Facade

Self reflections. Merely a get out, written hastily...

I reflect too often on self ... less often on others and seldom on how my -self- affects others; on how my decisions never include anyone else except my -self- ...

I question my existence and the meaning behind every effort I make, every step I take --- seems meaningless as I trudge along the constantly breaking and half mending strings of life.

And everyday, the half moons under my eyes scream silent screams reminding to make yet another futile attempt because in the end it's me who has to make an effort...

Perhaps I am selfish, self indulgent to the point that I've become immune to the presence of those surrounding me...

Sometimes, it's an overwhelming experience to keep up a facade and dissolve your true -self-

Reviews

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Introspection is a deeper and a greater phenomenon than we give it credit for.
Humans are lucky for the kind of intelligence they enjoy. But this blessing of being able to study oneself often turns into a curse when one loses oneself in the dark alleys of their own mind.
Profound and evocative.
Great work!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I so agree about it being a curse - you feel trapped in your mind but I think it's healthy if you know how to balance, only some achieve that balance though...
Thank you for your insight here and for appreciating, Jyoti. (:

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

You are welcome. I enjoyed it. :)

[alan peter kelly]

I am not trapped
in my mind.
I am trapped
in my body.

[alan peter kelly]

If every step seems meaningless
then
as projection

every step
IS
meaningless.

Whenever I go
shopping
the non gender
specific
checkout
human
asks
if I want
a bag
for the goods
I’ve just purchased

I usually say
by way of jest
and sad truth

No

the bags
under my eyes
will do.


Nowadays
I reflect
upon my place
and what I can do
to contribute..

selfishness
seems more
the domain
of wasted
youth.

I am not
immune
to people

I generally
genuinely
and usually
with valid
reason

do not like them.

Your articulations
are inspiring.

I will be back
to feed my mind
spirit
creative soul
again.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I think the same holds true for myself re not liking people, although I admit I can be sometimes biased too... thank you so much for your thoughts and for reading this one, alan. I appreciate it.

[emmajoy]

A deep look at self is never a bad idea, it's a way of finding one's strengths and weaknesses. and, having found the odd one or few, tis then time to think.

Rarely peep at others' reviews, no point in being here if to copy others. But, interesting that Annette, with whom i usually agree, thinks differently from me!! But, okay, because in the end, Yumna, you're entitled to think your own thoughts and - unless desperate for advice, need work out what's best for you, or, rather, what's likely to work for you. Sometimes being aware of something is a nudge, to look closer, deeper. Perhaps?

Said too much but your fine writing lures. Your thoughts have set me thinking, feeling, wondering .. doing what you seem to be doing, questioning one's existence, whether or not it's used wisely, kindly. A facade is often considered a kindness to the onlooker.. and, at times, even kinder a veil for the person behind the facade..

[Dr. YumnaKay]

The more I ponder over your words here, it actually is what I feel. About what you said about the facade, I think that gave way to new thoughts and has somehow helped my restless mind rest a little so thank you for that, Emma. Truly appreciate your insight here. x

[emmajoy]

That's what friends are for, Yumna. Might not be able to cure but at least can be a temporary Linus blanket! Hope your day runs smoothly, that life's kind to you. :)

[Tony Jordan]

As beings of light we are capable of emitting and absorbing light; and 'bending' light of others
quite accidentally to varying degrees so should we therefore turn away or make ourselves smaller so as not to be as impactful to the light of others.
I say radiate even more and then they will aspire to be a beacon too !!
Just remember there's always an electric bill at the end !
I wouldnt have the 'backbone' to put a write like this in print because it seems so private. You're inspiring Yumna!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'm probably very sleepy seeing as I only understood your last line :p yes, this is very personal and kinda inspired by a convo with a friend. I'm glad you found it/me inspiring :) ;) thank you, Tony 😊

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Deeply ntrospective and insightful poem. So true, we all keep up a "facade" in our daily life for many, many layers of reasons. In reading your work dear friend, I know that you are a sensitive, compassionate soul and not "immune" to others. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Perfectionism is a curse and a robber of sleep. We do the best we can, and if not enough, aim for better the next time. Wishing you peace, light and undisturbed sleep! :)xo

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I wish I wasn't but reflecting deep I know I am...but you're so right, perfectionism seems like a terrible curse...
Thank you so much for your lovely words and wishes, Annette. I appreciate it and am humbled. x