The Keeper of My Demise

As always, experimental...

~ words fail me ~

as I struggle to keep on with your pace, I gasp for breath but no air comes and you, the keeper of my demise, lunge forward; my lungs ready to collapse in your heady scent...  

the fiery blades of your eyes unleashing what you had held within for so long, piercing the sides of me... your penetrating gaze did what the softness in them could not; a while back

              ~ words fail me ~             

Reviews

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

We are our own keepers besides He who’s made us- to be controlled by any other is like selling our souls to control- being broken controlled and manipulated is not what we are born for but to encourage bless inspire and by doing this we fly free- we all are at different levels stages but it is said that no one is better than the other - we are all the same but given different responsibilities- deep thoughts and touching write- 🌹

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I agree with your words here..and yet, there are some who give away themselves at the expense of losing everything they were. ..
Thank you so much for your insight here. Appreciated.

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

Pleasure- just the way I see things- guess each to their own- but there’s a thin line between good and bad I believe 🌹

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

idk is it right to give ones self away? some days I think id give my soul to save another because that is what is meant and other days I think I must keep every ounce of myself just to stay alive. It's beautiful and tragic all at the same time.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I agree..some things don't seem like they're ever under our control though...
Thank you so much for your thoughts here, Queenie. Appreciated.

[Judy Emery/ Lilly Emery]

This sounds like my own life story. I just written one about Anxiety, I do hope you stop by my page and read it and you will find I do understand what it is you have written.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'll be sure to visit your page and that piece of yours. Thank you for reading and your words here.

[barleygirl]

I'm often left feeling a little "wanting" when reading poems this brief . . . but in this case, you've packed so much feeling & used so much vivid imagery, it creates an impactful message despite being brief. Your writing is always original-sounding, which is very important to me.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I've been practicing to create an impression using few words. Glad that impact found it's way towards you. Thank you, BG. Always appreciate your words on my pieces :)

[emmajoy]

What extravagant language, utterly mesmerising and so much the reflection of your emotions. This is quite something, Yumna - perhaps a peep into your heart?

[Dr. YumnaKay]

These were indeed words I wrote from the shadowy dark corners of my heart, Emma. But you know me well, I think...
Thank you for feeling this write.

[emmajoy]

We show selves to those who deserve to see... :)

Off and away now... hope you smile more and more and more today..

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Of course. And I will 😉😊 hoping the same for you as well 😊

[Mr.Writer]

Such words that sparkle our eyes and makes it feel really nice to read...
Well done Yumna
Keep it up :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Shaan. Glad you like it :)

[Kathryn Smith]

Oh my Yumna..this is so raw. Well written. It seems when we are hurt our best pieces come out...(but then again all your writing is amazing.) Love you!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ahh I wouldn't say it's best but yeah certainly from a dark corner of my heart.. Thank you so much for feeling the emotions here, Kat. Love ya too :*

[Kesha]

Wow another stunning write... great piece! You describe how it feels to be in love with someone that you just can't seem to keep up with.. wonderful!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

It seems like it yeah.. thank you again. Glad you like it, Kesha :)

[Kesha]

You're very welcome :)

[Ken Simm.]

That last line is obviously not true, Yumna. Words do not fail you.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

They do, too often. Thank you for the kind comment, Ken. I appreciate it :)