad you appreciate :)

[andrew mitchell]

You rose above the sadness, shining through!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hello, Andrew. Been a while since I read any of your stuff :x
Thank you for reading this piece and your words. Very much appreciated. :)

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

the rising of both the spirit and the soul in triumph is so mesmerizing. I am always in awe and humbled by miraculous presence.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for reading and your words here, Queenie.

[Chris Shaw]

This poem gives me the feeling of escaping, rising into the thermals to experience a safe haven. Your lines are truly poetic and the image you posted has a quality all of its own. Nice work.

Chris

[Dr. YumnaKay]

That's how I intended this write to be. I like that pic too :)
I'm glad you feel it's poetic. Thank you much for your lovely words, Christine. Appreciated.

[Chris Shaw]

You are very welcome :))

[Kumarmani Mahakul]

Rising thousand feet with amazing effort still being wingless is an amazing act but this is not impossible to fly and find heaven. Finally you have found heaven. An amazing poem is very brilliantly penned. Rating...100

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for reading and appreciating.

[Jon Roggie]

I like this.
Now,
having reached a thousand feet,
time to unfurl your wings,
and fly.

Couldn't resist.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Wish it were that easy though :x
I'm glad you like it, Jon. Thank you so much for reading and adding your words here. Appreciated :)

[Traci]

So few words, yet ones filled with lovely imagery and emotion. Cannot wait to read more from you.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Glad to have you reading my words, Traci. Thank you so much for aporeciating :)

[00000000000000000000000..]

A rise in beauty. Even if the rise was taken to a different place it is still special:)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your lovely words. Appreciated. :)

[0000000000000000000000000000]

:) You are truly welcome:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Gentle, powerful and worthwhile words dear friend. We must arise the chaos to know some kind of peace. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for liking this one, John. Appreciate your words here. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.