Labyrinthine

Experimental. Inspired. Evening scribbles.

in the sweet offing

of our love

the stars in your eyes

hold gossamer tears

ineffably; broken

in the sweet offing

of our love

your voice, mellifluous;

clings like a hazy mist,

labyrinthine; fragmented

in the sweet offing

of our love

Author's Note

Not sure about this. Might be tinkering with it later...

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

Oh I dunno. I'd be very satisfied with producing this one Yumna. Spontaneity I feel is closest thing to our true Self - isn't that why the shrinks do that 'word association' game/exercise?
Overall this is a delicate piece that might float away altogether without the fastenings of the refrain.
:))

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I did write this at first without a refrain, only including that line at the end of the poem but since my current mood is of adding refrains, si I did lol :p
Thank you for appreciating, Tony. Your song did inspire this 😉😊

[Tony Jordan]

Aha.
So this period of time will be recorded in your bio as 'Her refrain episode' ?
Tis a strange song I thought when it first came out but it grew on me like ivy to a wall - no like a climbing rose on a trellis - no like the fur of mold on cheese - a real ear-worm of a tune and a great name for a rapper too.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Though I'm not fond of rap but I must admit that song has a nice rhythm ;) maybe the title adds on to it lol
And 'refrain episode' seems more like it because I'm kinda trying to 'refrain' from writing these days hahah 😛😂

[Tony Jordan]

REFRA1N of Life - an acrostic - R.ushing E.ver F.orward R.emaining A.t 1 N.ode... of Life

[Dr. YumnaKay]

That's interesting! Which reminds me I haven't tried acrostics yet idk feels too restricting to me lol :p

[Tony Jordan]

Yeah I think they have limited ap-peal, like bananas.

I personally find them to be like Limericks and such - kind of novelty items.
*insert here an old fashioned smiley even before :) *

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I was searching up old fashioned smileys lol didn't find any except this: 😛

[Tony Jordan]

:{D - note old fashioned handlebar moustache

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked this poem as-is. You set-up each emotion with delicate words and the meaning was sweet and clear. Perfect flow of thoughts led to the strong ending. Thank you dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Coyote. Glad you like the emotions here (:

[Coyote Poetry]

I did and you are welcome dear poet.

[Ken Simm.]

It speaks well of your skills that you can use such words with such skill and flow as in this verse. And I don't think it needs much by way of tinkering.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for appreciating this write and my skills, Ken. I'm humbled (:

[Giulia King]

Evening scribbles are the best! I like this one. It's not one of your best pieces but it has a certain charm to it that I really like.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I agree, it ain't the best but I felt like writing it for the moment ;P
I'm glad you liked it, Gullia. Thank you for appreciating