Absence

Spontaneous write. Inspired.

I wake,

as the sun glares

in your absence;

a gaping hole,

ever increasing

in my chest

and as pieces of me

scatter

along the way,

my lips forgot

to smile ...

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

This place of absence is pure agony, dear poet. It is as if the sunlight came to barren, dry roots, and the light only took away the breath from your soul. This is when I hope such pain is only divine creativity flowing through you and not scars of experience speaking.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Often enough, my darker sides take hold of me, that is where this piece derives from too... Thank you so much for your empathetic words, Craig. Appreciated.

[An owl on the moon]

May you always find those gathered near you who love the light of you, and the darkness of you too. These are the sacred friends who will journey with you in summer as well as winter, dear Yumna.

[Chris Shaw]

I haven't felt like this for years, but I have felt it, and understand the agony of being alone when your soul is away with the one you love. That absence is painful. Can remember clock watching until he returned. A lovely piece of brevity Yumna.

Chris

[barleygirl]

This poem doesn't sound like a sentiment that would come from you, but many poets express such a feeling of emptiness at someone's absence. As I recall much of your writing that I've read, I see you as a person who wouldn't be emotionally dependent on another person to a great degree. So I find it interesting for you to write a poem like this & it reminds me to try to tackle viewpoints that are not mine. It's a great test for a writer's empathy! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[lightsong]

few words, yet You convey the emotions deeply as they should be... I believe that's the specialty about Your style and pen, few words, yet the emotions strong and emotive, let it be, sadness or pain, tender longing or dreaming... well done my friend!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You are always so generous in your reviews, dear friend. Humbles me every time. .. Thank you so much for appreciating xx

[lightsong]

You are welcome my friend, I always try to be honest but kind :)

[Neville]

No doubt about it
When less is more
Good just got better
A splendid little work of poetic art................Neville

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your lovely words, Neville. Appreciated :)

[Neville]

Pleasure............Neville

[emmajoy]

You write with amazing feeling - whether sad, whether happy, you know exactly how. ' .. my lips forgot to smile ... ' So wish whether gift or truth, these word had a happier ending. Hugs, as always.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Sometimes I do voice what I truly feel and it comes out in bouts of spontaneity like this... thank you so much for appreciating, Em.
Hugs back

[jacob erin-cilberto]

lips that have no contact with our loved one...they tend to turn the smile upside down.
j.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Nicely worded. Thank you, Jacob.

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

That feeling of that missing part- our soul longs and searches for- never stop believing- miracles happen when we believe and the puzzle becomes whole when we least expect- wonderful words 🌹

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I like your thoughts here and the way you interpreted this piece. Thank you so much for reading and appreciating :)