Intensity

Experimental writing...

Intensity

Indistinct murmurs 

followed by your 

deep breaths. 

Each pause 

in your speech 

makes me hold my breath

as 

I wait for your next words, 

bewitched; your tone enchants

and entices me. 

this infinite distance 

between you and me

finally overcomes; 

the laughter in your voice ~ 

intensifies...

​​

Reviews

[Sinbulvinter]

I like the mystical feel to this piece. You're a great poet and you exercise a great use of words to paint images that invoke the feeling of intensity and mystery.
I've always liked poetry, but never felt I was any good at it. Poetry takes a whole other type of skill, and I really respect the art.
Good job here. =)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I do too and strive to get better each day 'cause I'm no poet lol
Thank you for your nice compliments and for liking this piece, Nerissa. Glad you liked it 😊

[Sinbulvinter]

You seem like a poet to me. haha. I can see the work you put into it.
And you're welcome. =)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hahah these are the perks of reading poetry all day 😛😂

[Island Hippy]

Aloha Yumna, this certainly felt ethereal, with a hint of intrigue and I would even say seduction. It does build nicely and then it's done... but not quite done I suspect. Lovely read. Izzy

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Lol sometimes even I don't know what I write and this is one of those I just wrote off 😛
Thank you for the nice interpretation and for liking, Izzy. Truly means a lot 😊

[RannunculusBlooms]

just wow this is so cool! i love the mysterious-y vibe and the wording!!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for your appreciation here. Glad you liked it 😊

[Surya]

Ohh...that's so pretty I loved it and the feel behind it...:)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Surya. I'm glad you liked it 😊

[duff]

A spiritually seductive piece. It definitely has that mystique and intrigue that draws you in for a closer look. A most enjoyable read. Nice work!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for your nice words over here, duff. Glad you enjoyed 😊

[duff]

My pleasure Yumna:)

[Giulia King]

I would love to continue to read more about this piece. You can make it longer 😊 Enjoyed reading this one, Yumna. 2 thumbs up

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ahh I wish I knew how to make it longer. I fall short of words too often..
Thank you for appreciating this one, Gullia. Good to see you around here again 😊

[Giulia King]

I love that you're experimenting! Your writing gets better and better. I'm glad I'm back 😊

[Dr. YumnaKay]

And I'll keep on being 'cause that's how restless souls are 😉
I'm glad you're back too! 💜

[Kesha]

I really liked this piece, very thought provoking 😊 wonderful scribbles Yumna 😊😊

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Err thought provoking? Haha okay 😛😛
Thank you, Kesha. Glad you liked it 😊

[Kesha]

Haha yes and you're welcome :)

[emmajoy]

Yumna, I so admire your need to experiment with writing, truly do. One learns both comfort and discomfort when wearing different coats.. and when folk admire or not, one learns yet more. That willingness of yours to 'take it on the chin' is wonderful.
Read your poem, then typed the above.. now read a second time, aloud. Firstly your slightly elongated display slides into Space and Time.. good. Your words, slow, increase, slow.. saying more each time.. more than fine. The intensity is so clearly shared, the need for the other is clearly shared.. and yet tis.. not.. quite.. complete. Your secret, perhaps.. or sadly omitted.

Brava, miss Yumna!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for this thoughtful review over my writing, Emma. I'm glad you liked it. 😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i remember a woman from Poland i was dating...i would hang on every word...she had such a great accent and was so interesting...i would just keep asking her questions so that she would talk to me.

and the feelings intensified the more i listened to her voice.
j.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Yes, that does seem like how it is..
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, Jacob.

[barleygirl]

I enjoy your observations of "intensity" . . . a feeling that some seek & others avoid. I'm reading this as a major contrast of ideas . . . on one hand, two people drawing closer & more connected, yet also described as "this infinite distance overcomes" (which seems to indicate LESS closeness)!?!?! I'm not sure what to make of this contrast, tho. I wonder if the "infinite distance" stanza might be stated as "is finally overcome" (which is the opposite meaning as what you've written here).

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This was supposedly on a long distance relationship I wrote about. There does seem to be a conflict in that but I think that in itself is justified ;)
Thank you for the observations on this piece, BG. Truly appreciate it :)

[barleygirl]

I'm similarly torn about this . . . it could go either way & still be interesting!