Commitment

Experimenting with breaking words.

Love was ~

 

perhaps never

my thing

 

or

 

maybe commit

ment

 

was never

yours ...

Reviews

[William Liston]

A nice experiment. I may try something like this myself.
I think breaking the word "commitment" was a good choice; it helped symbolize the character's broken relationship. The brevity, line breaks, and ellipsis at the end really help the piece resonate. Though, I suggest wording the last line as "was never yours" because I think the word "never" adds more emphasis than "wasn't." Other than that, I've nothing to critique. Well done.

- William Liston

[Dr. YumnaKay]

That was what I tried to convey through the breaking of that word. I'm glad you could relate the two.
Hmm, again, your suggestion does have merit. Thank you for your critique as well as appreciating this experimental write, William :)

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Piercing words, how it resembles such truth, either love or commitment have to ensemble the party of 2

[Dr. YumnaKay]

True indeed. And we fail so often..

[Priyanshi]

Presentation of words is superb....even the lines are too good and enough to explain what you want to say....I loved it.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for appreciating :)

[Priyanshi]

My pleasure, friend.

[Island Hippy]

Aloha Yumna, very elegant with a dash of hard truth! I like the kind of slap to the face this has :)
In my vast experience (jk) if love is the foundation then commitment is a given not an obligation that comes later on. Izzy

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Deep thoughts even if you are kidding 😉😊
Thank you, Izzy. Appreciate your words here 😊

[girlontop]

Nice! Well written well worded. I enjoy it very much!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed :)

[Maxwell Ryder]

Perhaps it was a commitment thing.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Perhaps is the word alright..
Thank you.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

"Commit
ment"
Excell
Ent!!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for appreciating, Annette :))

[Kesha]

Short and yet kind of heartbreaking... it's always hard being with someone when it feels like they don't want to be around you/speak to you.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Yeah, it does feel like it..
Thank you for your thoughts here, Kesha. Appreciate it 😊

[Kesha]

You're welcome :)

[Surya]

Much to.learn from few...:)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

True, there always is.. Thank you :)

[Surya]

My plsr...:)

[Luna]

Beautiful ...................... I'm sorry........ I have no words to explain how these words hit me. You are a very romantic person for thinking of such deep words I'm already drowning in them. I loved every word. Thank you for sharing :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Oh I don't think I am ;) :p
Thank you for your warm words of appreciation, Luna. Truly means a lot 😊

[Luna]

Maybe you don't think you are but warm words only come out of warm hearts so give yourself some credit for what you did in this piece .
Your welcome :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ahh you have a way with making me reflect over my words 😛

[Luna]

lol XD glad to hear you did ;)