Withering ~ in the shades

Inspired.

I stacked a pile of vacant feelings, 

you left my heart, withering; 

in the shades, I am tired, 

so tired. 

I feel the hungry stares 

boring in upon me, salivating. 

I have given way to temptations, 

fallen prey and dismantled in the process. 

Looking up, I saw fate bare its hands, 

stroking my temples -- goodbye.

Reviews

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

To stack a pile of vacancy is like asking if water is wet. How can it be wet if it was never dry? How can it be vacant if it was never full? So, what are you really stacking here? Is it really the vacancy in your feelings, or just the recollection of yourself? One part of your body at a time. Oh, I think k I know exactly what.

And I feel exactly as you write.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ah, I wish. I wish I really knew. I think some things go beyond explainable.
Glad you can relate. Thank you for reading, J. Appreciated.

[barleygirl]

That first line is so brilliant, I keep re-reading it, trying to absorb your mojo for my own selfish purposes *wink! wink!* Using the word "withering" is also a brilliant move, precisely becuz it's the opposite of how many wailing heartbreak poems go. You can only go thru high drama so many times & then the sad string of romantic failures turns into the withering you so aptly describe! *sigh!* fondly, Margie

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Being self-critical, when I wrote this one I considered it one of my weakest pieces, but your review boosted up my confidence :D Thank you so much for appreciating this one, BG. I'm glad you like it :))

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Those vacant feelings- sending emotions reeling- need to be gotten out there expressed put to the test then the true result will be known- emotions stacked become a shack of built up hurts and anger and tears the soul apart- faceing up to it is sometimes best otherwise we need to return to that pile down the road and sort it out again- might not be so nice- face it Handel it - say goodbye.. love these words🌹

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Aye, so we do. I feel it's a continuous cycle mostly...
thank you so much for appreciating, Thoughts in Time :)

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

My pleasure and Thankyou for your wonderful words🌹

[SleeplessVolcano]

Vacant feelings......what an apt description.....in my mind's eye I see a parking lot, resembling a human heart, which once may have been parked full with all sorts of colorful emotions....but now, it's just empty....

I feel the fatigue too.....lovely expression. Makes me want to crawl into bed again....:)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Interesting visual. Thank you so much for appreciating. I hope you caught up with your sleep, Sleepless Volcano ;) :)

[emmajoy]

Seems a means to an end, sorting, searching for something - perhaps anything that's been irksome, irritatating. Temptation is a necessity so many of us regret but.. but.. saying goodbye to it is pointless.. tis like learning what a smile means then crying over thefact you gave it to the wrong person. What's done is done.. seems you words try to say. That final word isn't really the final word because dear you, what is seen as good, is just that. Your writing really touches the mind, Yumna.. as does your latest avatar. x

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"tis like learning what a smile means then crying over thefact you gave it to the wrong person." I like what you said here, Emma. But I also think we mainly remain in a dilemma over what could be or couldn't be. ..
Your thoughts here do touch me as well and made me think. Thank you so much

[emmajoy]

Everything comes to she who waits, dear you. x