Commitment

Experimenting with breaking words.

Love was ~

 

perhaps never

my thing

 

or

 

maybe commit

ment

 

was never

yours ...

Reviews

[William Liston]

A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

[Dr. YumnaKay]

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.
Hmm, again, your suggestion does have merit. Thank you for your critique as well as appreciating this experimental write, William :)

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Some people view commitment as an obligation that restricts freedom of their actions. They are not ready for a true relationship … Loved the message conveyed in a brevity of strong poetic text! :-)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I totally agree on that point. Thank you for your thoughts here and for liking, Phill 😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, that is it now...love is not my thing...commitment was at one time...well more than one time...but now?

commitment to less complications...

i like this.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I like your thoughts on this. Thank you for appreciating, Jacob.

[Mr.Writer]

Woah! Those couple of words are really deep Yumna! Amazing job Yumna!
Keep it up

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for appreciating, Shaan. Glad you liked it. 😊

[Mr.Writer]

No problem

[Kelly Scheppers]

The brevity of this is something I truly admire. I'd say you nailed it!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for appreciating, Kelly. 😊

[wordman]

if it`s real, you melt into one another

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Probably yes... Thank you for your words here.

[RannunculusBlooms]

SALTY OML but this is great nonetheless

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you :)

[duff]

Ouch. Pure venom rolling off the tongue. Its incredible how a few words can have a direct hit to the core. Put up or shut up. Love the attitude. Nice job!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I love your interpretation here. Thank you for appreciating, duff. 😊

[duff]

You're welcome. Anytime.

[Najam Us Saher]

So deep. I really liked it.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Najam. Glad you did 😊

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.