In midnight blue ...

Experimenting with rhyming for a change...

~ In midnight blue, she draped and strolled ~

Thinking of the nights past gone,

the times when the world seemed oh, so bright;

and feelings were what gave her delight.

All now left was just remorse, 

remembrance of past doings made her fraught;

and regret was ~ her only thought.

~ in midnight blue, she draped and strolled ~

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

This takes me back to a time
when all I did was rhyme
Then I embraced free verse
I don't know which was worse !! lmao xD

I like how the opening and closing lines could almost be the edges of the path along which this sad and contemplative walk occurs Yumna.

Yes it's nice to see rhymes - sometimes...
:)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Haha I think you're good at anything you try ;)
Let's just say I was bored and rhyming came off as a solution for that lol

Thank you for liking, Tony. I hope you are well 😊💜

[Tony Jordan]

I too find my creativity spins little rhymes when I'm bored - sometimes I even share them with the wider world and then I get 'that look' - lol - the one that says 'hmmm....okay...'
I am good at trying - and being trying.

I'm grand Yumna. Hope you are too...?

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hmmm lol I don't think I've seen anyone giving you that 'look' 😎😛😛

I think I'm just good in trying - people's patience 😂😂

I am kinda :)

[Tony Jordan]

You should be an expert in handling 'patients' by now Yumna ;)
(see what I did there haha)

[Tony Jordan]

The local radio station disc-jockey surely gave 'that look' last night haha. He said a certain songwriter was 'clever' for writing lyrics that rhymed with the name 'Lydia' (Dean Friedman) and I texted in saying that wasn't a hard name to rhyme to and I included the rhyme
Lydia oh Lydia
You gave me chlamydia
I'm on antibiotics
And i glad I got rid of ya!

To which he said ON AIR - "You're a very bad man, Tony!!" - lol

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hahahaha lmao too funny, TJ! 😂
If this really happened then you are a bad man indeed to rhyme Lydia with Chlamydia 😎😛😂

[Tony Jordan]

Certainly did happen - just last night. haha
I dont think he'll be reading my texts in a hurry.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Lmao which makes me think you're probably really good at making badass rhymes for female names hahah 😂😛

[Tony Jordan]

It's one of those skills that we wish we didnt have - lol - like being able to make farts under our armpits or being able to lick our eyebrows...totally useless but good for a chuckle.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I can do neither haha 😛😛 but yeah I can imagine you being good at that too ;) :p

[Tony Jordan]

I can do one of them but the other is a physical impossibilty and comes from this scene in "Earth Girls Are Easy"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02M7Sg_vvQk

[Jacob Clifford]

Very elegant wording and rhymes. The beautiful image and the calm blue font set the scene and tone, and the content matched perfectly.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for appreciating. Glad you like it (:

[Nigel Newman]

I like the way you close and end on the same phrase. I've seen this in a few of your poems, and I like its looping back to say 'this is what I was talking about when I said it at the start'.

Those of a certain age and musical taste will remember Gladys Knight singing 'The way we were', which she starts with words very similar to your V1. As I read this my musical memory went back.

Not knowing what things your 'she' was regretting makes this a little hard. On lots of levels we have all done things we later regret, sometimes for years, but you just have to get on and try to be as best you can. That said, I have to acknowledge that there may be some 'past doings' that will forever haunt, and the quiet of midnight is just the time they may re-surface. Nicely done!

Regards Nigel

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'm glad you noticed that. It's more of an attempt to make my pieces more open ended if I want to continue it further and of course what you point out here.
Thank you for your interpretation of this piece, Nigel. Glad you like it 😊

[William Liston]

Ahh, this is so refreshing to read. Beautiful image and font (blue is my favorite color) and smooth, calming words to match.
I very much enjoyed the rhyming in how it made the piece feel musical. Does this piece fit a particular form or did it originate within you .... I love the structure and may give it a whirl myself.

- William Liston

[Dr. YumnaKay]

It did originate out of nowhere 'cause I didn't really have a structure in mind when I first wrote it. I only split it into two stanzas after I'd written the whole piece and then realized it took this form.

Coming from you, that you enjoyed the structure and rhyming, is indeed a compliment for me. Thank you for appreciating, William. I'd love to read what you write in this particular form :))

[Ty]

Very calm, subtle, fluid write. Enjoyed it.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed 😊

[Kesha]

I really enjoy this piece! Short,& elegant, I like the rhymes here too!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Lol I thought rhyming would be fun for a change, glad it worked. Thank you for appreciating 😊😊

[Kesha]

Haha yeah I can't rhyme worth crap so you did wonderful :) and you're welcome :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

I think your rhymes work well. Sometimes a good rhyme gives emphasis to the meaning. Hence 'bright delight' turns into 'fraught thought', as she strolls along, draped in midnight blue. What a clever poem, and a joy to read.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for liking, GAA. I appreciate your words here 😊

[Mr.Writer]

Wow, a breathtaking poem with beautiful imagery and mix of emotions involved...
I really enjoyed reading this Yumna!
Well done, keep it up!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Shaan :)

[Mr.Writer]

No problem :)

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Love the beautiful "Blue Lady" image and wistful poem. Eloquent, elegant and sad. Lovely flow and rhyme- good job with that my friend! Brava!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Annette. I'm glad you like this effort. I appreciate your words here 😊

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Come to life sorry typo
Great poem